# The Long Goodbye - Mom is Dying **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 11, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300 "2009-02-11T00:31:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/41 "2009-02-16T21:45:06Z")
Broomstick can’t get here right now and asked that this be posted for her. > [@](#): > > Mom’s time is growing shorter. She has so wasted away that if I make a circle of my thumb and forefinger it’s almost enough to go around her thigh. She can no longer turn over without assistance. She no longer eats. She takes only a few sips of water a day. > > Dad is torn between not wanting her to die, and even less wanting to see her suffer. He was initially hostile towards hospice, but now he is a big believer in it. It is so much more humane for the patient and even the family than a hospital is. Mom is in her own home, with her own family, and her needs and wants set the schedule, not someone else. > > Mom seldom speaks coherently anymore. There is little left to do for her other than to hold her hand, and talk to her when she is awake. It is both frightening and humbling to hold the hand of a dying loved one and know that this is the last and one of the most improtant gifts you can give another human being. > > I know medications can be abused and cause great destruction, but here and now the opium poppy is a great and wonderful gift. The morphine takes mom’s pain away, she only needs a little bit. We have something for her anxiety and fear as well. These are not to drug her into stupor (though yes, they do make her sleep even more than she would otherwise) but take the fear and pain away so when she is awake it does not distract her and she can look at us and squeeze our hands when we take one of hers. > > My sister the doctor says perhaps three days, but with her heart problems it may well be less. Any time now, really. When she dies we make one phone call and the formalities will be taken care of by the hospice so we will not be burdened with them at that time. We will be with each other, and there will be volunteers and counselors for us should we feel the need for them. Not only will mom be taken care of, but we will be, too. ---
**Author:** ![criminey.jicket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@criminey.jicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminey.jicket)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/42 "2009-02-16T21:54:34Z")
I’m so sorry. I’ve lost my own mom to cancer. Her slow fading away was more difficult than losing my dad to a sudden heart attack. You and your family are in my thoughts. ETA: _Thank you GusNSpot for the update._ ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2009, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/43 "2009-02-16T21:55:55Z")
Thanks, **Gus** - you’re a mensch. Oh my dear, please take care. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2009, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/44 "2009-02-17T00:09:45Z")
You and your family are in my prayers. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/45 "2009-02-20T02:33:07Z")
**Broomstick** posted this today- > [@](#): > > Mom died 8:30 pm Eastern ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/46 "2009-02-20T02:43:40Z")
I am so sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/47 "2009-02-20T02:47:15Z")
My condolences, **Broomstick** and family. You have my heartfelt wishes for comfort and healing. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/48 "2009-02-20T02:50:01Z")
Speaking from personal experience, it will be ok. It will take a long time, but it will be ok. ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/49 "2009-02-20T02:52:06Z")
**Broomstick,** I’m so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![janis\_and\_c0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/janis_and_c0/32/21_2.png) [@janis\_and\_c0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/janis_and_c0)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/50 "2009-02-20T05:48:41Z")
My Condolences. I hope her passing was peaceful. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/51 "2009-02-20T11:43:20Z")
**Broomstick** , may whatever gods there be, be with you and your family during this difficult time. You are in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/52 "2009-02-20T12:05:19Z")
You have my condolences also. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/53 "2009-02-20T12:15:48Z")
My condolences to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/54 "2009-02-20T12:27:40Z")
I’m sorry for your loss, I hope you and your famly are bearing up well. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/55 "2009-02-20T17:12:21Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/56 "2009-02-20T18:57:56Z")
RIP Be well Broomstick. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Composer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Composer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Composer)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/57 "2009-02-20T19:16:04Z")
Sorry for your loss, **Broomstick**. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/58 "2009-02-20T22:37:18Z")
**Broomstick** , I’m sorry for you troubles. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/59 "2009-02-20T23:24:40Z")
I’m so sorry. I’m happy she knew you were there and could feel you holding her hand, but I can’t imagine the pain of losing a mom you loved. Peace to you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![criminey.jicket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@criminey.jicket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminey.jicket)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300/60 "2009-02-20T23:51:33Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss, **Broomstick**. I’ll keep you in my thoughts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-long-goodbye-mom-is-dying/485300.md?page=4)