# The Meanest Things Adults Have Ever Done To Children (Not \*Crimes\*, Just General Meanness) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 21, 2016, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306 "2016-12-21T16:46:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/61 "2016-12-26T08:50:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I knew a guy who hung himself. The place he chose to do this happened to be right where his 7 and 10 year old sons entered the house each day after school. His wife was at work at the time. > [@Enola\_Gay](#): > > Hanged > [@kayaker](#): > > Damn. You are correct. The guy was a dick, and continues to fuck with me 15 years after stringing himself up. Well, if he was that big of a dick, I guess “hung” was the right word after all… ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2016, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/62 "2016-12-26T21:50:42Z")
Internet trolls (yes, I know, some are teens) who paste “memes” all over the internet making fun of “funny looking kids” with various congenital deformities. I just heard of this on the radio today- one example below: > **[Mom Responds To Cruel Meme About Her Son With Craniofacial Disorder](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mom-responds-to-cruel-meme-about-her-son-with-craniofacial-disorder_n_56b23b0fe4b01d80b244bddd)** > > "It is absurd to me that it will ever be OK to target children to degrade and humiliate them." ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/63 "2016-12-27T01:17:39Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > this is the one I came into the thread to post. An incredibly sad case all around, this happened quite near me. Isn’t child abandonment a crime? It certainly should not matter if the bad parents are bio or adopted, any parents doing that should have the law going after them. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/64 "2016-12-27T01:59:38Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Isn’t child abandonment a crime? > > It certainly should not matter if the bad parents are bio or adopted, any parents doing that should have the law going after them. IIRC this incident led to the Russian gov’t halting adoptions btwn the US and Russia entirely. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/65 "2016-12-27T02:08:45Z")
Here’s a slightly more recent article on CNN saying the mother was fined and ordered to pay child support, the child is a US citizen and the adoptive mother is legally considered the mother. I can’t find any news more recent than 2012 though. > **[Woman who returned Russian boy must pay child support | CNN](https://www.cnn.com/2012/07/13/us/adopted-child-returned/)** > > The American woman who sent her adopted son back to Russia must pay $150,000 in child support, a Tennessee judge reaffirmed Friday. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/66 "2016-12-28T15:20:21Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > Here’s a slightly more recent article on CNN saying the mother was fined and ordered to pay child support, the child is a US citizen and the adoptive mother is legally considered the mother. > > I can’t find any news more recent than 2012 though. > > [http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/13/us/adopted-child-returned/](http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/13/us/adopted-child-returned/) But, but she kept the receipt and everything! She’d even take an exchange or store credit! Well, I guess there’s always eBay and Craiglist. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/67 "2016-12-28T15:59:34Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > But, but she kept the receipt and everything! She’d even take an exchange or store credit! Well, I guess there’s always eBay and Craiglist. Yeah. Latest I’ve read is she ran off to California and no longer has a lawyer. Something tells me she isn’t paying any child support either. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2016, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/68 "2016-12-28T18:15:33Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > But, but she kept the receipt and everything! She’d even take an exchange or store credit! Well, I guess there’s always eBay and Craiglist. I wish I was kidding, but there are people who [swap the kids they’ve adopted and don’t want anymore on Yahoo](http://www.reuters.com/investigates/adoption/#article/part1). ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2016, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/69 "2016-12-29T23:02:54Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > IIRC this incident led to the Russian gov’t halting adoptions btwn the US and Russia entirely. Then double damn them. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/70 "2017-01-03T16:41:11Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Then double damn them. I have very mixed feelings about the whole situation. Without knowing the particulars of the case mentioned, we do know a family who adopted a child from Russia. They were told the child had some medical issues. They were also told that the orphanage staff would deliberately exaggerate the issues because the law at the time (this was 20ish years ago) in Russia was that healthy kids could not be adopted out of the country. So they had reason to hope their child was not too bad off. It turned out that their child’s issues were grossly **downplayed**. Seizures, significant developmental and behavioral issues… she was ultimately placed in a residential treatment facility for the remainder of her school years (as in, home for vacations etc.). The daughter would be in her mid-20s now, but we lost touch with the family so I don’t know how they are doing. Another family adopted a girl from China. She has many issues (very sweet, but definitely developmentally delayed). Another family adopted 2 kids from Central America; the son, last I heard, had been placed under court supervision and was basically in a facility for criminal teens because his behavior had gotten so bad at home - he had assaulted his mother several times and she was in fear for her own life. What it boils down to is: I don’t think there’s enough disclosure / evaluation of the families OR the kids, to know what kind of issues the children have, and and the parents’ readiness to handle special needs kids. There is surely some “dumping” of problem children on the “rich Americans”. And there is often not enough support here for families with problem children of any background (speaking of my own extended family’s special needs kids). ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2017, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/71 "2017-01-03T18:04:27Z")
Well, we had to watch endless “Sol” episodes in French class. And they played each one twice. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/72 "2017-01-04T20:46:15Z")
Not “mean”, just douche-y: When I was 16 years old New Kids on the Block came to the big city near us. This was my best friend’s favourite band (not mine!) but I said I’d go with her so she could see them. Another girl we knew really wanted to go so we got her a ticket also. My friend and I just planned to take the bus, it was only about an hour away. Well this other girl’s father said the only way she would be allowed to go would be if he drove us all there and back and we each gave him $15 “for gas”. Well we felt obligated to agree because we liked this girl and knew how badly she wanted to see NKOTB. Anyway, her father was cranky and sullen the whole time and on the way back he stopped for gas and said “You girls want some Cokes?” and we were all thirsty as hell so we said “Yes please!” but when he came out of the gas station he had no pop and just got in the car and drove without a word. We were like “wtf?” When I told my dad about this he goes “So this guy made $45 off you girls. What a dick.” ---
**Author:** ![Patx2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/73ab20/32.png) [@Patx2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patx2)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/73 "2017-01-05T00:29:46Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > I have very mixed feelings about the whole situation. Without knowing the particulars of the case mentioned, we do know a family who adopted a child from Russia. > > They were told the child had some medical issues. They were also told that the orphanage staff would deliberately exaggerate the issues because the law at the time (this was 20ish years ago) in Russia was that healthy kids could not be adopted out of the country. So they had reason to hope their child was not too bad off. > > It turned out that their child’s issues were grossly **downplayed**. Seizures, significant developmental and behavioral issues… she was ultimately placed in a residential treatment facility for the remainder of her school years (as in, home for vacations etc.). The daughter would be in her mid-20s now, but we lost touch with the family so I don’t know how they are doing. > > Another family adopted a girl from China. She has many issues (very sweet, but definitely developmentally delayed). Another family adopted 2 kids from Central America; the son, last I heard, had been placed under court supervision and was basically in a facility for criminal teens because his behavior had gotten so bad at home - he had assaulted his mother several times and she was in fear for her own life. > > What it boils down to is: I don’t think there’s enough disclosure / evaluation of the families OR the kids, to know what kind of issues the children have, and and the parents’ readiness to handle special needs kids. There is surely some “dumping” of problem children on the “rich Americans”. And there is often not enough support here for families with problem children of any background (speaking of my own extended family’s special needs kids). I believe all of these heartbreaking situations you posted, but I have to wonder about the adoption agencies that facilitated these adoptions. Surely they are no longer operating? I have adopted internationally and the most important thing is working with a reputable agency. I also think it’s beyond important for prospective adoptive parents adopting domestically or internationally to be very honest with themselves about whether or not they can handle a special needs child and exactly what needs they can handle. I am not suggesting at all that this was the case with anyone you knew, but sometimes I think people get so desperate or discouraged and think they can take on more than they are capable of and it results in much heartache. ---
**Author:** ![Emerald\_Hawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Emerald\_Hawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emerald_Hawk)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306/74 "2017-01-05T18:27:39Z")
As a lover of ambiguous headlines, I particularly like the second one from the OP. It’s actually: > [@](#): > > A Russian City Promised Cakes for the Local Orphans, then the Adults Ate **them** All **Them** referring to the orphans, who were no doubt delicious. > [@SaharaTea](#): > > There must be examples out there of parents who make no efforts to stop their children’s bullying of other children…some of them even encourage it or participate in the bullying themselves. One blog post on this topic has always stuck with me. It’s titled [The Mother Who Hated the Sound of Her Children’s Laughter](http://maggieameanderings.com/2013-May-26.htm). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-meanest-things-adults-have-ever-done-to-children-not-crimes-just-general-meanness/775306.md?page=3)