# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/241 "2026-02-09T03:54:43Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > Still, it’s worth noting that [Melania dropped by 67% this weekend to $2.4 million](https://apnews.com/article/box-office-scream-7-melania-f0d26c19af33c0e5ded9a1c6b8ae79d0), good for #10 at the box office. In a better, fairer world, I could make a movie about my dog having a shit on the back lawn and make $24 million at the box office in one weekend. It would also be much more entertaining and much less annoying to watch than this drivel. But this is not the MAGA-influenced reality in which we currently must exist. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2026, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/242 "2026-02-09T06:05:14Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I have a suspicion that demonstrating MAGAness is becoming like the annual United Way drive. Every command was evaluated on how high their participation percentage was. Officially it was totally voluntary and a matter of personal conscience. Unofficcially, your great grandboss wanted 100%. So did your grandboss. So your boss did too. If you had troops of your own, by golly you wanted it becasue your boss wanted it because … [The Great Loyalty Oath Crusade](https://mathematicalcrap.com/2022/08/14/the-great-loyalty-oath-crusade/) ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/243 "2026-02-10T08:14:07Z")
Don’t know if it’s been posted yet, but someone made an AI mockup of what the Melania movie should have been. Take it for what it is: > ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/244 "2026-02-10T14:34:02Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Take it for what it is Just as soon as I figure out what it is, I’ll take it for that. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2026, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/245 "2026-02-10T23:46:16Z")
That was hilarious. And scary. Scary in lots of ways. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2026, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/246 "2026-02-11T00:33:10Z")
I love the correction The Guardian issued for their review (Which I learned about from last weekend’s _Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me_): > The star rating for this film was corrected on 2 February 2026. A formatting issue led an earlier version to be awarded one star, when the reviewer’s intention was zero. > **[Melania review – Trump film is a gilded trash remake of The Zone of Interest](https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jan/30/melania-review-trump-film-is-a-gilded-trash-remake-of-the-zone-of-interest)** > > Dispiriting, deadly and unrevealing – there is a decent documentary to be made about the former model from Slovenia, but this one is unredeemable ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2026, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/247 "2026-02-11T17:06:50Z")
My eyes were drawn to the exit sign, the most interesting thing. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/248 "2026-02-12T13:00:24Z")
I think everyone is missing the point. This movie is an allegory about power and its corrupting influence. Melania is meant to represent God, who makes small adjustments and helps the world work at a fundamental level (represented by table settings and choices of decor), but does not interfere in the actions and free will of human beings. God is basically helpless to have a direct impact on human affairs after the original Creation. The theology expressed is quite profound. If only I was 19 YO, back in college, needed to write a paper for American Film 101, and had some good weed. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/249 "2026-02-12T13:54:31Z")
Forcing Service Members to watch this insipid movie does not shout “warrior” to me. We are letting the meanest idiots run the fucking world. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/250 "2026-02-12T14:39:29Z")
I think the movie is a meta-commentary on art and politics. It is the equivalent of duck taping a banana to a wall and calling it art (Melania is the banana, and she is decaying). Or like hanging an empty frame in a gallery. It’s a brilliant piece of conceptual art, reflecting back whatever the viewer puts in. The millions spent to make the film is an essential part of its inherent absurdity. The fact that the film is also an overt and public bribe to trump is a meta-meta-commentary. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/251 "2026-02-12T14:41:37Z")
> [@ZonexandScout](#): > > If only I was 19 YO, back in college, needed to write a paper for American Film 101, and had some good weed. I’d at least pass you, with counseling about how that weed was not that good. > [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > Forcing Service Members to watch this insipid movie does not shout “warrior” to me. Yeah really. Can’t really see Hegseth thinking this was worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/252 "2026-02-12T15:07:20Z")
> [@gkster](#): > > The Independent [said](https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/reviews/melania-trump-movie-review-documentary-b2911108.html) the first lady came across as “a preening, scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda.” Sounds like an accurate portrayal of her, then. > [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > This is called a [fly-on-the-wall documentary](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fly_on_the_wall). And we know what attracts flies. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/253 "2026-02-12T16:48:52Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > I love the correction The Guardian issued for their review (Which I learned about from last weekend’s _Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me_): > > > The star rating for this film was corrected on 2 February 2026. A formatting issue led an earlier version to be awarded one star, when the reviewer’s intention was zero. That’s funny! I guess by some review standards, a one-star rating is the lowest that can be given. Others appear to be more flexible, offering a zero-star option! 😁 Fortunately for Melania and the Orange One, they’re so ineffably stupid that they have no shame. They’re probably quite proud of this movie, and their sycophants are telling them how incredibly well it’s doing! I’m certain that next year Trump will be excoriating AMPAA for not giving it a “Best Documentary” Oscar! ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/254 "2026-02-12T16:52:48Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > > [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > > > Forcing Service Members to watch this insipid movie does not shout “warrior” to me. > > Yeah really. Can’t really see Hegseth thinking this was worth it. True at first glance. But on further thought … Mission One is loyalty to Dear Leader. Mission two is being warlike. Mission about #12 is actually being a competent military. DoD certainly was before trump’s first term, but the rot has spread quite aways and all the measures of merit in use today are in the direction of further rot, not better functioning as a war-fighting machine. No matter how much bellicose bluster comes from the top, when everyone on down the line is a brown-nosing loser graded solely on brown nosing, well your entire service is a loser. trump really is trying to remake the USA in Russia’s image. Right down to copying the fine nature of their half-assed, but very large, military. Bottom line: Forcing the DoD rank and file to watch _Melania_ is totally an exercise in loyaty testing and loyalty promoting. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2026, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/255 "2026-02-12T17:28:59Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Fortunately for Melania and the Orange One, they’re so ineffably stupid that they have no shame. They’re probably quite proud of this movie, and their sycophants are telling them how incredibly well it’s doing! “Sir, I can safely say it’s getting ratings no one has ever seen before!” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2026, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/256 "2026-02-13T06:20:57Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > Can’t really see Hegseth thinking You could have stopped right there. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2026, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/257 "2026-02-13T06:25:33Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m certain that next year Trump will be excoriating AMPAA for not giving it a “Best Documentary” Oscar! _Next_ year? He’ll whinge about it _this_ year. “You knew it was coming and should have made an exception! Thank you for your attention to this matter.” ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2026, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/258 "2026-02-14T00:03:53Z")
_Melania_ is 26 or 75 million dollar bribe, depending upon how you count it. The movie gives MAGA and various members of the armed forces (coerced or otherwise) an opportunity to participate in the corruption. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2026, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/259 "2026-02-14T00:07:40Z")
Heh. I can’t help but think of Dopers who have argued over the years that in order to understand a film, you had to have actually seen it. Any takers? ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2026, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/260 "2026-02-14T05:12:43Z")
I’m afraid I will never, ever understand the film _Melania_. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=14)