# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2026, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/261 "2026-02-14T14:02:42Z")
For a genuine work of art, yes. For what could as well have been 90 minutes of plain black film and silence for all that it matters to the true payload of bribery and syncophancy, I’m not sure there’s a there there that needs understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Moris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moris/32/2846_2.png) [@Moris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moris)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/262 "2026-02-16T10:50:44Z")
I’d like to see Slavoj Žižek reviewing the film from the cultural critic perspective, and whatever he might say about his fellow countrywoman. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/263 "2026-02-16T11:08:58Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > For what could as well have been 90 minutes of plain black film and silence for all that it matters to the true payload of bribery and syncophancy, I’m not sure there’s a there there that needs understanding. This brought to mind a concept for an essentially identical film that could have been made for practically nothing and had exactly the same effect. The film I’m imagining consists simply of a series of still images of Melania doing Ultra-Rich-Folk things, like instructing the staff about table place settings, selecting tasteless but expensive artwork, firing the gardener with an imperious gesture because the roses are not to her liking, etc. But it would still be a hit if narrated by an appropriately obsequious sycophant – I’m thinking either Laura Loomer or Natalie Harp. (Harp is the “human printer” who follows Trump around feeding his narcissism with positive news articles.) The film would have to omit private activities such as putting on ten pounds of makeup or taking a shit. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/264 "2026-02-16T15:32:07Z")
Radical right wing propagandist [Ingrid Jacques](https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2026/02/10/melania-movie-reviews-rotten-tomatoes-score/88545838007/) tells us: > The critics _HATE_ it, giving it a lousy score of just 10%, [according to Rotten Tomatoes](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/melania) (compare that [with the 93% score](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/becoming_2020_2) critics gave the 2020 documentary “Becoming” about former first lady Michelle Obama). > > Yet, the Americans heading to the theater to watch “Melania” have a vastly different takeaway. They’ve given it a score of 99%. Imagine that. A movie designed to appeal only to cult members has high ratings from the only people that would bother to go to it- cult members. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/265 "2026-02-16T17:00:22Z")
Yer usin’ that logic-stuff, ain’t 'cha, Pilgrim. We know how to deal with that around here, don’t we, boys? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/266 "2026-02-16T17:05:53Z")
Mark Kermode agreed to watch and review in exchange for a fan donation to charity. His review was brutal and frank: > **[Mark Kermode reviews Melania](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTyUni8dbkE%2F)** > > \#MarkKermode #SimonMayo #FilmReviewsAn intimate chronicle offers a rare glimpse into the life of Melania Trump, exploring her role as First Lady and her rela... BTW the top comment under that review on YouTube bears quoting: > I loved the part when Sigourney Weaver picked her up with a forklift and threw her out of the airlock. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/267 "2026-02-16T18:19:11Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > His review was brutal and frank: That was great. I’d never heard of him, but evidently he’s a well known British movie reviewer. While the link is to a video, the transcript is available there and it’s a quick, sadly hilarious read. He compares the movie unfavorably to Cannibal Holocaust. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2026, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/268 "2026-02-16T19:15:05Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > He compares the movie unfavorably to Cannibal Holocaust. And to _The Serbian Movie_ which I thought was much more insulting. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/269 "2026-02-17T03:03:00Z")
> [@carrps](#): > > And to _The Serbian Movie_ A much more definitive sequel to _A Serbian Film_? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/270 "2026-02-17T03:14:26Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > A much more definitive sequel to _A Serbian Film_?- Yeah, when I saw that in the transcript, I thought he was dissing Serbian movies - I didn’t know it was a title! ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/271 "2026-02-17T03:44:24Z")
I prefer _The Great Serbian Caper._ ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/272 "2026-02-17T04:24:16Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > The film I’m imagining consists simply of a series of still images of Melania doing Ultra-Rich-Folk things, like instructing the staff about table place settings, selecting tasteless but expensive artwork, firing the gardener with an imperious gesture because the roses are not to her liking, etc. But it would still be a hit if narrated by an appropriately obsequious sycophant – I’m thinking either Laura Loomer or Natalie Harp. Or an old school nature documentarist like Attenborough who plays it completely straight and never breaks character. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/273 "2026-02-17T04:39:18Z")
.., and _here_… in it’s native habitat… we find one of the few remaining examples of this species… the _gold-diggerus icequeenius_. Unique amongst primates in having almost no facial expressions whatever, it lives its life entirely as a parasite… clinging to the back of another species of parasite… the _billionaris narcissii_… ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/274 "2026-02-17T04:41:28Z")
^^^^^^^^ Needs “Like” button! 😁 It occurs to me that this film would be fertile ground for MST3K treatment! Either that, or cut the sound completely, and substitute appropriately snarky narration. This could be a real money maker for a creative individual or group. As a bonus, it would infuriate both the Orange One and the Gold Digger. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/275 "2026-02-17T05:05:18Z")
Excellent! Someone reshot the trailer for Melania with Miss Piggy instead of Melania. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/apZ8FaK61l4/maxresdefault.jpg "Quiet, Ms. Piggy - The Melania Trailer But Better") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apZ8FaK61l4) ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/276 "2026-02-17T05:40:34Z")
If you don’t know what “A Serbian Film” is about, keep it that way. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/277 "2026-02-17T07:56:59Z")
I could see it working like a [literal music video,](https://youtu.be/fsgWUq0fdKk?si=nKR5k0fbONKgqmeE) or a [Bad Lip Reading](https://youtu.be/b9hxwgH2tN0?si=dlDFDIsz9Ve63RuB) production. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/278 "2026-02-17T08:24:49Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > It occurs to me that this film would be fertile ground for MST3K treatment! Either that, or cut the sound completely, and substitute appropriately snarky narration. Heh. I’ve mentioned it before, but a sports bar I used to frequent, held “Cheesy Action Movie Nights” on Sundays, when business was typically slow (outside of NFL season, of course). There was a channel that would show Chuck Norris films and Sylvester Stallone films (not like _Rocky_, more like _Over the Top_ and _Death Race 2000_) and other action pictures on Sundays, and we’d watch with the sound off, supplying the dialogue ourselves. One of the guys was surprisingly good at imitating Stallone, and he always cracked us up. Sadly, Covid put an end to that sports bar, and our cheesy Sunday action movie nights, but your post reminded me that if we could get that old crowd together, and show _Melania_, it sounds like we’d have a field day with it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/279 "2026-02-17T09:41:53Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > He compares the movie unfavorably to Cannibal Holocaust. I should mention that Kermode is a big fan of Cannibal Holocaust (for what it is) and wrote his PhD dissertation on modern English and American horror fiction. > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > If you don’t know what “A Serbian Film” is about, keep it that way. I very strongly second this. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/280 "2026-02-17T15:29:40Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > I prefer _The Great Serbian Caper_ You should check out the story of a Serb emigrant, _Serbin’ USA_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=15)