# The Loser's Handbook **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 17, 2001, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131 "2001-09-17T11:51:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![dietrologia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4491bb/32.png) [@dietrologia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dietrologia)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/61 "2001-09-20T23:34:35Z")
Use of the following terms gets your argument immediately shitcanned in my book: - **society** - “It’s society’s fault!” - **Nazi Germany** - as in “That’s the kind of thinking straight out of Nazi Germany!” - **apples & oranges** - **You’re lucky that you even…** - as in “You’re lucky you even _had_ a car to crash and break your neck in!” - **pot calling kettle black** ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/62 "2001-09-21T13:00:44Z")
_Declaration of Premature Victory_: Loser: “I win. Debate over!” Teeming Millions: "Erm…no. You don’t. You haven’t answered a single point and your last post had two dozen factual errors in the first sent… Loser: “Doesn’t matter. I win. You Lose.” Teeming Millions: “But…what about…?” Loser: “LALALALA! I CAN’T HEAR YOU 'CAUSE I’M SINGING THE “I WIN” SONG! LALALALALA!” Fenris ---
**Author:** ![nerv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/85e7bf/32.png) [@nerv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nerv)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/63 "2001-09-21T14:04:56Z")
_I Laugh at you, therefore I win_ LOL! You just don’t get it, do you? There’s no point in arguing further. ---
**Author:** ![Jonny\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9f8e36/32.png) [@Jonny\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonny_T)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/64 "2001-09-21T14:49:13Z")
This is, of course, all academic, as there are only three viable forms of Internet rhetoric: a. You disagree with me and you said so, so you’re trying to censor me, therefore you are a Nazi. b. I am standing up for a right and you disagree with me, so you are anti-rights, and therefore a Nazi. c. I am an agreeable person and you are disagreeing with me, so you are a disagreeable person with the personality of Hitler and therefore a Nazi. Jonny T, not a Nazi. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/65 "2001-09-21T16:21:52Z")
**The schizophrenic man of straw** – _or, supernatural ventriloquism_ delusional character: “I’m offended! He just said that all Christians are bottom feeding invertebrates.” surprised target: “Um, no I didn’t.” delusional character: “See! He said it again.” **Vivisection by vB code** – The act of parsing your opponents comments down into individual sentences, or better yet _parts_ of sentences and making snide comments, or simply ignoring the fact that you have destroyed all context. > [@](#): > > Well, the other… The other what? Cite? > [@](#): > > …day I ran… Ran where? How fast? Cite please. > [@](#): > > …into an old friend Friend of whom? Why are you not making sense? ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/66 "2001-09-21T17:03:01Z")
Mr. “I’m not familiar with opinions”. Example: poster: “Bah, the new REM albums sucks.” Mr. INFWO: “That’s YOUR opinion. I like it.” Well, duh that’s my opinion. Pretty much everything I say, or anyone else says, is their opinion, unless they claim otherwise. At least, I always assumed that whatever fool things come out of my mouth or fingers were just my opinion, and make no unstated claims otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/67 "2001-09-21T17:15:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > **Vivisection by vB code – The act of parsing your opponents comments down into individual sentences, or better yet _parts_ of sentences and making snide comments, or simply ignoring the fact that you have destroyed all context** Bwahhaha! I thought of this one, but couldn’t figure out a good way to say it. :: applauds :: Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/68 "2001-09-22T01:56:04Z")
**The Spelling Flame, last refuge of the defeated** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*It has as it’s correlary: > \*\* Obviously you don’t know what you’re talking about; you can’t even spell corollary! ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131/69 "2001-09-22T03:45:11Z")
> [@](#): > > The Spelling Flame, last refuge of the defeated > > ## quote: > > Originally posted by Fenris > It has as it’s correlary: > > * * * > > Obviously you don’t know what you’re talking about; you can’t even spell corollary! The punctuation fairy creeps in very quietly and says: “It’s **its** ,” and then runs like hell before someone calls her a loser, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-losers-handbook/82131.md?page=3)