# The long and winding divorce..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2012, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510 "2012-11-01T01:44:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Salamanda\_Palaganda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/46a35a/32.png) [@Salamanda\_Palaganda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salamanda_Palaganda)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/261 "2013-03-30T19:23:10Z")
I can`t believe you are going to cook her a turkey dinner too. I wish you were my ex. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/262 "2013-03-30T19:41:21Z")
> [@Salamanda\_Palaganda](#): > > I can`t believe you are going to cook her a turkey dinner too. I wish you were my ex. Well, it’s like I’ve told my friends and family: I want to make sure that I’m still involved in my kid’s lives (14, and 15 years old). They don’t really need to see mom and dad fighting and being jerks to one another. I owe it to them to be somewhat amicable with their mother and make sure we all come through this OK. I’ve always cooked the turkey and actually I like cooking. Leftover turkey will be good for the kids from a continuity perspective. And maybe I can take some leftover turkey back home too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/263 "2013-03-30T19:51:44Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Well, it’s like I’ve told my friends and family: I want to make sure that I’m still involved in my kid’s lives (14, and 15 years old). > > They don’t really need to see mom and dad fighting and being jerks to one another. I owe it to them to be somewhat amicable with their mother and make sure we all come through this OK. > > I’ve always cooked the turkey and actually I like cooking. Leftover turkey will be good for the kids from a continuity perspective. And maybe I can take some leftover turkey back home too. 😉 Good you’re taking the high road and thinking of your kids over yourself. Hope the dinner goes smoothly, and hell yeah, you’d better get to take some leftovers home with you. ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/264 "2013-03-30T20:05:15Z")
You sound like a really good guy and a good Dad, Leaffan.May this new road be a happy one, and full of sunshine. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/265 "2013-03-30T20:17:29Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Apparently. > Yeah, I know. And if I was hell-bent on character defamation I would have said a lot more, and a lot worse, and said it a lot more vociferously. So, yeah, my side of the story is that my wife and 15 year old daughter didn’t help move anything. > > Take my word for it or not. I think you may have misunderstood me - I believe everything you’re saying, and understand that you’re trying not to badmouth her terribly, even though it sounds like she really, really deserves it. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/266 "2013-03-30T20:42:55Z")
I believe you, too. I hope you can continue to take the high road. You may have to grit your teeth, a LOT, but your kids will remember that you didn’t bad-mouth their Mom, and put them in the middle. Good luck, Leaffan. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/267 "2013-03-31T05:57:32Z")
[![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGa70tVYVKo) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/268 "2013-03-31T07:31:27Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGa70tVYVKo](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGa70tVYVKo) I understand the reference. But how are you really doing, **Leaffan**? ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2013, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/269 "2013-03-31T16:03:40Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > I believe you, too. I hope you can continue to take the high road. You may have to grit your teeth, a LOT, but your kids will remember that you didn’t bad-mouth their Mom, and put them in the middle. > > Good luck, Leaffan. I’ll echo this. All will be better off in the long term if you do. Good luck, Leaffan. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/270 "2013-04-01T00:29:23Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I understand the reference. But how are you really doing, **Leaffan**? Just got back home to an empty house. First time ever. The dog isn’t here now; even she’s gone. For some reason that bothers me more than the wife and kids. They’ve been away together before, but the dog has always been my buddy. I’m rather bemused at the whole situation. No dog. No kids. No wife. I work tomorrow and so am trying to settle in for a good nap. It’s weird though. I’m stopping at a good friend’s place for supper tomorrow night. I like to think I have some really good support out there, and I believe I do. In the immortal words of Asia: “One thing is sure. That time will tell.” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/271 "2013-04-01T02:32:05Z")
The high road is often the more challenging one. In the end, the view is worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/272 "2013-04-02T00:46:37Z")
Hi Nancy, I have good information that tells me you’ve been reading my posts on here. I’m somewhat hurt by this. 3 years ago you chose to go through my Gmail account with a fine-toothed comb. I guess it was my fault for leaving my email account open on the computer, but still. Why you would choose to go into my work laptop and read my personal information I’m not sure. Unlike you, I never hit \ \ \ every time I back away from my computer for 30 seconds, so I suppose that gave you the OK to snoop around and start reading my private posts. I can’t say I’m very impressed with this new level of privacy invasion, especially since we were separating anyway. I guess I should change the password on my Gmail account now too, although as you can see there’s nothing incriminating in there either. I won’t be posting to this thread anymore. I hope you enjoyed your peep into my personal thoughts. See you when I pick up the kids this weekend. Doug ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/273 "2013-04-02T01:06:21Z")
I’m sorry to hear that, **Leaffan**. Do you think you should request a lockdown on this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/274 "2013-04-02T01:41:10Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I’m sorry to hear that, **Leaffan**. Do you think you should request a lockdown on this thread? Hi. No. I know threads will not get deleted, and I’m not about to post any more personal information in this thread. As much as most of us dislike the axiom “it is what it is” that’s pretty much what I’m left with here. Maybe I should start a new meme: 1. Hi Nancy! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/275 "2013-04-02T02:10:51Z")
Or not. Please leave off-board drama off-board. If you have real-life problems with someone you know, deal with them in real life, don’t bring them here. **twickster** , for the SDMB ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/276 "2013-04-02T02:23:55Z")
**Leaffan** , you really do have my sympathy. The part about the dog being gone too made me think about how lonesome you must have to have been feeling. I’ve not said anything in this thread before because I don’t really have any advice. Every time this thread gets bumped, I get a ☹ because you are so unhappy. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/277 "2013-04-02T02:57:43Z")
Did I miss the post that said that you have stopped the direct deposit into her account? I am a bit concerned about you. Not being mean, or joking, but, you seem to me to be acting like somebody who is depressed, and being medicated for it. (IANAD). You also seem to still jump at the behest of a woman who has taken your money for the last year, and doing it all under the umbrella of ‘watching out for the feelings of others’, ‘making sure the kids don’t feel…’ ‘taking the high road’. This way lies madness. I hope you are doing well, but, methinks you will end up with a much lighter wallet than you would have had with a lawyer’s assistance. Best wishes, and thanks for all of the updates. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/278 "2013-04-02T03:20:52Z")
Well I’m not depressed. And I’m certainly not medicated. And as far as monetary transfers are concerned, that hasn’t really happened yet, since it all begins this month (April). Thanks for your concern. I’m pretty much a sane and normally adjusted person. It’s hard to tell on a message board though, I agree. I guess I could say the same about your wellness. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/279 "2013-04-02T04:35:34Z")
> [@saje](#): > > You sound like a really good guy and a good Dad, Leaffan.May this new road be a happy one, and full of sunshine. hmmm it’s a fine line between good guy and door mat. Trust me she will milk your guilt for all it’s worth. Be careful mate. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510/280 "2013-04-02T05:05:37Z")
I’m going to close this thread at the request of the OP since discussion seemed to be winding down anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-and-winding-divorce/639510.md?page=13)