# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/1 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")
_Melania_ is getting 6% on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics, vs. 99% from the (apparently _very_ small) audience. That’s a difference of 93 percentage points between the critics and the movie-watching public. A decade ago, [we discussed the gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rotten-tomatoes-the-largest-gap-between-critics-and-users/674072/9) between critic reviews and general-public reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and it appeared at the time that the film with the greatest gap between the twain was _[Hating Breitbart](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hating_breitbart)_, also a political movie. Also, it appears that the movie is flopping, hard - even by January cinema standards. But apparently not as hard as the industry expected it to flop: it’s done $8 million so far, in spite of expectations that it would do $1-5 million. [Box office: ‘Melania’ pacing for $8 million opening weekend](https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/box-office-melania-pacing-for-8-million-opening-weekend/ar-AA1VlMN6?ocid=BingNewsSerp) ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/2 "2026-01-31T15:37:22Z")
I kind of love that two opposites have movies out this weekend: Melania - a very much disliked person Markiplier - a very much loved person. His movie is Iron Lung, not a documentary. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/3 "2026-01-31T15:45:01Z")
Despite the bad reviews for _Melania_ (and they’re awful) and embarrassingly bad ticket sales, the “documentary” is a success for Amazon and Bezos. They got their bribe in and good things will follow. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/4 "2026-01-31T15:47:50Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > _Melania_ is getting 6% on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics, That’s down from a high of 8% as more critics weigh in, falling over themselves to find suitably biting mockery. Melania apparently has the same shameless total lack of self-awareness as her orange spouse. I’m pretty sure this is the lowest movie rating I’ve ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/5 "2026-01-31T15:51:01Z")
I just have to wonder if anyone in the Trump universe had ever seen Citizen Kane? You know, the part where he builds his talentless second wife an opera house and she flops terribly. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/6 "2026-01-31T15:52:46Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Melania apparently has the same shameless total lack of self-awareness as her orange spouse I saw a clip, purportedly from a North Korean news broadcast, where the hostess referred to her as an “expensive prostitute.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/7 "2026-01-31T15:53:03Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > Also, it appears that the movie is flopping, hard - even by January cinema standards. But apparently not as hard as the industry expected it to flop: it’s done $8 million so far, in spite of expectations that it would do $1-5 million. I’ve heard reports that in certain theaters a whole row will be purchased while the rest of the seats are still empty. That’s not how seats normally get sold; people buying individual tickets are going to buy seats with gaps between other seats until the theater starts to fill. So I’m sure a good percentage of that $8 mill is Repub operatives purchasing whole rows at a time. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/8 "2026-01-31T15:53:27Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > They got their bribe in and good things will follow. Well, they _think_ good things will follow. But Trump believes in accepting tribute, not in providing value for money. With luck not much will come of this other than a bad movie and entertainingly vicious reviews. ---
**Author:** ![Lizzie1210](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Lizzie1210](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizzie1210)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/9 "2026-01-31T16:03:27Z")
I personally cannot image a duller subject for a feature film than a jaded and soul selling immigrant who married a disgusting rich guy to secure her future. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/10 "2026-01-31T16:23:16Z")
I expect the RW propaganda machine is making this out to be a bigger hit than the last thing Kim Jong Un liked. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/11 "2026-01-31T16:24:02Z")
IOW, it’s all bots buying tickets and all bots praising the movie. Welcome to the AI-powered dystopian future. ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/12 "2026-01-31T16:29:15Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > IOW, it’s all bots buying tickets Yeah, but the money for those tickets is coming from _someone’s_ bank account… ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/13 "2026-01-31T16:44:07Z")
Probably from the foreign leaders who paid to be on the Board of Peace, hoping the movie would achieve that goal by putting people to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/14 "2026-01-31T16:44:47Z")
> [@solost](#): > > So I’m sure a good percentage of that $8 mill is Repub operatives purchasing whole rows at a time. Sometimes target audience groups buy blocks of tickets, and invite the fascisti to come and sit in their block, for free. It keeps the audience segregated, so no one overhears the whispers of members of other groups, especially if you buy a big enough block that there is a buffer of empty seats cocooning your members. This was a big thing during _The Passion of the Christ_, when the Yid was disinvited to sit a couple of times, because such-&-such church had reserved that whole block. Trump is interviewed in the film, so I’m hoping for a nice record of his dementedness with sympathetic interviewers, where no one can claim he’s been discombobulated by “fake news” or something. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/15 "2026-01-31T16:51:10Z")
I was saying “Boo-urns.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/16 "2026-01-31T16:57:05Z")
Once you eliminate all the reporters and critics that have to attend, of course the very few that remain will probably give good reviews, the same way an evangelical Christian movie gets extremely high reviews from that only ones that actually want to see the movie no matter how exceedingly awful and cheap that movie is. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/17 "2026-01-31T16:57:29Z")
I can’t imagine anyone has time to watch this “vanity brag" movie. Just wait, all the other no talent, nobodies who are mega-rich doing nothing are gonna rush to get their movie made. Oh joy, I’m waiting with bated breath for a Kardashian film. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/18 "2026-01-31T16:58:49Z")
> [@solost](#): > > I’ve heard reports that in certain theaters a whole row will be purchased while the rest of the seats are still empty. We checked the showings at the east Mesa theaters yesterday (big MAGA country), and we found that the same block of about 8-12 seats were taken for every showing. At the Scottsdale theater, the exact same 6 seats are taken for every showing. Yeah that’s not suspicious. Some showings had what appeared to be real tickets. Frankly, I’m surprised anyone wants to see it. Is she like a role model for some people? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/19 "2026-01-31T17:00:18Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I can’t imagine anyone has time to watch this “vanity brag" movie. I can imagine people going to see it and making sure their review/reaction is publicized, just to curry favor with The Emperor-To-Wanna-Be. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/20 "2026-01-31T17:02:05Z")
> [@Lizzie1210](#): > > I personally cannot image a duller subject for a feature film than a jaded and soul selling immigrant who married a disgusting rich guy to secure her future. I think a movie with that plot _could_ be very interesting, if fictionalized and done with good writers and cast. It probably would be very depressing, or maybe a slapstick comedy. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=2)