# the List. a question for married couples or the otherwise attached. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872 "2009-03-01T12:45:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/1 "2009-03-01T12:45:30Z")
so i was wondering when i chanced upon a post by \*\*jayjay \*\*in the thread “[So when did you last bed celebrity?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10887861&postcount=8)” > [@So when did you last bed celebrity?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-when-did-you-last-bed-celebrity/487795/8): > > You do realize that 99% of the time, “The List” is a joke. Basically, permission given for something that’s not ever going to happen anyway. I seriously doubt that most of the otherwise-monogamous couples who do The List actually are giving permission. say you have a List of celebrities with whom you are given explicit permission to fuck with but implicitly meant to be a joke since it’s unlikely to happen.. would you, given the chance? since this is a hypothetical there is absolutely no frakking way you can contact your other for permission first without losing the opportunity. my opinion spoilered so as not to lead the responses: as i’m not attached at the moment i’ll like to say that i’ll do it, though in reality i won’t if it means that my partner would be hurt. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/2 "2009-03-01T12:54:17Z")
Sorry I don’t have an answer for your poll, but wow. Damn, and DAMN I’m old. I had no idea that such a thing/agreement was supposed to be an option until this very moment. Was I supposed to have been offering my SOs this option over the years? clueless…😃 ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/3 "2009-03-01T14:41:30Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > would you, given the chance? I wouldn’t, my wife would never forgive me. A side note for any guys who haven’t made a list with their SO yet - Most guys I know, when asked to compile their list put people they know IRL on it; not a good scene. Women just assume they are going to pick celebrities first. They are not happy to hear one of their neighbours or friends, etc. making the cut. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/4 "2009-03-01T14:47:47Z")
So is this like a Bucket List but with an F? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/5 "2009-03-01T15:01:23Z")
No. We don’t have a list. If we did, it would be a joke and I wouldn’t follow through. I have a girlfriend who had a list, and had the opportunity, an did - and the result wasn’t pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/6 "2009-03-01T15:25:39Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > Sorry I don’t have an answer for your poll, but wow. Damn, and DAMN I’m old. I had no idea that such a thing/agreement was supposed to be an option until this very moment. > > Was I supposed to have been offering my SOs this option over the years? clueless…😃 My husband’s free fuck is either Raquel Welch or Sophia Loren (I forget at the moment). My free fuck has changed over the years, mostly because they’re dead. I’d have to think about who does it for me these days and give my husband the proposal. In triplicate. ---
**Author:** ![Jettboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@Jettboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jettboy)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/7 "2009-03-01T16:47:12Z")
My wife and I both have a ‘list’, but it’s more a joke than anything else. Sure, I _imagine_ I’d love to ‘do’ Selma Hayek, but if the opportunity ever presented itself I know I wouldn’t, I couldn’t; I’m married. ---
**Author:** ![Cowgirl\_Jules](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@Cowgirl\_Jules](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowgirl_Jules)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/8 "2009-03-01T17:44:56Z")
Our list is a huge joke. He’s got about a hundred women on it, and I have about three men on mine. Neither of us would ever do anything about it, in the unlikely event that the opportunity should arise. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/9 "2009-03-01T19:33:10Z")
My wife would not find a list funny and I would be unable to watch anything with anyone on the list again. Unless I wanted to hear a bunch of comments. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/10 "2009-03-01T22:20:48Z")
> [@Cowgirl\_Jules](#): > > Our list is a huge joke. He’s got about a hundred women on it, and I have about three men on mine. Neither of us would ever do anything about it, in the unlikely event that the opportunity should arise. I guarantee that if Raquel Welch made herself available to Mr. K, I’d pat him on the head and tell him not to be too late getting home. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/11 "2009-03-01T22:35:48Z")
> [@](#): > > I wouldn’t, my wife would never forgive me. A side note for any guys who haven’t made a list with their SO yet - Most guys I know, when asked to compile their list put people they know IRL on it; not a good scene. Women just assume they are going to pick celebrities first. They are not happy to hear one of their neighbours or friends, etc. making the cut. If I were ever in a position to make such a list, I would probably fill it up with fictional characters. Let’s be honest, here: Is there really any significant difference in the probability I’ll ever score with Catherine Zeta-Jones, or with Dr. Susan Calvin? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/12 "2009-03-02T07:48:10Z")
My partner and I have both had sex with celebrities before we met. (If you were sexually active in the NYC gay scene of the 70s and 80s, you couldn’t avoid celebs). But we’ve been monogamous for 21 years, and that’s not gonna change. As far as hypotheticals are concerned, we both know each other’s type, so we don’t need a list. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/13 "2009-03-02T15:27:49Z")
> [@HongKongFooey](#): > > I wouldn’t, my wife would never forgive me. A side note for any guys who haven’t made a list with their SO yet - Most guys I know, when asked to compile their list put people they know IRL on it; not a good scene. Women just assume they are going to pick celebrities first. They are not happy to hear one of their neighbours or friends, etc. making the cut. So are you saying that putting my sister-in-law on the list might be construed as “A BAD MOVE”? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/14 "2009-03-02T15:38:10Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > So are you saying that putting my sister-in-law on the list might be construed as “A BAD MOVE”? Amongst picky types, probably. Sister, too. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/15 "2009-03-02T15:40:39Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > So are you saying that putting my sister-in-law on the list might be construed as “A BAD MOVE”? What does she look like? I can still put her on my list 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/16 "2009-03-02T15:45:12Z")
> [@HongKongFooey](#): > > What does she look like? I can still put her on my list 😛 She looks a bit like my wife. When they were younger we used to tease that she looked like Kristi Yamaguchi, but the resemblance is not much there anymore. You have permission to put my wife on your list. That ought to confuse the hell out of your SO: Who the HELL is Shibb’s wife and why is she on your list? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/17 "2009-03-02T16:11:55Z")
My husband and I **just** joke about it sometimes; it’s celebrity only (and not someone we’d cross paths with\*) and just one person each. I’m not entirely sure who his pick is, these days; I know a previous pick isn’t interested in men. He knows who mine is but that’s because it’s remained the same for over a decade and has a passing resemblance to him. Frankly, my husband has more to worry about (which isn’t much) from the romanceable video game characters from games like Knights of the Old Republic, Mass Effect, etc. When we were each playing Neverwinter Nights (separately) and got to the romance storylines, we’d each report to the other on how far we’d gotten with our paramours. - OK, so I did end up in the same theater as my pick. My husband was there, the guy’s wife was there, oh, and did I mention it was at a film opening for the gentleman’s latest movie? Yeah, that was no threat. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/18 "2009-03-02T16:18:15Z")
> [@HongKongFooey](#): > > A side note for any guys who haven’t made a list with their SO yet - Most guys I know, when asked to compile their list put people they know IRL on it; not a good scene. Women just assume they are going to pick celebrities first. They are not happy to hear one of their neighbors or friends, etc. making the cut. Yeah, rather good point ;). I’d only put people I know IRL on the list if I was angling for a threesome. Well, or if it was clear that I wouldn’t actually want them (long inside joke). And no, I wouldn’t take the opportunity. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/19 "2009-03-02T19:11:50Z")
GF and I both have lists. I cannot remember who is on hers, as I find them all pretty unremarkable. She objects to every single one on my list, partly because “She’s tiny! You’ll break her!”, and partly because she thinks they are all ugly. Apparently men and women have different evaluations of Michelle Pfeiffer. She is also unimpressed that I’ve hobbled my own chances by putting a couple of lesbians on my list. Jeez, try to do something nice! ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/20 "2009-03-02T19:36:12Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > GF and I both have lists. I cannot remember who is on hers, as I find them all pretty unremarkable. She objects to every single one on my list, partly because “She’s tiny! You’ll break her!”, and partly because she thinks they are all ugly. > > Apparently men and women have different evaluations of Michelle Pfeiffer. > > She is also unimpressed that I’ve hobbled my own chances by putting a couple of lesbians on my list. Jeez, try to do something nice! Post of the Day! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872.md?page=2)