# The Lindsay Lohan Implosion Contines **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 27, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725 "2007-05-27T19:50:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/1 "2007-05-27T19:50:06Z")
[Suspected of DUI.](http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070527/ap_en_mo/people_lohan) > [@](#): > > Lindsay Lohan was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence Saturday after her convertible struck a curb, and investigators found what they believe is cocaine at the scene, police said. > > Lohan, 20, and two other people were in her 2005 Mercedes SL-65 when it crashed on Sunset Boulevard around 5:30 a.m., Sgt. Mike Foxen said. It appeared the actress was speeding, Lt. Mitch McCann said at an afternoon news conference. > > Officers at the scene found a “usable amount” of a drug tentatively identified as cocaine, McCann said. He declined to say where the drug was found other than to say Lohan was not carrying it. Ah, Lindsay, when are you going to realize that the celebrity life just isn’t meant for you, and that your destiny lies in providing me with an heir? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/2 "2007-05-27T20:05:26Z")
This makes the odds that she will be doing porn in the next 5 years drop to even money. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/3 "2007-05-27T20:14:07Z")
How could the bright, perky little redhead who starred in _The Parent Trap_ have turned into this wretched creature? My theory is that the real Lindsay was abducted by aliens several years ago, and the current “Lindsay” is a pod-person with hidden tentacles and green blood. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/4 "2007-05-27T20:16:32Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] This makes the odds that she will be doing porn in the next 5 years drop to even money. [/QUOTE] Sweet! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/5 "2007-05-27T20:47:35Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] This makes the odds that she will be doing porn in the next 5 years drop to even money. [/QUOTE] You mean " doing porn for money." She does it now inadvertently. Don’t Google “lohan crotch shot.” Remember, I told you not to do it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/6 "2007-05-27T21:09:15Z")
[QUOTE=samclem] Don’t Google “lohan crotch shot.” Remember, I told you not to do it. [/QUOTE] [OMG, she has really let herself go.](http://www.clubdesmonstres.com/best/img/sarlacc.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/7 "2007-05-27T21:18:37Z")
[QUOTE=Johnny Hildo] [OMG, she has really let herself go.](http://www.clubdesmonstres.com/best/img/sarlacc.jpg) [/QUOTE] ITS’ A TRAP! ---
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/8 "2007-05-27T21:50:37Z")
Holy crap she’s a he: [![](https://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i304/winsol2000/LLOHAN10881306_2.jpg) ](https://i75.photobucket.com/albums/i304/winsol2000/LLOHAN10881306_2.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/9 "2007-05-27T21:50:48Z")
As a girl named Lindsay, I just hope the name doesn’t end up as a punchline like “Britney” has. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/10 "2007-05-27T22:31:19Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Ah, Lindsay, when are you going to realize that the celebrity life just isn’t meant for you, and that your destiny lies in providing me with an heir? [/QUOTE] What if she HAS realized this, and that’s the problem? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/11 "2007-05-27T22:46:35Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] What if she HAS realized this, and that’s the problem? [/QUOTE] Hey, so long as I get some nookie out of the deal, I’m pretty much unconcerned with how she handles that realization. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/12 "2007-05-27T22:59:18Z")
Well perhaps the pressure is driving her away from you, did you ever think of that? Maybe you should consider refining your approach. Be sensitive to _her_ needs. Ease off, give it time. Better still, work toward her by degrees. You should practice first, to get a feel for the territory. Perhaps you could try convincing some other girl named “Lindsay” to provide you with an heir, as a warmup exercise? That is, if you happen to know of any such person who shares that name. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/13 "2007-05-27T23:01:27Z")
[QUOTE=silenus] This makes the odds that she will be doing porn in the next 5 years drop to even money. [/QUOTE] Playboy photo shoot: 3:4 Sex tape with a well-hung “boyfriend” - 2:3 Hardcore scene in an indie film: 1:2 Hardcore scene in a porn film: 1:4 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/14 "2007-05-27T23:05:49Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud] How could the bright, perky little redhead who starred in _The Parent Trap_ have turned into this wretched creature? [/QUOTE] Oh, that one’s easy to answer. It takes just three words: Dina Sullivan Lohan. Lohan’s mother is using her as a meal ticket, nothing more and nothing less. She’s living the high life on her daughter’s earning power and has bene pimping her out as a model, actress, singer and, of late, sex symbol since Lohan the Younger was about five. What the hell else is going to happen in such a situation? ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/15 "2007-05-27T23:35:43Z")
Homegirl is a wreck on the personal life tip, and her acting chops aren’t all that. She’s “hot” at the moment but she has five years or so to get her shit together, learn to really act well, or she can reserve a seat next to Molly Ringwald and Ali Sheedy in the Next Big Burnout Hall of Fame. (In all fairness I don’t think those two drank and drugged their way down there, but it happens.) ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2007, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/16 "2007-05-27T23:47:28Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Well perhaps the pressure is driving her away from you, did you ever think of that? Maybe you should consider refining your approach. Be sensitive to _her_ needs. Ease off, give it time. Better still, work toward her by degrees. You should practice first, to get a feel for the territory. Perhaps you could try convincing some other girl named “Lindsay” to provide you with an heir, as a warmup exercise? That is, if you happen to know of any such person who shares that name. [/QUOTE] Hmmm, that could work, but I don’t think **Mirror Image egamI rorriM** would be game for that idea. After all, _she’s_ not stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/17 "2007-05-28T03:57:55Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Hmmm, that could work, but I don’t think **Mirror Image egamI rorriM** would be game for that idea. After all, _she’s_ not stupid. [/QUOTE] That’s right. I’m in college, and I’m not dropping out to care for a baby. Sorry, dude. Also, I don’t have Lohan’s curves or lovely red hair (when it’s red, which is not very often these days). ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/18 "2007-05-28T04:50:32Z")
[QUOTE=Mirror Image egamI rorriM] Also, I don’t have Lohan’s curves or lovely red hair (when it’s red, which is not very often these days). [/QUOTE] With all the blow, Lindsay Lohan doesn’t even have Lindsay Lohan’s curves anymore. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2007, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lindsay-lohan-implosion-contines/405725/19 "2007-05-28T05:14:33Z")
[QUOTE=Mirror Image egamI rorriM] That’s right. I’m in college, and I’m not dropping out to care for a baby. Sorry, dude. Also, I don’t have Lohan’s curves or lovely red hair (when it’s red, which is not very often these days). [/QUOTE] Yeah, but you’ve got a lovely figure none the less.