# The "Look"-how common? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2008, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770 "2008-02-08T04:44:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/1 "2008-02-08T04:44:26Z")
No, not the one when you are in trouble… I’ve been married for almost 15 years now. If I give my husband the ‘sex’ look, I can stop him mid-sentence, and make him lose his train of thought. If I work at it, I can get him hard just by thinking about it. I’ve been able to do this with every man I’ve slept with, and it doesn’t seem that unusual to me, seems like second nature. I’ve just taken it for granted that that’s how men and women interact. But, like the thread about oral sex, I am always amazed at how different people are, especially when it comes to sex. So, as a man: A)Have you received the ‘Look’? B) Do women you’re involved with give these looks to you often? In general? C) Are the looks effective at causing your brain to melt? As a woman: Do you give the look? Does it work? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/2 "2008-02-08T04:50:47Z")
I’m sorry what is this thread about? ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/3 "2008-02-08T05:20:55Z")
The only “look” around my house is when one of us smells a fart. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/4 "2008-02-08T05:49:03Z")
I require a seminar on this Look. I would like to employ it. Please to elucidate. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/5 "2008-02-08T06:45:48Z")
My Darling Marcie gives me ‘The Look’ from time to time but its meaning is situational. Errors made in interpreting ‘The Look’ are hazardous to my health. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/6 "2008-02-08T07:12:52Z")
I’m terrible at reading body language. I’ve never recognized anything like such a look. Or maybe I’ve just never been given one, but even if I had, I probably wouldn’t have recognized it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/7 "2008-02-08T07:17:03Z")
I’ve never seen this “look.” My wife pretty much has to hit me in the head with a bat. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/8 "2008-02-08T07:51:22Z")
[_This_ look?](http://www.cafepress.com/girlgenius.85789596) ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/9 "2008-02-08T08:39:48Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] My wife pretty much has to hit me in the head with a bat. [/QUOTE] Huh? She needs to do this to get sex? You’re married to a caveman. ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/10 "2008-02-08T08:50:45Z")
I’m with **Chronos** on this. When I was a young lad out on the town, I had a horrible tendency to only figure out that I had got the green light much too late. Which was particularly cruel, because if I had _never_ known, I could have lived on happily oblivious, but knowing only in hindsight and not getting the benefit was just excruciating. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/11 "2008-02-08T09:52:23Z")
[QUOTE=Noel Prosequi] I’m with **Chronos** on this. When I was a young lad out on the town, I had a horrible tendency to only figure out that I had got the green light much too late. Which was particularly cruel, because if I had _never_ known, I could have lived on happily oblivious, but knowing only in hindsight and not getting the benefit was just excruciating. [/QUOTE] Me too. Sometimes, years later I’d wake up in the night and go :smack: “Oh shit! She was giving me the look!” It gets worse though: this lack of perception extended, in one case, to a girl actually taking my hand and nuzzling into me while we were walking down the street - I assumed (because I clearly have serious self-perception issues) that she was just cold. Later in the evening she literally had to jump on me and stick her tongue down my throat to get me to make any kind of move. The last time I actually knew it was “the look” at the time that it was happening was in my last job, from one of my direct reports, and I was married, so naturally I didn’t do anything about it - also it was so freakin’ obvious that I was a little bit embarrassed for her. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/12 "2008-02-08T11:10:33Z")
Yes, the look melts my brain, and I hate myself afterward for how powerless and weak I am. I get no choice in when we have sex, and it bugs the hell out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Mood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@Blue\_Mood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Mood)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/13 "2008-02-08T11:14:35Z")
[QUOTE=fisha] If I give my husband the ‘sex’ look, I can stop him mid-sentence, and make him lose his train of thought. [/QUOTE] My husband doesn’t pick up on my look, but he can have this effect on me. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/14 "2008-02-08T11:18:04Z")
I’m a man; I’ve given the “Look” more than I’ve received it. Some women are clueless, others are very attuned. Sadly, nothing makes my brain melt. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/15 "2008-02-08T12:41:13Z")
**Chronos** took my answer. Apparently this is a common problem, and we’ve been lucky to mate and reproduce. Fortunately, Pepper Mill can overcome my obliviousness to subtle cues by using more obvious indicators when she’s in the mood, such as pushing my face into her cleavage. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/16 "2008-02-08T13:21:09Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] such as pushing my face into her cleavage. [/QUOTE] I must try that one on 'im indoors. Something’s got to work before I resort to walloping him round the chops with the wet fish. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/17 "2008-02-08T13:28:57Z")
I our house we say, “_Honey…your looking at me like a piece of meat_” That sort of grimaced grin I’m going to eat you for supper look. And yes, it’s very nice. I’ve had times where I can’t take a cue, but they are rare - Heck I’m usually the one looking for the cue. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/18 "2008-02-08T13:30:36Z")
The “look”? Are you talking about biting your lower lip, while staring at his body, with a little twinkle in your eye, and a mischevious grin on your face? Yeah, I’ve gotten that look. It’s been a while, but it’s something I remember fondly. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/19 "2008-02-08T13:38:18Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] Yes, the look melts my brain, and I hate myself afterward for how powerless and weak I am. I get no choice in when we have sex, and it bugs the hell out of me. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but you get sex all the time, so be quiet and get busy. For all you posters that have no idea of what I am talking about, how do you know when to have sex? ETA- **AtomikTom** , yeah, I think it’s the twinkle and the grin. Most women don’t do this? ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770/20 "2008-02-08T13:54:56Z")
> [@](#): > > For all you posters that have no idea of what I am talking about, how do you know when to have sex? That’s easy. I know when to have sex when I can’t see, I have trouble breathing, and there are two soft masses pressing on my face. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-look-how-common/436770.md?page=2)