# the List. a question for married couples or the otherwise attached. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 1, 2009, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872 "2009-03-01T12:45:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/21 "2009-03-02T19:50:07Z")
I don’t have a list and I wouldn’t go through with it if I did have one and the opportunity arose - my SO would not forgive me, and I don’t think I would deserve to be forgiven. All the above may only apply when I am sober, however. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/22 "2009-03-02T20:14:33Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Post of the Day! Thanks! In truth, I would never act on my list. My relationship is too important to me. Even if Portia DiRossi should materialize in my bed naked and hetero, I wouldn’t do it. Try me. I dare you. No, seriously, I dare you. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/23 "2009-03-02T20:51:05Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > So is this like a Bucket List but with an F? I spent far too much time scratching my head and saying to myself “Bucket Fist?” ---
**Author:** ![Spiny\_Norman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Spiny\_Norman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiny_Norman)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/24 "2009-03-02T21:14:36Z")
A list is too easy. Having just one freebie forces you to really ponder your priorities… (No, wouldn’t dream of following through. Besides, Brooke Shields may not actually like me, can find better any day of the week and doesn’t know I exist.) Anecdote: A colleague of mine apparently had an agreed-upon freebie with his girlfriend - the freebie was an, admittedly cute, young flavor-of-the-month budding TV star. One day, lo and behold, said starlet is actually in the building. So blockhead/colleague _calls up his girlfriend_ pretending he’s about to use his voucher for a free sample and he just wants to "make sure the deal was still good’. Not a good idea. The girlfriend was not amused. Not at all. As in screaming-into-the-phone not at all amused. The gathering crowd, on the other hand, had a field day pretending not to listen to his attempts to talk her down. ---
**Author:** ![Other\_Voices](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Other\_Voices](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Other_Voices)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/25 "2009-03-02T21:30:39Z")
Neither the wife nor I really have a list, per se, but I’m not responsible for my actions if I ever find myself alone in an elevator with Cate Blanchett. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I spent far too much time scratching my head and saying to myself “Bucket Fist?” HAHAHAHAHA! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/26 "2009-03-02T21:38:03Z")
> [@Other\_Voices](#): > > Neither the wife nor I really have a list, per se, but I’m not responsible for my actions if I ever find myself alone in an elevator with Cate Blanchett. Funny, my GF would be happy if I replaced anyone on my list with Cate. Whatever makes you happy, pudding. ---
**Author:** ![Yarster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/7c8e57/32.png) [@Yarster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yarster)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/27 "2009-03-02T22:00:10Z")
The wife and I have a joke list of one celebrity each. Her’s is and always will be Hugh Jackman. Mine used to be Linda Carter (Wonder Woman). Even as an older woman today, I find her very attractive. That said, she’s pretty much hitting rock bottom these days to the point where you almost COULD probably nail Linda Carter if you caught her at the right time in the right bar under the right circumstances. I could see this idea made my wife very uncomfortable, so I revised mine to be Selma Hayek instead. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/28 "2009-03-02T22:22:04Z")
We have a list each, though they’re both very short and I can’t remember who’s on hers. TBH, even if I did happen to meet the woman who played Dax in DS9, and she was as sexy as her character, and was interested in me, I’m not sure I’d really be all that interested. After all, I meet loads of sexy women all the time, and I’m not interested in them. However, it would be kinda cool to be shagging the woman who shagged Darla\* from Buffy - presuming she came back to me. 😃 (Actually another one of mine; like I said, I can’t remember hers. I’m sure there’s one of the Buffy regulars on there, though - maybe Tara? Who is actually an acquaintance of a friend). ---
**Author:** ![Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f19dbf/32.png) [@Only\_Mostly\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Only_Mostly_Dead)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/29 "2009-03-03T03:52:07Z")
Yes, **El Perro Fumando** and I have “the list,” 5 celebrities apiece. And if, by some crazy chance, one of my five was made available, I certainly wouldn’t do anything. The List is more a joke, and a free pass to totally lust during any TV show, movie, song, or sporting event in which one of the five is a participant. ---
**Author:** ![Vihaga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Vihaga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vihaga)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/30 "2009-03-03T15:32:24Z")
No, we don’t have a list, and the idea has never occurred to me, though I’ve heard of it before. If we did make one, of course it would only be a joke. ---
**Author:** ![davekhps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@davekhps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davekhps)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/31 "2009-03-03T15:49:45Z")
I don’t have a defined gimme list with my current LTR GF, but we joke about it. BTW, you _never_ make a list including people you know IRL. Never, ever, never. You might as well just admit to wanting to hump each other’s friends. Oh, one other downside about the list: the other person finds out who you find attractive. If you’re dating a Scotch-Irish redhead and your list of five has three Asian girls on it, she’s going to have insecurity issues as a result. Ditto if her list includes a bunch of ugly old guys-- my GF’s list includes men that few women would find conventionally attractive, which ironically makes _me_ all self-conscious. After all, if she had David Beckham on her list, I could say, “Yeah, she’ll never get him, but she’s with me, so ergo, I must be the next best thing to David Beckham” ;-). Instead, my competition is usually akin to late-model Anthony Hopkins-- not a bad man to age into, but for a guy in his thirties, I’m like, “Wha??” ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/32 "2009-03-03T16:37:13Z")
I tell my wife which of her friends I would like to have sex with. She finds my choices interesting and she knows that I won’t cheat on her. When she meets someone new she usually makes a judgment as to whether I’d want to sleep with her. She’s usually wrong. She assumes that I’ll like the ones who she finds attractive. I like the ones who seem like they like to fuck. There is some overlap there, but not a lot. My wife doesn’t have a list. She’s not interested in having sex with anyone, up to and including me. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/33 "2009-03-03T18:01:18Z")
My husband and I both have “lists” as a JOKE. In fact, although I’m straight, there are a couple of women on my “I’d do her” list. It’s fun to watch his head explode as he fantasizes watching me with Salma Hayek. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/34 "2009-03-03T18:40:14Z")
A few of my relationships have had lists- and they were most definitely NOT just jokes. I don’t know that I would actually move on them, but I would feel free to do so. At least one of the exs would have leapt at the opportunity, should one of her freebies shown up. She was rather attractive. I expect she’d have had no difficulty. Huh, I bet she’s bagged him by now… ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/35 "2009-03-03T19:21:39Z")
When I dated a Japanese girl, her list was Watanabe Ken, and mine was (and still is) Halle Berry. Friends send me Halle pics all the time, and even call me over to watch her on TV or YouTube clips. I’m seriously considering announcing that as she’s off the market, now, I’m removing her from my list, even if I keep her on it secretly. I did once consider adding Sarah Michelle Geller to my list after standing behind her in line at a Starbucks, once. But, as my gf was with me at the time, I think it might have been too “real” to take seriously ('cause, you know, if only she’d turned around and seen me…). ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/36 "2009-03-03T19:34:54Z")
We don’t have lists, but then We have a semi open relationship these days so I don’t exactly need one. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/37 "2009-03-03T19:35:18Z")
My girlfriend and I each have a list, and it’s taken for granted that (a) it’s absolutely a joke, no question about it, and (b) it’s 100% deadly serious. If I open my door one day and Jewel Staite and Nicki Clyne were standing there, ready to go, my only obligation to my girlfriend is to take pictures during the fun. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/38 "2009-03-03T21:28:15Z")
An old girlfriend and I each had a list, and #1 on both was a good friend of hers. And yes, we were both serious. We were never able to actually make it happen though. My wife and I don’t have lists, but if I ever hear that Mike Rowe is shooting \*Dirty Jobs \*nearby, we’ll be leaving town for the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/39 "2009-03-03T22:12:34Z")
My wife put Sting at the top of her list. I didn’t make a list. (I may be dumb, but I’m not crazy!) ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2009, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872/40 "2009-03-04T13:20:51Z")
I was best man for a couple whose (joking) List was (for him) Geena Davis and (for her) Jeff Goldblum. (This was back when they GD & JG were married.) Turned out the wife had been slamming it around for years, but never actually with Jeff Goldblum. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-list-a-question-for-married-couples-or-the-otherwise-attached/487872.md?page=3)