# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2026, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/181 "2026-02-03T21:12:36Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > So, nothing about her feelings when Demento Don was paying for sex with Stormy while she was in the hospital? Or about the year long tryst with the Playboy playmate? No discussion of the the redone prenuptial to get her to move to the White House? Her thoughts on his attempted government overthrow? So just vapid preening? > > Color me disappointed. Another review snip: > And the revisionist history? Embarrassing. The movie tiptoes around reality like it’s made of lava. Controversy, accountability, actual substance - all scrubbed clean. It’s a PR job masquerading as cinema. You can practically hear the lawyers standing just off camera. > … > If you’re looking for insight, you won’t find it. If you’re looking for honesty, forget it. If you’re looking for unintentional comedy, though? Congratulations - you’re eating good. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2026, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/182 "2026-02-03T22:43:44Z")
The IMDB rating isn’t simply the arithmetic mean of the tallied votes. They use a ‘weighted average’ that favors regular users and protects against ‘review bombing.’ [IMDB Ratings FAQ](https://help.imdb.com/article/imdb/track-movies-tv/ratings-faq/G67Y87TFYYP6TWAV?showReportContentLink=true&reportContentLinkPath=%2Fcontact%2Freport%2Fuk#) ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2026, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/183 "2026-02-03T22:49:03Z")
I was disheartened to see few local theatres are screening this fine movie. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2026, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/184 "2026-02-03T23:49:18Z")
Now that you mention it, yes, I seem to recall that the IMDb algorithm is actually some sort of proprietary trade secret. In any case, whatever they’re doing seems to be working well – _Melania_ is still at 1.3 out of 10 with 37,000 votes now cast! There might, at some point in IMDb history, been a movie with a lower score, but I’ve never seen one! I find it heartwarming that there are probably hundreds if not thousands of MAGA types who are frustrated that their attempts to inflate the score aren’t working! 😀 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/185 "2026-02-04T00:13:07Z")
My favorite line came from the review in [The Irish Independent](https://www.independent.ie/podcasts/the-indo-daily/the-indo-daily-melania-the-movie-we-saw-it-so-you-dont-have-to/a1831744040.html): “I gave this movie one star because it ended.” ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/186 "2026-02-04T00:26:39Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > _Melania_ is still at 1.3 out of 10 with 37,000 votes now cast! There might, at some point in IMDb history, been a movie with a lower score, but I’ve never seen one! For those who don’t follow IMDb closely, the general rule of thumb is that a movie worth watching should be rated at least 6 or above. Very rarely, under special circumstances perhaps involving a special interest, a movie somewhat below 6 might be watchable. 7 and above indicates solid merit, and anything above 8 is rare and truly exceptional. There are no words for anything rated 1.3. Or at least, no words suitable for polite company. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/187 "2026-02-04T00:32:19Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > _Melania_ is still at 1.3 out of 10 with 37,000 votes now cast! There might, at some point in IMDb history, been a movie with a lower score, but I’ve never seen one! The [IMDb’s Bottom 100 list](https://www.imdb.com/chart/bottom/?ref_=chttp_ql_7&sort=user_rating%2Casc) includes two features, _Smolensk_ and _Daniel the Wizard_, at 1.2 However their criteria for inclusion are, _The lowest rated movie list only includes feature films. Shorts, TV movies, and **documentaries** are not included. The list is ranked by a formula which includes the number of ratings each movie received from users, and value of ratings received from regular users. To be included on the list, a movie must receive ratings from at least 10,000 users._ (Bolding mine\*) _Melania_ would not be included. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/188 "2026-02-04T01:30:46Z")
Melania is now the betting favorite to win the FIFA Oscar for Best Picture. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/189 "2026-02-04T01:38:08Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > I was disheartened to see few local theatres are screening this fine movie Who knows, maybe nobody’s viewing it. I could see it turning into a Rocky Horror-esque Picture Show, with the audience throwing high heel shoes into the air every time onscreen Melania walks past in a pair of pumps. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/190 "2026-02-04T04:34:09Z")
One more than The Guardian who gave it zero stars - one of only I believe 19 movies to achieve that rating in the entire history of The Guardian. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/191 "2026-02-04T05:09:14Z")
I men, the movie is just a way to pay a bribe. All it needs to do to be successful is to be moderately flattering, and absolutely avoid anything that might possibly be embarrassing. That doesn’t really make for a very exciting-to-watch premise. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/192 "2026-02-04T05:56:52Z")
Reported demographics [as reported by Axios](https://www.axios.com/2026/02/02/melania-documentary-box-office-white-women): > The “Melania” audience was mostly older (72% were 55 and up), female (72%) and white (75%). 2% of the audience identified as Democrats. Hollywood Reporter: > Top-grossing theaters were in conservative-leaning states including Texas and Florida — including West Palm Beach, not far from Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort — Louisiana, Georgia, Arizona, Tennessee, Alabama, Oklahoma, Ohio and Nevada. California and New York were not on the list of top-grossing states, although organizers did host invite-only screenings in Los Angeles, Orange County, the Bay Area and New York City on Jan. 31, where guests were treated to a simulcast of the film’s premiere in Washington, D.C., that was attended by the president and first lady. The movie is wildly popular with its audience. > And the film’s CinemaScore — which awards grades based on interviews with moviegoers when they leave the theater — measured an “A.” Don’t listen to the radical left elite critics: _Melania_ is the next _Citizen’s Kane_ as perceived by its audience. More seriously, Vanessa Friedman of the New York Times thinks it’s a branding exercise. I’m wondering whether the movie will boost sales of official Melania knick-knaks. Will Director Brett Ratner’s photos in the Epstein files spur additional ticket sales of _Melania_? I can’t rule it out: its target audience has a pretty strong stomach. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/193 "2026-02-04T16:49:20Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m surprised there aren’t a lot more MAGA types swarming in there to bump up the rating. That’s because they can’t spell IMDb. I wonder if there is a female version of “First I Look at the Purse,” or “Wiving Weathily in Padua.” Would be a good theme song. “I don’t care how many chicks he humps I got myself ten new pairs of pumps.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/194 "2026-02-04T17:08:00Z")
[_Look at My Potato_](https://youtu.be/UlMuZcyv39w) ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/195 "2026-02-04T17:12:44Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Who knows, maybe nobody’s viewing it. > [@DesertDog](#): > > As noted above I checked Harkins Superstition Springs in east Mesa, which is pretty red\* and found fewer than a dozen in the afternoon and evening showings Today I looked at Shea 14. Four showings today, and all four have the same exact six seats taken. Exact. What are the odds? The 12:15 has seven other seats, they could be real, and the 2:45 has 17(!). Who is going in the afternoon? old retired repubs, I guess. Superstition Springs has 6 showings today, and four have the exact same six seats reserved (what? They ran out of money for the other two?). Only two showings have what may be real people. One has but one ticket sold! At least he’s sitting in the exact middle for that real THX surround sound experience! Outside of Phoenix-Mesa, Prescott Valley (trumplandia north) looks to have about four people total over four showings. They don’t even seem to have fake buyers. Flagstaff (not at all trumplandia) has four showings today and about 13 people total. Probably bored college kids watching it ironically. 🙂 The morning one (which has the most people, actually) is in their smallest theater. Cozy. The audience can talk amongst themselves about how wonderful and perfect Despicable Mel is. ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/196 "2026-02-04T17:32:15Z")
Some evidence of bulk ticket buying: > **[Melania’s Movie Shows Signs of Bulk Buying to Boost Box Office: Guru](https://www.thedailybeast.com/obsessed/box-office-guru-flags-suspicious-sales-to-boost-melania-movie/)** > > How the $75 million “documentary” defied box office expectations is becoming clearer. Source is [Tom Brueggemann](https://substack.com/@tombrueggemann)’s substack. > But also apparently helping was some outside group ticket buying. Again, the documentation on this is sketchy. But industry sources say there were signs that blocs of tickets were purchased for the weekend, then distributed to senior citizen homes, Republican activists, other interested parties for free to help boost audiences. Not quoted as much in secondary sources: > Assuming this happened, how much did this help? We’ll never know, and the reality is that like other far right documentaries and overlapping faith-based films, there is a core older, less urban, mostly white audience that responds to them, but with a fraction of the marketing cost spent here. So thinking there was a legitimate normal ticket-paying audience of over $5 million would be logical at a minimum, irrespective of how the ultimate result compares to other documentaries. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2026, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/197 "2026-02-04T18:11:42Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > There might, at some point in IMDb history, been a movie with a lower score, but I’ve never seen one! [There are at least 200 feature-length films or short subjects ranked at 1.2 or lower.](https://www.imdb.com/search/title/?title_type=feature,short&user_rating=,1.2) The first two on the list it gives me are shorts which also have to do with Melania: [one about the First Lady herself](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt24491976/reference/?ref_=sr_t_1) and [the other](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt10511242/reference/?ref_=sr_t_2) prominently features a Melania mask. > [@DesertDog](#): > > _Melania_ would not be included. But would be included in this sort of search, if the top end is changed to 1.3. ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2026, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/198 "2026-02-05T02:02:15Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Superstition Springs has 6 showings today, and four have the exact same six seats reserved I looked at several Malco theaters in Memphis yesterday and every showing I saw had two seats sold. And they were either on the left side of the third row or the right side of the third row. Weird places to sit in an empty theater. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2026, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/199 "2026-02-05T03:53:56Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I men, the movie is just a way to pay a bribe. Correct. The movie has served its purpose has been served no matter how few tickets are sold or people attend. It’s like the bogus arrests. The point is harassing the arrestees, including altered publishing perp-walks if necessary, sending a chilling effect, and red meat to the red-hat crowd. That the arrests are thrown out of court later or prosecutors resigned rather than press them matters not ---
**Author:** ![DKW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dkw/32/3118_2.png) [@DKW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DKW)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2026, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/200 "2026-02-05T04:37:30Z")
If you’re actually interested in what actually happens in this movie but obviously don’t want to spend real money on it, the reviews on [Dead Domain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5BFdf_BF04) and [Raw America/Really American](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGqJLvs8kOI) are worth a watch. This is one of those debacles where there isn’t really much to discuss because it’s so obvious what’s going on. Bribery, money laundering, privilege, walking on eggshells, block ticket buying, like, we weren’t born yesterday, right? For me, there’s really only one mystery…why **her**? I mean, look at the kind of women the right wing chud crowd fawns over and will die on a damn pitcher’s mound over. Leona Helmsley, Marge Schott, Ann Coulter, even Roseanne Barr and Sarah Palin for a while. Thoroughly repulsive, _relish_ hurting minorities, zero shame or restraint. How does Melania Trump even begin to measure up to this? From everything I’ve seen and heard, she’s a blank-slate overprivileged trophy wife who’s never made so much as a nasty tweet. She’s like an AI girlfriend with worse English. Hell, I haven’t seen any evidence that she’s even against Democrats, blacks, feminists, transpeople, environmentalists, etc., not even the ones that want to tax the rich, because it’s not exactly a problem for her, is it? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=11)