# The long awaited Ugly House Photos **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 3, 2004, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126 "2004-08-03T12:54:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/41 "2004-08-03T17:48:59Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > We didn’t snicker too badly when we first saw it. but the snark factor has been off the scale since we got here. I think they had a serious phobia about fire - there are smoke detectors in every room, plus several in the basement, fire extinguishers everywhere, and a sensor in the garage wired to an alarm in the master bedroom, in case the cars spontaneously burst into flame in the middle of the night. No doubt they feared the neighbors would take a torch to it to cure it of The Uglies. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/42 "2004-08-03T17:54:07Z")
> [@Adoptamom\_II](#): > > I’ll bet your home was a steal for the neighborhood as well! Our 3 acres is about the smallest lot here - at least the best I can tell from the plat I saw. The orange-y carpet in the family room used to be in the living and dining rooms too - the remnants were in the basement, covering remnants of brown and blue. I don’t think they ever threw carpet away! I’m putting an ad in the PennySaver offering free carpet - hope someone takes it away! ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/43 "2004-08-03T17:57:27Z")
My personal favorite is the blue cherubs. But I bet you’d find an ebay buyer who’s been searching high and low for just such an “accent” for her home/trailer. I admire your ability to see beyond the decor. The property looks wonderful. It’ll be a lot of work, but worth it when it’s finally the way you want it. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/44 "2004-08-03T17:58:11Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > Phone jack in the bathroom, handy for those telemarketing calls. First step from the sliding glass door looks like a doozy. Speaking of phones (there’s a blue princess phone on the toilet tank, and one of the shower doors is mirrored - so you can watch yourself poop while you talk on the phone!!), in the basement on the dryer is a pink rotary dial phone. And authentic old pink dial phone. In the center where you used to have the phone number is a photo of a dog. The phone works, tho! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/45 "2004-08-03T18:01:03Z")
> [@OldBroad](#): > > The property looks wonderful. It’ll be a lot of work, but worth it when it’s finally the way you want it. And that’s how we approached this place. We knew it could be what we wanted, and we’ll be able to do just about all the work ourselves. As I write this, my sweetie is downstairs building walls around the laundry area so his shop dust and crud won’t gunk up the washer and dryer! All his idea! What a guy! ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/46 "2004-08-03T18:04:21Z")
What a great house! No, I’m serious, it really is a great house. Sure, the decor is possibly the ugliest thing I’ve seen today, but all of the ugliness is on things you can change. The outside is decent (once you get those- are they ducks?- out of the front garden and move the lions (or were they ‘loins?’). The inside seems to be roomy and comfortable. All those big trees outside are beautiful. Plus, since you clearly can’t leave it as it is, you can have the fun of redoing it to suit your own tastes. Are you doing it one room at a time, or all at once? My running commentary as I look again throught the pictures: I’ll bet you could get all those curtain-rods in the doorways off in a day, and make a huge difference in the level of ugliness. I love the wood-burning stove. Are you going to keep it? They’re great in the winter- heat up the room for the cost of wood, and you can put a kettle on top for hot cocoa, too. The yellow carpet is hideous. Here’s hoping for wood underneath. The paneling- what was anyone thinking? Was there ever a time when that was attractive? No! No, I say, not even in 1972 was this look attractive. Pulling this down and replacing it with nice paint is one of your first jobs, in my opinion. Maybe you can sell the chandelier on e-bay. I doubt you’ll get $700 for it, but you might get enough to buy paint for when you take the paneling down. My parents have one of those big tile-mirror arrangements in their living room, too. But at least theirs doesn’t have the veins. Just take it down today, while you’re doing the curtain-rods. Whatever is underneath can’t possibly be worse. The yellow carpet meeting the green-patterned linoleum… I feel dizzy. Whose idea was it to match that linoleum with that wallpaper? On the bright side, the dark cabinets with the green countertops- if you simplified the walls and floor, that would probably work just fine. Wow, matching kitchen wall-paper and shelf-paper. That’s just… wrong somehow. The giant mushrooms might explain a lot about the rest of the decor. Don’t do drugs, kids… especially while picking out linoleum. I have those same mirrored doors on every closet in my house (no, I didn’t install them), and I like them. They make the space seem bigger and give me a place to check my outfit. I won’t hear a word anyone else is saying against them. The wall borders have to go. The blue carpet isn’t awful- you could live with it longer than the yellow, at any rate, if you’re remodeling a piece at a time. The bathroom looks like someone has already been violently ill in it. All that streaky, splotchy marble is just Not Good for a small bathroom. Especially if you’re not feeling well or if you’ve been drinking. I actually like the bright yellow sewing room, but not with that floor color, and maybe it’s worse in person. And not with pink curtains. Ooo- I didn’t notice the half-brick, half-siding look in the other exterior picture. Gosh. That’s pretty ugly, but it’s also probably pretty expensive to do anything about. The gazebo… I’m torn between “Almighty Zeus, that’s ugly!” and “On the other hand, it would be nice to have a screened- in place to enjoy a summer evening.” But all those trees! It looks like you’re in the middle of the woods- really beautiful. The windmill. The windmill… just think of the time and effort and money someone spent erecting that monstrosity. And is that an honest-to-goodness pink flamingo lawn ornament? I thought they were myths. In conclusion- about thirty years ago, someone with terrible taste (and who was probably color-blind as well) spent many thousands of dollars to do an unforgiveable hatchet job on a charming little house in the trees. Won’t it be fun to see it emerge as what it clearly was meant to be- a peaceful haven with simple, tasteful colors and a wonderful yard. Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/47 "2004-08-03T18:15:16Z")
> [@FisherQueen](#): > > And is that an honest-to-goodness pink flamingo lawn ornament? I thought they were myths. Actually, there’s a service in Minnesota that specializes in pink flamingo lawn ornaments. [Flamingos by the yard.](http://www.easternonionmn.com/index_files/Page632.htm) > [@](#): > > Flamingos by the Yard is a service that decorates the front yard of your “victim” with lawn ornaments. What could be more memorable than filling a yard with silly stuff to celebrate their next birthday, anniversary or any special occasion? Here’s a picture of one of the [“victims”](http://www.easternonionmn.com/index_files/Page3902.htm). ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/48 "2004-08-03T18:26:05Z")
**FisherQueen** , the only reason the curtains and mirror tiles aren’t gone yet is that I’m hosting and UglyFest on Saturday to show off the decor before we start the kitchen re-do. Once the party guests are gone, so are the curtains! ---
**Author:** ![MinniePurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@MinniePurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MinniePurl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/49 "2004-08-03T18:54:30Z")
**FairyChatMom** , I think the people you bought the house from had relatives with just slightly better taste, and they used to own the house I live in. I have those exact same ugly valances, but helpfully sponge-painted an assortment of weird colors. Maybe I should put up pictures of my Smurf Barf bathroom. And the bad wallpaper, and the stenciling from hell. Although, I admit, my house isn’t as ugly as yours. I at least don’t have any veined mirror-tiles. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/50 "2004-08-03T18:58:12Z")
There isn’t anything in that house that can’t be fixed, **FCM**. And it isn’t even the worst thing I’ve ever seen. And being a sometimes real estate agent, I’ve seen a lot. The house has good bones and the yard is great. I’d say you guys done good. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/51 "2004-08-03T19:04:36Z")
Just one comment that sums it all up: Ewwwwwww ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/52 "2004-08-03T19:08:37Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Speaking of phones (there’s a blue princess phone on the toilet tank, and one of the shower doors is mirrored - so you can watch yourself poop while you talk on the phone!!), in the basement on the dryer is a pink rotary dial phone. And authentic old pink dial phone. In the center where you used to have the phone number is a photo of a dog. > > The phone works, tho! Whatever you do, keep that pink phone. Or if you don’t want it, sell it to me. I am serious. Your house reminds me of those little old women you see standing tall, back straight and clear eyes and determined walk who are dressed in every sparkly thing they own with bright pink lipstick wearing a pink straw hat-with ribbons and a pin and a feather or two and good sturdy sensible shoes. The foundation is strong, all the parts are in perfect working order but the ornamentation is off the hook. I envy you. Honestly. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/53 "2004-08-03T19:11:20Z")
I like the green formica countertops. It was hard to tell what kind of shape it was in, but in the right kitchen, that can still work. We redid our kitchen a couple years ago, and went with a solid dark formica (didn’t like corian. can’t afford stone) that looks real nice. Other than that. . .wow! Just wow! It doesn’t amaze me so much that those things were in fashion, but rather that the person kept them in their house for so long after they went out of fashion. The cast iron pans look nice. See if they’re griswolds. ---
**Author:** ![indecisive1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/41988e/32.png) [@indecisive1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/indecisive1)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/54 "2004-08-03T20:08:06Z")
I’d call that a house with good bone structure! Is that a walk-out basement? I thought I noticed sliding doors in the photo. with a fireplace too? Looks like man heaven to me. I’d leave the ceiling joist thingies mostly exposed. (Oh, and a guy just can’t have too many refrigerators). And they should have exterior beer-tap handles, I’m told. You really must keep those blue cherubs, maybe even the purple paint in the closet. Heck, put the cherubs up in the closet. You could move some of blue swirly mirror tiles in there too! You’ll want to save something to remind you of all the progress you’ve made. Good luck to you! I think you’ll have a great time with your remodel. You’re situation reminds me a bit of something my mom says: “it’s fun to clean a dirty house, because you can really tell where you’ve been.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/55 "2004-08-03T20:14:26Z")
> [@Bumbazine](#): > > The house has good bones and the yard is great. **Bumb** , that’s exactly what we thought. It was about the size we wanted with the basic features we wanted. We knew immediately we’d change the kitchen - fercryinoutloud, it doesn’t have a dishwasher or an icemaker!!! :eek: So we get the best of both worlds - we’ve got a house already, but we can do some construction to fix it up. YAY! **Mermaid** , I will keep the pink phone, if only to brag that I have a working rotary dial phone. The pink is a bonus! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/56 "2004-08-03T20:16:59Z")
> [@indecisive1](#): > > Is that a walk-out basement? I thought I noticed sliding doors in the photo. Yep - the basement is a walk-out. It couldn’t be a good workshop if it wasn’t! We’re going to insulate between the joists, tho - otherwise, I’m subjected to too much noise, like right now - I can hear exactly what he has on the radio, and I can tell you exactly which power tool is on by the sound. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/57 "2004-08-03T23:30:51Z")
Oh. My. Oh. My. Oh. My. Gawd. I have to download some of this for “The Sims” 😃 What’n the heck is that around the wall sockets in the 'blue-veined mirror room"? Bull’s-eyes so you can find the wall plugs? Is that one of those singing bird clocks? Nice (I used to have one at work [obviously!]), but I’ve never seen one placed at hip level. Did a small child go berserk with Sharpies on the bathroom vanity? Yeek! Blue cherubs! (Syroco? - they look familiar.) Are they naturally like that, or another case of 'let’s improve the gilded lily"? Love the lone flower pasted in the middle of the blank wall in the Master Bath 2. What a cute windmill! And a faux-Tudor shed! Didn’t someone here post a website of a hotel (somewhere in California, I think), also suffering from _hideous decor-itis_? Just for the heck of it, I’d send a video to one of those home makover shows along with a hidden camera, just to capture their reaction. And the retching. Interesting. Definitely interesting. Have lots of fun! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/58 "2004-08-03T23:46:14Z")
> [@screech-owl](#): > > Is that one of those singing bird clocks? Nice (I used to have one at work [obviously!]), but I’ve never seen one placed at hip level. It _was_ one of those singing bird clocks, until I removed the singing batteries. I don’t think it’s at hip level - I think it’s at recliner level… It’ll soon be at yard sale level. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/59 "2004-08-03T23:47:03Z")
**FCM** I’m glad you’re keeping the pink rotary phone. It’s so kitschy (ok whatever)! I think you need to hold on to the blue cherubs also. They’re just too much! You should figure out some way to put em in say the den/family room when you redo it. You owe it to people to give em something to talk about when they leave your house. 😃 My first house had orange/yellow shag carpet in the living room and all three bedrooms. It had those wooden valence things and paneling in every room including the kitchen. :eek: Oh yes and the requisite green formica counter tops. One of the bathrooms had pink tiles with a black tile border. The floor was black linoleum with little flecks of pink in it. The tub, toilet and sink were pink. The master bath was better. It had aqua tiles with a black tile border. The tub, toilet and sink were aqua. There was also a mirror that ran the length of one wall with a vanity underneath it. The vanity was so huge there were four wrought iron aqua colored chairs sitting beneath it. It looked like a drag queen dressing room. Oh, and last but not least, a row of very bright flourescent lights above the mirror. :eek: The plus to this house was it’s price and all the huge rooms. Wonderfully huge rooms. Also a wonderful yard a lot like yours. I replaced the carpet and the hideous white linoleum in the kitchen with little green and gold specks and that was all I did essentially. I only owned it for two years and then moved down to lovely south Jawja where I built the swampcave. Just thought I’d let you know I’d been there done that myself. If I had stayed in Columbus, GA I would still be in the house but it would, of course, by now, be f-_aaaaaa_-bu-lous, just like the swampcave. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2004, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126/60 "2004-08-03T23:50:49Z")
My…you DO have your work cut out for you. However, like you, I can see the possibilities. I, on the other hand, wouldn’t have the time, money or patience for what you are about to undertake. Your lot is absolutely wonderful. I can picture sitting out there enjoying a nice cold one. It’s seems very peaceful. You have a wide variety of options for outside…the first of which is to get rid of the kitsch. I have just NEVER understood that, but that’s just me and my ever so humble opinion. I can picture a lovely flagstone patio with irish moss or some other such plant in the cracks or even a nice deck off the back. Decks just require a lot more upkeep than stone, though. Good luck and keep us posted on the progress. I can’t wait to see the whole makeover. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-awaited-ugly-house-photos/258126.md?page=4)