# The Matrix: The Musical **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 18, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272 "2003-09-18T01:33:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![altoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@altoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/altoid)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/1 "2003-09-18T01:33:10Z")
I work at an alternative school with a strong arts program. (Read: a bunch of flaming liberals getting in touch with their inner freak.) Many of the students and staff are trying to convince the Theater Teacher to make a Matrix Musical. He needs more convincing, but told us to throw together a series of scenes and he’d be more apt to do it. So far we have Neo: One Singular Salvation. (From Chorus Line) That’s it. Any more ideas? ---
**Author:** ![DarRRva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/53a042/32.png) [@DarRRva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarRRva)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/2 "2003-09-18T01:51:05Z")
well we did used to sing this song in intermediate school and they changed the words so as not to be sexist and it went: I am the one, who will fight for your honour, I’ll be the hero you’re dreaming of we’ll live together knowing forever that we did it all for the glory of love That just sprung into mind… I’ll let you know if I think of any others ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/3 "2003-09-18T02:09:00Z")
I will be proud to contribute to this! Empty Disks in Empty Disk Drives (Les Mis) The Phantom of the Matrix (Phantom; Morpheus or Neo) The Man of the Matrix (Man of La Mancha; “I am I Neee-ooo-ooo, the savior of the world, and it’s onward to glory I go!”) “I am Not Elrond!” by Agent Smith. An original piece. Man, I should’ve been in theater. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/4 "2003-09-18T02:12:09Z")
“Eye of the Matrix” by Agent Smith (Eye of the Tiger, which is just a touch of class) Hell, the real lyrics work just fine: - It’s the eye of the tiger It’s the thrill of the fight Risin’ up to the challenge Of our rival And the last known survivor Stalks his prey in the night And his fortune must always be Eye of the tiger ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/5 "2003-09-18T02:23:10Z")
Possible original numbers. I Know Kung Fu. (Neo) Zion’s on the Line (Duet with Morpheus and the other captain dude) Guns, Glorious Guns (Everyone) I Wonder Who Got Me Pregnant (Trinity) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/6 "2003-09-18T02:30:02Z")
This is the thread I just can’t escape. One more: “Bad Guys of the Matrix” sung by all the Agents. (From the Queen song “Princes of the Universe”. That Highlander song.) Heeeeeeeeeere we are, Born to be Agents We’re bad guys of the Maaaaaaaaaa-triiiiiix! It’d be brilliant if you could do lights and smoke or something. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/7 "2003-09-18T02:47:56Z")
Some song with Moon, June, and, erm, Spoon. ---
**Author:** ![misshornypenny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@misshornypenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misshornypenny)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/8 "2003-09-18T03:14:03Z")
kung fu fighting… sorry, its cheesy, don’t kick me ---
**Author:** ![misshornypenny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e36b37/32.png) [@misshornypenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misshornypenny)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/9 "2003-09-18T03:14:03Z")
kung fu fighting… sorry, its cheesy, don’t kick me ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/10 "2003-09-18T05:04:49Z")
“Red Pill, Blue Pill” (Original) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/11 "2003-09-18T05:16:20Z")
“Go Ask Alice,” by Jefferson Starship. 😉 Maaaa-trix… like the corners of my mind… misty water color Maaaa-trix… of the way we were… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/12 "2003-09-18T05:26:52Z")
By the way, I recently wrote a script called “Matrix, Schmatrix,” which combined The Matrix with Seinfeld. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/13 "2003-09-18T05:27:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*I will be proud to contribute to this! > > Empty Disks in Empty Disk Drives (Les Mis) > The Phantom of the Matrix (Phantom; Morpheus or Neo) > The Man of the Matrix (Man of La Mancha; “I am I Neee-ooo-ooo, the savior of the world, and it’s onward to glory I go!”) > “I am Not Elrond!” by Agent Smith. An original piece. > > Man, I should’ve been in theater. \*\* You frighten me… you really, really frighten me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/14 "2003-09-18T05:28:45Z")
but I kinda dig it, too… ---
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/15 "2003-09-18T05:31:34Z")
You could actually use a few Queen songs but I’ll leave that up to you (hint hint). ---
**Author:** ![BornOfStardust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@BornOfStardust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornOfStardust)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/16 "2003-09-18T05:52:19Z")
[random Evita theme] “On this niiiiiiiight…on this niiiiiiight…on this niiiiiiiight of a thouuusand Smiiiiths…” "So what happens now? (Another phone booth, another call) So what happens now? (Gotta go so Zion doesn’t fall) Where am I going to? (You’re the One you always were before) Where am I going to? (Trinity - “Don’t ask anymore”) Morpheus: “Don’t cry for us, dearest Zion…instead let’s just shake our groove thangs” [/random Evita theme] ---
**Author:** ![BornOfStardust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@BornOfStardust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornOfStardust)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/17 "2003-09-18T05:55:35Z")
Ooh, another one– “Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred Aaa-gents! Five hundred twenty-five thousand asses to kiiiiiiiick…” ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/18 "2003-09-18T07:21:16Z")
I can imagine the “Phantom of the Opera” song as Morpheus bringing Neo down into the dark real world. NEO On my computer screen A message came A voice which called to me And spoke my name And do I dream again? For now I find The world which I once knew is just, Inside my mind MORPHEUS Embrace reality The Matrix lies Its power over you It multiplies And so now you must leave your life behind The world which you once knew is just, Inside your mind … I have brought you to the cold dark reality . . . to this future where all must pay homage to robots. . . rooooboooots. . . You have come here, for one purpose, and one alone . . . Since the moment I first saw your code, I have needed you with me, to serve me, to fight, all the robots . . . the rooobooots . . . …or not. ---
**Author:** ![Oy\_Vey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dbc845/32.png) [@Oy\_Vey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy_Vey)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/19 "2003-09-18T07:46:52Z")
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a cocoon Just one more ‘D’ battery swallow the pill look into the mirror and see I’m just a nerd boy, that can’t hack reality Thomas Anderson, no, Neo Crawling out the window Anyway the wind blows really seems to matter to me, to meeeeeee Morpheus, just killed myself tried to jump the roof ahead but then missed and fell instead Morpheus, my training has just begun but now I’m upgrading my fighting skills today Morpheus, ooo… Ok, I’m up waaaaaaaay too late. But you get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272/20 "2003-09-18T11:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*“I am Not Elrond!” by Agent Smith. An original piece. > > \*\* Hobbits are a _disease_. giggle. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-matrix-the-musical/202272.md?page=2)