# The Malaprop Thread! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 15, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181 "2007-05-15T14:30:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/1 "2007-05-15T14:30:57Z")
Oh the English Language… it’s such a fun thing. It’s been a while since this has been done. What [malapropisms](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malapropism) have you experienced in real life? I can think of three off the top of my head. 1. Last night I was talking to a lady that said she could see the _biblical_ cord on a sonogram. 2. My dad had a friend who was “injured” on the job, and after going to court he was able to receive his pay _radioactively_. 3. While driving with a friend of mine, we were looking for a specific address and he quipped “Keep your eyes _pierced_, it’s around here somewhere”. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/2 "2007-05-15T14:37:17Z")
My elderly neighbor suffers from a painful condition she calls the _gouch_. I knew a guy who, when it came to owning up to faults, he had no problem. He’d say, “I always _omit_ mine.” ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/3 "2007-05-15T14:43:42Z")
Well, there was the time when my mother thanked me for my advice (which she had asked for.) “I can always count on you to be _objectionable_.” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/4 "2007-05-15T15:00:29Z")
Girls were often afraid I would get the _wrong ideal._ ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/5 "2007-05-15T15:12:13Z")
I once had a neighbor who claimed to have a “congenial heart defect.” ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/6 "2007-05-15T15:15:24Z")
I had a student once who wrote a paper that included the line “Sir Gawain is modest and humble to the point of self-defecation.” ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/7 "2007-05-15T16:56:04Z")
The only thing I can think of right off needs explanation (I suspect) but I’ll try it without the explanation to see if it really qualifies. A work-buddy I used to play chess with would find an occasion in almost every game of referring to one of my moves in a disparaging way. He’d say, “That’s not _cultured_.” What word do you think he thought he was saying? ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/8 "2007-05-15T17:02:21Z")
I was watching **“My Big Fat Greek Wedding”** where one of the women was saying she needed to go get a mole checked out and the doctor decided to do a \* Beebobsey\* on it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/9 "2007-05-15T17:22:57Z")
I worked at a company where one of the higher-muckitys claimed the company had “made a conscience decision” to do something. Probably had something to do with the layoffs we were going through. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/10 "2007-05-15T17:27:46Z")
My dad was a minister and a fisherman and I’ll never forget the Sunday where he told a long anecdote in his sermon about a trip where they caught something really big and had trouble landing it. Whatever it was was so heavy that it required “three men and a wench” to get it into the boat. This was repeated several times. Half the congregation was practically in tears trying not to lose it. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/11 "2007-05-15T17:28:39Z")
My friends dad likes to say ‘prior before’. Like, he drives a truck now, but prior before that, he drove a Mustang. A neighbor was pissed that his daughter got in trouble in school for missing class too many times (she is around 12). He received a letter explaining how the school was wokring aggressively to thwart juvenile delinquency. He walked around pissed, venting outside and to me, telling me and a friend that he can’t believe his daughter is a juvenile. “I can’t believe my daughter is a juvenile. I can’t believe my daughter is a juvenile.” ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/12 "2007-05-15T17:46:37Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] The only thing I can think of right off needs explanation (I suspect) but I’ll try it without the explanation to see if it really qualifies. A work-buddy I used to play chess with would find an occasion in almost every game of referring to one of my moves in a disparaging way. He’d say, “That’s not _cultured_.” What word do you think he thought he was saying? [/QUOTE] That’s not kosher? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/13 "2007-05-15T17:57:18Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] What word do you think he thought he was saying? [/QUOTE] Unrefined, Not the act of a cultured person; not noble, not classy. See TACKY. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/14 "2007-05-15T17:59:02Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] That’s not kosher? [/QUOTE] Bingo! I even told him about kosher and he had a puzzled look on his face. He didn’t know much about Jewish things either. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/15 "2007-05-15T18:02:20Z")
[QUOTE=carnivorousplant] Unrefined, Not the act of a cultured person; not noble, not classy. See TACKY. 🙂 [/QUOTE] I never even considered that! Imagine a tacky chess move. Ugly I could understand, but tacky? Offensive? Vile? Horrid? I guess I may have judged him too soon. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/16 "2007-05-15T18:04:13Z")
[QUOTE=Zeldar] Bingo! I even told him about kosher and he had a puzzled look on his face. He didn’t know much about Jewish things either. [/QUOTE] Whatta schmendrick. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/17 "2007-05-15T18:13:41Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Whatta schmendrick. 😉 [/QUOTE] How true. He had other botched expressions, too, but I’m having trouble recalling any as good as the cultured thing. I still believe my favorite is “mute point” which many acquaintances prefer to say, even those who ought to know better. Calling a chart a “graft” rates pretty high, too. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/18 "2007-05-15T18:20:09Z")
A guy told me his friendship with his female boss was strictly plutonic. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/19 "2007-05-15T18:30:27Z")
I still remember when we were teenagers and my sister’s friend Anne was frighteningly naive. We were watching the Smothers Brothers show, and Tommy described how he’d been at this nice wedding, and after the ceremony everyone went up to the conception room. We all laughed – except for Anne, who was sitting there with a puzzled look on her face. My sister asked her, “You _do_ know what ‘conception’ means, don’t you?” Anne thought hard for a moment and then replied, “Is it something you do in church?” ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2007, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181/20 "2007-05-15T19:17:23Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] A guy told me his friendship with his female boss was strictly plutonic. [/QUOTE] They only did it doggy style? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-malaprop-thread/404181.md?page=2)