# The Master Storytellers' Appreciation Thread
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 5, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719 "2004-01-05T00:00:58Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/1 "2004-01-05T00:00:58Z")
Thank you, **Scylla**!
Thank you, **Master Wang-Ka**!
There are many Dopers blessed with a wonderful way with words; many whose posts amuse, educate, enlighten, and entertain us.
But you two, IMHO, are the master storytellers of the SDMB. Whenever you launch us upon one of your narrative voyages, I know the trip will be a delight. Always a pleasure, usually a hoot. I look forward to your next adventures.
_ **THANK YOU!!!** _
P.S. Can anyone provide the links to the ewe and blimp stories? They were before my arrival here, I believe; but I see them spoken of with awe. 🙂
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### Author:  [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/2 "2004-01-05T02:12:45Z")
I agree, **ETF**. Those two have a masterful way of weaving tales that very often leave me rolling in the floor.
I present to you now, one of the two links you requested: **Scylla** ’s [The Horror of Blimps](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=160851&highlight=horror+of+blimps). Enjoy! 😃
I’m not sure what the ‘ewe’ story is, but I look forward to reading it if someone else has a link.
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/3 "2004-01-05T02:23:59Z")
:: guffawing, bellowing and shrieking with laughter ::
:: falling off chair to floor; rolling about convulsed with mirth ::
:: wiping tear-soaked face and taking deep breaths while resolutely NOT thinking about blimps ::
Ahhhhhh… woooooooooooo…
Thank you, **peritrochoid**. Thank you from the bottom of my very much lightened heart.
😃 😃 😃 😃 😃
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### Author:  [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/4 "2004-01-05T02:52:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by EddyTeddyFreddy \*
> \*\*:: guffawing, bellowing and shrieking with laughter ::
>
> :: falling off chair to floor; rolling about convulsed with mirth ::
>
> :: wiping tear-soaked face and taking deep breaths while resolutely NOT thinking about blimps ::
>
> Ahhhhhh… woooooooooooo…
>
> Thank you, **peritrochoid**. Thank you from the bottom of my very much lightened heart.
>
> 😃 😃 😃 😃 😃 \*\*
Ah, yes. I seem to have that effect on people. 😃
What?
Oh … wait … you meant the _story_! 😛
It is definitely a classic. No matter how many times I read it, I always cackle out loud. Garners some funny looks if I’m not alone.
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### Author:  [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/5 "2004-01-05T04:07:04Z")
**Rocky** , honey, you DO have that effect on people. And so, my dear boy, thank you from the bottom of my lightened heart for the many, many occasions when your off the wall posts have made me laugh, and even for forcing me to reassess my definition of the word “art.”
Thanks, also to **Spogga** , **Phlosphr** , and **Eve**. Although, truly, I don’t know how she’s EVER going to top [Jesus Rhinestone Christ With a Ruby Loincloth.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=199861&highlight=Rhinestone+Jesus+with+a+ruby+loincloth)
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/6 "2004-01-05T12:06:48Z")
I can only presume that Scylla must have written something about a ewe.
Worst I ever did was about watermelons…
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/7 "2004-01-05T13:22:39Z")
😃 😃 😃 😃 😃
Ah, the watermelon story… Just the memory evokes a guffaw. “Worst” isn’t the adjective that springs to mind.
There ought to be a book published called “Tales from the Teeming Millions” which would take its rightful place in the “Straight Dope” collection. You and **Scylla** would have your own large sections. Who knows? Perhaps it would sell so well that we could upgrade to Hamster 4.5. Perhaps reviewers would take note of its success; word would spread like electronic wildfire across the Internet of its wit, wisdom, badinage, and lack of run-on sentences; the names of **Master Wang-Ka** and **Scylla** would become household names for enthralling narratives; and the two of you would find yourselves launched upon long, happy careers as bestselling authors.
Hey, it _could_ happen.
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### Author:  [@sperfur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sperfur)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/8 "2004-01-05T20:24:44Z")
[Ewes Sluts](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=83744)
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### Author:  [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/9 "2004-01-05T22:24:35Z")
Thanks. I’m working on a digitally remastered and complete Ewes Sluts, including the recovered “Lost Chapters” from the great Hamster Meltdown of 2001 that occured midway through Ewes Sluts II, Queer Goings on.
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/10 "2004-01-05T22:43:58Z")
Siddhartha Buddha on the fourth chair tuba.
How’d I ever miss THAT one?
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/11 "2004-01-05T22:55:02Z")
Ah! More to look forward to! I read _Ewes Sluts_ to about halfway through page 4 and actually had to get back to work! The nerve of some people. Just because they provide me the office, the computer, the Internet connection for free…
Anyway, do you have links to all your story threads? I’d like to print them out to savor at my leisure.
And about a book… seriously, **Scylla** , books of humorous stories about urbanites’ adventures in Rurality are popular, and a lot of them I’ve encountered aren’t half as entertaining as your stuff. You really should (in between getting peas into Scyllaette and tending to Scyllilla’s needs) pull a manuscript together and find an agent.
I’d buy a book by you. Heck, I’d buy extra copies and give them as Christmas presents. Ditto for **Master Wang-Ka’s** writings.
Which reminds me – **Master W-K** , do you have links for all of your stories handy?
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### Author:  [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/12 "2004-01-05T23:20:32Z")
Anything by Sauron. IIRC most can be found by searching BBQ for “mayfield turtle tracks” [eg. I met the Lowest Common Denominator at Winn-Dixie!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=156156)
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/13 "2004-01-05T23:32:32Z")
Hm.
ALL of 'em?
No.
I’ve yammered so much on the SDMB that I’m amazed more people haven’t told me to shut the hell up… and I’m durned if I could hunt up links for more than a few…
Let’s see…
[The Smell Of An Excited Watermelon](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=195331&highlight=watermelon)
[Sins Of The Farter](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151130&highlight=fart)
[Jehovah’s Witnesses](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=155187&highlight=witness) This thread wasn’t mine, and in retrospect, I kinda hijacked it, now that I think about it. The story’s on page one, about halfway down.
[An Interesting Pub in Mexico](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=201012&highlight=whore)
[The Legendary Waterbed](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=194040&highlight=waterbed)
[That Damn Cat](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=198487&highlight=waterbed)
[Things You Should Not Eat](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151037&highlight=turkey) A Recipe Disasters thread, not mine. I put my two bits in here and there, more than once, as did a great many other people. Fun thread.
[A Turtle bites Bob.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=200002&highlight=turtle)
[A Dog bites Dick. Run, Dick, Run!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=155687&highlight=corky)
[The Beer Hunter.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151131&highlight=deer) One of the first things I ever posted on the SDMB, now that I think about it.
[An Experiment With Grocery Carts](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=151686&highlight=deer)
…and that’s all I can think of, at the moment…
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [January 5, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/14 "2004-01-05T23:36:52Z")
Oh, yeah… and…
[Wang-Ka’s Smile](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=196928&highlight=deer)
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/15 "2004-01-06T01:50:44Z")
Thank you, **Master W-K**! I thank you for the links!
My printer curses you, though, for the marathon printing job it’s just been forced to perform, churning them all out for my leisurely reading. I pointed out that it’s my workhorse B&W printer, and fully capable of bigger jobs. It sulkily informed me that it is a Serious Working Printer, and not accustomed to producing frivolity, unlike That Other Printer, the one that gives itself airs because it can do colors. I haven’t broken it to the Serious One that it’s going to have to do **Scylla’s** ouvre too. 😉
Some of these I recall reading before; others are new. They’re all going to be a pleasure to (re)read. Thanks once again!
**Shade** , thanks for the link for a Sauron story – yet another Doper whose posts I very much enjoy. And **Maureen** , thanks for your suggestions, too. (Oh, yes, how well I remember the linked thread! :D) In fact, I almost didn’t start this thread because it would be impossible to acknowledge all the wonderful writers who tell us their stories here, and I hated to seem to slight anyone.
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### Author:  [@french\_frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/french_frog)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/16 "2004-01-06T04:00:16Z")
Hey! Thank you \*\* ETF \*\* for sharing/unearthing those diamonds !
Newbie frog.
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### Author:  [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/17 "2004-01-06T06:32:21Z")
I love reading the writings of **Eve** and **Master Wang-Ka**. I’ve shown my friends the Santa story and the story **Master Wang-Ka** posted in my [favorite-drugs thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=231431), and we all died laughing.
BTW, **Master Wang-Ka** , do you actually have books out? I’m buying them _right now_ if you do.
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### Author:  [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2004, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/18 "2004-01-06T11:22:27Z")
I gotta put my nomination in for [**Uncle Rue, Story Guy**](http://www.teemings.com/extras/index.html) - scroll down to the bottom for the full list.
These tales still get me laughing so hard, I get tears in my eyes. Yeah, I stalk him, but it’s because of these. Do check them out. They’re classic!
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### Author:  [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2004, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/19 "2004-01-06T12:01:07Z")
All Rue’s fairy tales in one place? All RIGHT!
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### Author:  [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2004, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-master-storytellers-appreciation-thread/222719/20 "2004-01-06T17:11:22Z")
Oh, cool! Twisted fairy tales!
And as a bonus, links to more of **Scylla’s** tales, not to mention a bunch of other Dopers’ stories I’m looking forward to reading.
Thanks, **FairyChatMom**! Thanks, **fetus** , for that link to another of **Master Wang-Ka’s** gems!
😃 😃 😃
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