# The Magic Key (or Colibri's Bad Day) **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [April 12, 2010, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889 "2010-04-12T22:22:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SoulFrost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f07891/32.png) [@SoulFrost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoulFrost)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/41 "2010-04-13T02:44:04Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Of course Marley you also think that I threatened you and attempted to keep you from doing your job so I’m not sure your perspective on this is really clear. I agree 100%. That was a terrible ruling. But I have to tell you, **Sleeps** , if you _can_ let it go, you _should_ let it go. Holding on to it isn’t doing you any good, and it isn’t doing **Marley** any harm. Take it from an old pro at grudge-holding and payback–just let it go. Enjoy the board. Have fun the way you used to. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/42 "2010-04-13T02:47:01Z")
> [@Jeff](#): > > ETA: Shit he beat me to it. Be a good man and retract hers too pl0x. No, that one stands. That was clearly intended as a personal attack against **tomndebb** , and was jerkish. **Sleeps With Butterflies** put words in his mouth, and her comments were deliberately inflammatory. The entire point of moving discussion of moderator actions from the Pit was to allow an atmosphere in which they can be discussed civilly. Posts like **Sleeps With Butterflies** are counterproductive to that purpose. ---
**Author:** ![ajb867](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f14d63/32.png) [@ajb867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ajb867)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/43 "2010-04-13T02:47:36Z")
Holding a grudge is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/44 "2010-04-13T02:48:03Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > What history is that? I’ve been on this board for a few years without any warnings until Marley got his feelers hurt because I thanked him for the lulz. I fully accept the first warning in the thread about the girl from Precious. I reported my own post. The [outright lie](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12261953&postcount=268) that I took the warning badly was completely from the imagination of the mod. > > I laughed at Marley so he considered THAT enough to give me a “don’t be a jerk warning.” Before that day I had zero warnings. What history are you referring to that should give them some kind of reason to have a short fuse with me? Because I have criticized some of their decisions in the past? I’ve also participated in threads were mods were praised. I’d say it’s your (admittedly recent) history of posts like this that show you just. can’t. let. it. go. And not only can’t you let it go, you have to remind everyone constantly, with great vigor and detail in every single thread. Advice: Stop poking the bear(s). ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/45 "2010-04-13T02:56:33Z")
It seems to me that where the “fucking” is concerned, we’re back to something I mentioned in another thread. Humans or not, when speaking in an official mod capacity, direct and professional language should be used. Be clear, be concise, be polite, be adult. Say your piece, don’t make it personal (since the turn-around would net a regular user a warning, clearly) don’t editorialize and be done with it. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/46 "2010-04-13T03:14:02Z")
I get what you (the collective you) are saying about letting it go. I have mentioned it a few times in ATMB because I think it’s relevant to the reliability and honesty of the mod in question. It’s a sad situation when such a small amount of authority can go to one’s head, but that’s the way it is. **SoulFrost** , I appreciate you mentioning my warning in your OP but unlike **Jeff** (whose warning was way, way over the top) I wasn’t looking to have mine overturned. It’s a good example of how it all depends on who you are as to what warnings are given to you here. I’ve seen several posts in this forum in the last few days that are far more hostile and pointed than mine was, but they are from those who take the mod side of things. I’m not naive enough to believe that a ruling is ever going to go my way again. I swear though, when I surf away from this board to another part of the internet it is completely forgotten. This place isn’t real life to me so to let it enter into a space in my head where an actual grudge would be is not possible. I know it doesn’t _seem_ like it because tone is hard to judge when all we have are written words to go by, but I’m more amused than angry about the situation with Marley. I can’t imagine having to stretch the truth over something so silly as a heated discussion on a messageboard, nor can I imagine having to use my ability to give warnings to make my points for me. It does, however, amuse me to no end that there are those who do. So, I shall take your fine advice and say no more on the subject while on this board. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/47 "2010-04-13T03:18:37Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > So, I shall take your fine advice and say no more on the subject while on this board. 😉 Sure. When will you start? 😛 Sleeps. Not trying to provoke you. Just late night humor. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/48 "2010-04-13T03:45:51Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Sure. When will you start? 😛 > > Sleeps. Not trying to provoke you. Just late night humor. Sorry. RAEG! You are my sworn enemy! ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/49 "2010-04-13T19:18:30Z")
**samclem** said: > [@](#): > > Jeff–since the OP is really about Colibri’s moderation, why don’t we just leave out remarks like this. This 100%. We have posters who complain that about _any_ complaint about moderation there are a rash of posters jumping in to come to their defense. The problem is with any complaint we have a rash of posters coming in to bring up _every other complaint that’s ever been made_. **Nobody** can keep to the issue at hand. (And now I’ve just repeated the process. _Sigh_ We can’t win.) Let’s try something new: Let’s _not_ start threads with titles “Moderator X screws up yet again”. Let’s _not_ get into the game of playing who loves the moderators and who hates the moderators. Instead, let us address each issue individually and try to keep a civil discussion, since we’re in ATMB. **tumbleddown** said: > [@](#): > > It seems to me that where the “fucking” is concerned, we’re back to something I mentioned in another thread. Humans or not, when speaking in an official mod capacity, direct and professional language should be used. Be clear, be concise, be polite, be adult. Say your piece, don’t make it personal (since the turn-around would net a regular user a warning, clearly) don’t editorialize and be done with it. Absolutely. Some of the moderators here are responding like “the good old days”. They remember the times when moderators would slam people in the mod actions and everybody had a good laugh. The problem is that the rules have changed around here. Enforcement has tightened on posters, the “Don’t be a jerk” rule is more stringently enforced. Well, incumbent upon that attitude is the corresponding responsibility that the moderators be 100% compliant. The moderators need to be sure they are not adding fuel to the fire. No snark in official comments. Explanations and instructions need to be direct and explicit, not vague. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/50 "2010-04-14T02:43:15Z")
> [@ajb867](#): > > Holding a grudge is like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. That’s some good wise words there. I’ll have to keep it in mind. Thanks for dropping some knowledge there. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/51 "2010-04-14T03:22:07Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > This 100%. We have posters who complain that about _any_ complaint about moderation there are a rash of posters jumping in to come to their defense. The problem is with any complaint we have a rash of posters coming in to bring up _every other complaint that’s ever been made_. **Nobody** can keep to the issue at hand. (And now I’ve just repeated the process. _Sigh_ We can’t win.) > > Let’s try something new: Let’s _not_ start threads with titles “Moderator X screws up yet again”. Let’s _not_ get into the game of playing who loves the moderators and who hates the moderators. Instead, let us address each issue individually and try to keep a civil discussion, since we’re in ATMB. Excellent points. We’ve actually had some discussion of this on the mod loop. Unfortunately there is a tendency for complaints about specific moderator actions in ATMB to branch out into side issues and sometimes develop into a general melee. The main purpose of having complaints in ATMB is to allow them to be discussed in a civil fashion and hopefully resolved. When all kinds of other issues are dragged in, it interferes with this objective. This isn’t to say that threads on more general concerns wouldn’t be allowed - there are a couple of active ones now - just that it would be better if individual threads remain focussed on specific issues. > [@SoulFrost](#): > > It _really is_ magic! Actually, I would like to thank you for starting this thread, and most particularly for addressing the issue in a civil manner. I had been considering reversing the warning to **Jeff** previously; by making a straightforward request, this thread facilitated doing so. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/52 "2010-04-14T09:53:18Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > This is not helping. This is a forum for discussing moderation and the rules here, not taking shots at people who have a different opinion on a ruling. Please stay on topic. This is the kind of moderation that although it is not fun for anyone, it is absolutely necessary to keep ATMB working in a civil and useful manner. On the good side, it should only be necessary for a short time while people get used to the new face of ATMB. The problem being that this is the type of behavior that needs to be nipped on the bud. If the sniping is left to happen for too long then there is no stopping it. Maybe if ALL mods made themselves ATMB mods. Not in that they have to answer on sdmb policy but just keeping an eye on the level of conversation. The only idea being that ATMB is being continually policed for bad tone. And maybe if the mods agreed to keep it super duper low key on ATMB since this is where tempers tend to flare the quickest. Again, see Marley’s post (don’t worry, Marley, I can catch up with hating you if this is troubling you). It has three parts, the problem, what is desired, and a polite request to comply. Bingo. Zero tolerance with velvet gloves, if you will. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889/53 "2010-04-14T10:32:21Z")
And responding to tomndeb from the Bad Precedent thread which was untimely closed (although I was absent anyways for reasons of my own): > [@](#): > > The problem, there, is that we are a small group, as you note, which means that we wind up taking shit from a much larger group. If we were to back off, there is no indication that the complainers will behave any more civilly unless they come under pressure from their peers to dial it back, so taking the high road begins to look to some staffers like painting targets on their foreheads. True, but only for a while. I don’t know if it will take a week or a month but I am sure that after some time of seeing you on the high road, observers might start taking a dimmer view of the complainers. Which would lead to: > [@](#): > > Seeing some actual support from the TM would go a way toward getting notion that we are only here for the abuse out of the way. Of course, that’s the famous third faction that can make or break the whole thing. If every time someone voices a complaint, just or not, the psychophants (if you pardon my own made up word) rush the scene saying “oh, it had to be you” then there goes the good will. Alas, the solution to that is moderating them. I know it is not fun having to moderate someone who is taking your side but it pays out on the long term. Supporting moderator actions and attacking someone who complains are not the same thing. > [@](#): > > …On the other hand, when the complainers begin dragging up unrelated incidents and ancient history in every challenge thread, it would be nice to see a few posters telling them to stop the hijack… This cuts both ways. If someone’s complaint is judged not in its own but on that person’s past, then it is not surprising if they then bring up the past of the moderators to light. If you want to stop the malcontents to stop dragging ancient history, it cannot be with the argument of “shut up, you malcontent. You are always doing this”. > [@](#): > > … (because you know darned well that if a staff member tells them to stay on topic, there will immediately be cries of "Come and see the violence inherent in the system. ") That is true but I think would rather see a measured response from a mod than an over the top reaction from a vigilante. Having a third party jump in like that sounds too much like junior modding. Again, I appreciate your point that popular support would be welcome but I think that nodding from the sidelines would be better than spontaneous plastic badge flashings. > [@](#): > > Sapo wants the Mods to back off the hostility, but I see several of you taking offense where none has been offered, even taking jabs at me for things I have not said when I have been civil in all my exchanges. If we’re going to be punished even when we are being civil, we probably have less incentive to be civil more often. I want both sides to back off the hostility, I am just saying that there is a better chance to see the first step come from the moderators’ side since you are better able to organize yourselves. Don’t see it as punished when being civil. Take it as the price of progress. I do believe that after some time of sticking to doing the right thing, you will see the support you want. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-magic-key-or-colibris-bad-day/535889.md?page=2)