# The logistical ease of having an affair **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687 "2012-02-03T21:46:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/21 "2012-02-04T18:01:52Z")
It would be absurdly easy. My husband’s job is 3 hours away, 7 days on and 7 days off, so he is only home every other week. We could both be having a string of affairs if we so desired. I don’t, and there is no evidence he does, but logistically it would be a breeze. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2012, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/22 "2012-02-04T18:13:47Z")
My ex found it childishly easy to have an affair. I used to be a very trusting person. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/23 "2012-02-04T18:29:41Z")
I can’t imagine a better situation than mine for having an affair. I set my own hours, work alone, and have an office with a couch. Fortunately, I am not very affair-prone. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/24 "2012-02-04T20:44:44Z")
The wife gets on a commuter train into the Loop every day, I work 20 miles from home and have the ability to be pretty flexible with my time most days. Yeah, it would be a snap, but hardly worth it. Well, except for… 😉 She’d totally be worth it. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/25 "2012-02-04T22:08:55Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > Yeah, I’m not saying I wouldn’t sleep around because I so would right now, as long as no one expected sex from me. Sex, I can get at home but several hours uninterrupted sleep - that’s what I’m looking for right now. I think you win the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/26 "2012-02-05T02:21:17Z")
I don’t work Mondays, and I have to pay for daycare whether or not the kids go, so they go! It’s the day I clean the house, fold laundry, grocery shop, go to the doctor, etc. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/27 "2012-02-05T02:46:15Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > Yeah, I’m not saying I wouldn’t sleep around because I so would right now, as long as no one expected sex from me. Sex, I can get at home but several hours uninterrupted sleep - that’s what I’m looking for right now. I agree, you win the thread 🙂 My SO lives in a different state. We try to drop everything when we hear each other’s ring tone, but sometimes he calls me while I’m feeding cats. Not having a death wish, I ignore the phone and continue doing the important stuff. I grumble at Bill if he answers the call while he’s driving, so he has stopped doing that. Logistically, having an affair would be very easy. However, having an affair would mean that I broke my word and that would be very hard. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/28 "2012-02-05T03:11:47Z")
Over the past ten years we have lived in separate countries several times. It would logistically be easy. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/29 "2012-02-05T15:28:41Z")
Since we don’t track each others movements, it would be trivially easy for either of us to have an affair. I take 5 or 6 mini-vacations a year with a friend of mine, and she doesn’t go to the airport to see if it’s actually Ed I’m boarding the plane with. She takes care of all the finances\* and could easily carve out enough for a love-nest without me being aware of it. Finding time would be harder than fooling the spouse, for both of us. \*When she was in the hospital last year, I took care of finances for two weeks. We discovered to our surprise, that I actually didn’t know where our bank _was_. I had never been there, and hadn’t filled out a deposit slip in 25 years. We’ve since taken steps to remedy that, in case of some sort of accident or tragedy. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/30 "2012-02-05T15:51:11Z")
My ex mate found it easy to have an affair. Well, easy enough. I felt sorry for his wife, but I was young and stupid. He is/was an avid biker, so he’d bike over to my house in the mornings. He had a key. His wife didn’t mind if he had his own space and went out with friends (at the time), so it was easy for us to meet up. I wasn’t the scorned one in that triangle, but boy, it definitely gave _me_ trust issues later in life. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/31 "2012-02-05T16:30:22Z")
It would be almost impossible now. My office started a remote work project last year so I’m working from home 4 days a week and he started a new job in December through which his office is in our house and he only leaves for client meetings. We both socialize with friends on our own but not enough to cover for an affair. ---
**Author:** ![carlb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carlb/32/5930_2.png) [@carlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlb)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/32 "2012-02-06T15:48:38Z")
Logistically speaking, it would be trivially easy for me, slightly less so for my wife (but not much less). I’m a house-husband, and my wife travels _a lot_ for work; often 20 days out of the month. I handle all of the finances, so that’s why I say it’d be _slightly_ less easy for my wife; she’d need to pay cash for affair-related expenses (unless it was with someone with whom she travelled), or get a credit card without me knowing it. Psychologically speaking, not very easy for me; I seem to be hard-wired for monogamy. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/33 "2012-02-06T15:58:28Z")
> [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](#): > > There’s a bar in Boise called “The Office”. > “Honey, Jane/John called and said to meet her/him at The Office tonight to discuss the Johnson accout.” > “Darn. Well duty calls. Don’t wait up.” This doesn’t work so well for [My Apartment](http://www.clubcrawlers.com/toronto/nightclub/myapartment) in Mississauga. “Where were you?” “Oh, just went back to My Apartment for a couple drinks.” “Oh really?” “…damn.” ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/34 "2012-02-06T16:06:06Z")
My wife goes out every week, like clockwork, to play soccer, or so she claims. She comes home sweaty, with bruises on her legs. Should I worry that she is in an abusive extra-marital affair? I could easily pull off an affair, if I could find someone who was attacted to me and was willing to only see me for an hour or two, once or twice a week. My wife knows I’m too lazy to bother though. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/35 "2012-02-06T16:16:18Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > My wife goes out every week, like clockwork, to play soccer, or so she claims. She comes home sweaty, with bruises on her legs. Should I worry that she is in an abusive extra-marital affair? Could just be soccer. An alternative is that she’s in an affair with someone into really rough sex. Bruises don’t always mean non-consensual… ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/36 "2012-02-06T17:29:25Z")
Guy here. It wouldn’t be easy for me at all. It seems as though it would be way too much work, both in trying to hide it and in maintaining two relationships. I work 10 to 16 hours a day, 6 days a week, sometimes 7. When I get home, I barely muster the will to throw something together for dinner and engage in a 10 minute conversation before I’m dosing off. Why in the world would I want to complicate that? Sex? Yeah, okay. If I were unfaithful to my wife, I’d be an absolute wreck, more than likely make the person I’m cheating with miserable, and then still get caught. Frankly, I don’t know how any guy gets away with it. ---
**Author:** ![smokey78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@smokey78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smokey78)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2012, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687/37 "2012-02-06T23:22:18Z")
Has anyone heard of the Pilot’s Wife? The pilot leading two lives? Or athletes having mucho opportunity as the wives are at home and they are away. There’s just more temptation and opportunity nowadays. I think about the pioneering times of over a century ago. There was just simply no way for a farmer with NO neighbors to be carousing around when there was much work on the lands. And much work to be had. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-logistical-ease-of-having-an-affair/611687.md?page=1)