# The Lumberjack Song! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459 "2002-10-16T04:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hattrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@Hattrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hattrick)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/61 "2002-10-21T15:10:40Z")
Clerk: A what? Cleese: A licence for my pet fish, Eric. Clerk: How did you know my name was Eric? Cleese: No, no, no! My fish’s name is Eric. Eric fish. He’s an halibut. ---
**Author:** ![Marine\_One](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marine_one/32/3461_2.png) [@Marine\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marine_One)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2002, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/62 "2002-10-21T15:24:50Z")
“Your father was a hamster and your mother smelled of elderberries!” ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/63 "2002-10-24T04:01:57Z")
“Yes, I’d like to have an argument…” “Look, I’ve told you before!” “No you didn’t!” “Yes I did.” "No you _didn’t!"_ _“Yes I did!”_ “NO I DIDN"T!!!” **ding!** “I’m sorry, this session’s time limit is up.” ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/64 "2002-10-24T04:14:45Z")
He sleeps all night and he works all day. [sub]It’s only a model.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/65 "2002-10-24T07:40:59Z")
IIIIIIIIIIIImanuel Kant was a real pissant, 'oo was very rarely stable… ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/66 "2002-10-24T10:46:55Z")
Heidegger Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table… ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/67 "2002-10-24T11:28:27Z")
David Hume could outconsume Schopenhauer and Hegel… ---
**Author:** ![LumberJack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/82dd89/32.png) [@LumberJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LumberJack)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/68 "2002-10-24T13:03:30Z")
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel. (–BTW — I’m OK) ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/69 "2002-10-25T00:52:27Z")
There’s nothing Neitzsche couldn’t teach ya 'Bout the bending of the wrist… Socrates himself was perrrrrmanently piiiiiiissssed… ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/70 "2002-10-25T05:52:40Z")
René Descartes was a drunken old fart “I drink, therefore I am”… I confess! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/71 "2002-10-25T06:02:04Z")
Well, what’s on the telly? Looks like a penguin. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/72 "2002-10-25T06:50:06Z")
I-body must ask-body that no-body leave the room-body! ---
**Author:** ![emolson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5fc32e/32.png) [@emolson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emolson)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/73 "2002-10-25T06:50:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LurkMeister \* > \*\*I cut down trees. I wear high heels, > Suspendies, and a bra. > I wish I’d been a girlie, > Just like my dear Papa. \*\* I don’t have the script at hand (which could differ, anyway), but it sounds to me like “Ma® Ma®”. Anybody got Palin’s email address? p.s. Laugh out loud thread! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/74 "2002-10-25T13:58:15Z")
You know, one day, my-- my mother, she put me on her knee and she said to me, ‘Gaston, my son, the world is a beautiful place. You must go into it and… love everyone, try to make everyone happy, and bring peace and contentment everywhere you go,’ and so, I became a waiter. Well, it’s-- it’s not much of a philosophy, I know,… but, well,… fuck you. I can live my own life in my own way if I want to! Fuck off! ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/75 "2002-10-25T16:42:35Z")
“I FART in your general direction!” ---
**Author:** ![emulsified](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emulsified/32/2915_2.png) [@emulsified](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emulsified)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/76 "2002-10-25T20:00:23Z")
No, well we don’t have “Rarnaby Budge” by Charles Dikkens with two Ks, the well-known Dutch author, and perhaps to save time I should add that we don’t have “Karnaby Fudge” by Darles Chickens, or “Farmer of Sludge” by Marles Pickens, or even “Stickwick Stapers” by Farles Wickens with four M’s and a silent Q!!! Why don’t you try W. H. Smith’s? ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2002, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/77 "2002-10-25T23:34:32Z")
Never be rude to an Arab, An Isreali, or Saudi, or Jew. Never be rude to an Irishman, No matter what you do. Never poke fun at a Nigger, A Spic, or a Wop, or Kraut. And never poke fun at at… _KABOOM_ ---
**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/78 "2002-10-26T00:00:28Z")
_**Cause Every Sperm is Sacreeeeed Every Sperm is Great And…**_ ---
**Author:** ![Wearia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Wearia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wearia)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/79 "2002-10-26T03:59:30Z")
## Voice Over : This man is Ernest Scribbler… writer of jokes. In a few moments, he win have written the funniest joke in the world… and, as a consequence, he will die … laughing. Voice Over: It was a fantastic success. Over sixty thousand times as powerful as Britain’s great pre-war joke and one which Hitler just couldn’t match. Hitler: ‘MY DOG’S GOT NO NOSE’ Young soldier: HOW DOES HE SMELL? Hitler: AWFUL’ ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Straight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dec6dc/32.png) [@Enola\_Straight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Straight)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2002, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459/80 "2002-10-26T06:30:31Z")
A peanut was walking in the bad part of town when suddenly he was assaulted… …peanut. :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-lumberjack-song/132459.md?page=5)