# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/221 "2026-02-07T03:54:53Z")
Can I also assume that this “unit activity event” is also at the soldiers’ own expense? ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/222 "2026-02-07T03:56:10Z")
Viewings will continue til morale improves. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/223 "2026-02-07T03:58:21Z")
That is, unless any of you got anything better to do. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/224 "2026-02-07T04:44:42Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Her name is [Laura Benanti](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm1128574/?ref_=tt_cst_t_14) It was mainly her cheekbones that made me wonder. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/225 "2026-02-07T15:52:19Z")
“Well, what do you think of my little scheme… spending all afternoon marching up and down the square!” “Um…” “Oh! Not good enough for the likes of you! Eh? Too good to spend all afternoon marching up and down the square! Rather be at the pictures, eh? Marching up and down the square isn’t good enough for you! Eh?” “Well…” “Right! Off you go! To Melania!” “Um…” (Regrets to The Meaning of Life, Part 3: Fighting Each Othet.) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/226 "2026-02-07T21:20:41Z")
This, if true, is very bad news: Our active military may be pressured to see the movie. [MRFF Swamped with Complaints as MAGA Military Commanders Pressure Service Members to See “Melania” Movie – Military Religious Freedom Foundation](https://www.militaryreligiousfreedom.org/2026/02/mrff-swamped-with-complaints-as-maga-military-commanders-pressure-service-members-to-see-melania-movie/?fbclid=IwY2xjawP0izlleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBicmlkETFwZDlSRkczWGFRUm56REZQc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQQMjIyMDM5MTc4ODIwMDg5MgABHsayn_SOsI7sEvlOieKQyeLfjq_XxHDs_kQQYNDzfYoq3HPzDybXJUt_OmZc_aem_exLslHJRNEnQCVq6MgfGeA) ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/227 "2026-02-07T21:59:24Z")
I have a suspicion that demonstrating MAGAness is becoming like the annual United Way drive. Every command was evaluated on how high their participation percentage was. Officially it was totally voluntary and a matter of personal conscience. Unofficcially, your great grandboss wanted 100%. So did your grandboss. So your boss did too. If you had troops of your own, by golly you wanted it becasue your boss wanted it because … Within the military I suspect you’ve got some genuine MAGAs and a bunch of people who are phoning in their MAGA noises because they’re afraid of looking bad in an era when they’re expecting MAGA “political officers” _a la_ the Soviet military to be parachuted in any time now to enforce true allegiance to the One True Idea & Leader. This is horrific news for our nation. not surprising news, but horrific nontheless. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/228 "2026-02-07T22:24:28Z")
The events around this movie show what a deeply entrenched and frightening cult MAGA is. It’s still rated a horrific 1.3 out of 10 on IMDb and now I fear for the future of IMDb at the hands of vengeful cultists. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/229 "2026-02-07T22:32:28Z")
What could cultists possibly do to IMDB? ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/230 "2026-02-07T22:39:24Z")
Flood it with stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/231 "2026-02-07T22:43:51Z")
The reviews do not come with a photo of them wearing the MAGA hat. ---
**Author:** ![Chelonaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@Chelonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chelonaut)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/232 "2026-02-07T22:45:11Z")
Amazon both produced the movie and owns IMDB. Until now they haven’t manipulated the rating of their own media, but this is an age of bold, shameless corruption. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/233 "2026-02-07T22:56:14Z")
> [@Chelonaut](#): > > Amazon both produced the movie and owns IMDB. I didn’t know that Amazon owned IMDb. Apparently they bought it back in 1998. Wikipedia claims it runs independently of Amazon, but this could get interesting, in much the same way as the _Washington Post_ is “independent” of Jeff Bezos. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/234 "2026-02-07T23:17:49Z")
I didn’t realize that Laura was once married to Chris Barron, the lead singer for the Spin Doctors. And, looking at her pictures on Google, with the right makeup, she could play Laura Loomer. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2026, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/235 "2026-02-07T23:21:34Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > All it needs to do to be successful is to be moderately flattering, and absolutely avoid anything that might possibly be embarrassing. That doesn’t really make for a very exciting-to-watch premise. It doesn’t help that the subject of the movie is likely one of the planet’s dullest inhabitants. Not bright, not nice, not creative, not anything other than self-serving. Self-absorbed people are usually the most boring people. I guess the only exception arises when they have mental illnesses beyond mere narcissism—a propensity to inflict themselves on others in one way or another, and the power to do so. Melania doesn’t insist on our thinking about her every minute of every day; she just wants to be rich and to have an easy life. Tedious but unremarkable. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2026, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/236 "2026-02-08T19:19:14Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > With appropriate makeup a skilled actress like Benanti could nail that look and behavior. Here’s a couple of pictures of her appearing as Melania on Colbert’s show (the third picture is from just a couple of days ago). She is clearly doing a caricature in her performances, but the best caricatures are based on truth. [![](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/07/21/arts/21BENANTI/21BENANTI-superJumbo.jpg) ](https://static01.nyt.com/images/2016/07/21/arts/21BENANTI/21BENANTI-superJumbo.jpg) [![](https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/stephen_colbert_laura_benanti_melania_trump_h_2016.jpg) ](https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/stephen_colbert_laura_benanti_melania_trump_h_2016.jpg) [![](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3a.vQ7AbiFMDL8mCx9ukGg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD02OTk7Y2Y9d2VicA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/mandatory_995/cecf55b3bc7a0a79edb281e176130b09) ](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3a.vQ7AbiFMDL8mCx9ukGg--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD02OTk7Y2Y9d2VicA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/mandatory_995/cecf55b3bc7a0a79edb281e176130b09) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/237 "2026-02-09T02:30:36Z")
She’s certainly got the sullen pout down pat. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/238 "2026-02-09T02:43:02Z")
And the makeup is pretty much on point. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/239 "2026-02-09T02:49:08Z")
Almost; needs more work on the raccoon eye squint. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/240 "2026-02-09T03:47:22Z")
Super Bowl weekend is historically bad for movies at the box office. Still, it’s worth noting that [Melania dropped by 67% this weekend to $2.4 million](https://apnews.com/article/box-office-scream-7-melania-f0d26c19af33c0e5ded9a1c6b8ae79d0), good for #10 at the box office. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=13)