# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/281 "2026-02-17T15:36:43Z")
Y’all have sure been serbing up some terrible puns here. Color me serbprised at just how far you’ll go to serbpass one another in awfulness. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/282 "2026-02-17T15:45:37Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I very strongly second this. As someone who just read the film’s wikipedia entry, I would recommend avoiding that, too. ---
**Author:** ![carrps](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carrps/32/2957_2.png) [@carrps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrps)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2026, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/283 "2026-02-17T16:06:30Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > A much more definitive sequel to _A Serbian Film_? Heh. Film. Movie. Whatevs. 🤪 ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2026, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/284 "2026-02-18T00:09:56Z")
When I heard about ASF, it reminded me of a review of “Pink Flamingos” that said, “John Waters must have gotten an idea that he wanted to make movies so bizarre, the critics would look like perverts for having sat through them.” Having seen “Pink Flamingos”, it’s TBH satire from start to finish. ASF appears to be gore and disgust for their own sake. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2026, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/285 "2026-02-18T04:12:07Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Having seen “Pink Flamingos”, it’s TBH satire from start to finish. ASF appears to be gore and disgust for their own sake. Nah, the director has stated the political meanings behind _A Serbian Film_ and how it relates to the censorship of the Serbian film industry. Whether or not you agree with his reasonings, it not _just_ gore with nothing else. (It’s also very well-made and acted.) I’m highly amused that a thread about Melania is now discussing A Serbian Film. 😆 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2026, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/286 "2026-02-18T11:45:01Z")
Hmmm… would they have more sales if they had called her movie _A Slovenian-American Film_? ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2026, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/287 "2026-02-21T02:31:11Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > I prefer _The Great Serbian Caper._ Or The Serbians Take Manhattan? ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2026, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/288 "2026-02-21T03:01:09Z")
_Melania_’s box office was 7.1 million during the first weekend and 2.3 million the second, a fall of 67%. Figures were inflated by an unknown amount by bulk ticket sales from mysterious benefactors (quite possibly the movie’s marketing budget, but also possibly various Republican outfits). Cumulative gross worldwide is now $16.1 million, with $279,000 coming from outside of the US. Full cost paid by Amazon was $75 million, which is a pittance relative to past and potential governmental contracts for [Blue Origin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Origin), one of billionaire Bezos’ other companies. Data from here: > **[President Donald Trump Claims Melania Is A Box Office Success – The Facts Say...](https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/movies/articles/president-donald-trump-claims-melania-181802372.html)** > > Donald Trump has boasted that Melania, the documentary about his wife, is a success, but the box office numbers and other objective metrics say otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2026, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/289 "2026-02-25T18:07:36Z")
Who didn’t want their music included? > **['Melania' movie producer reveals artists who refused to have music featured](https://www.aol.com/articles/melania-movie-producer-reveals-artists-154231793.html)** > > The producer of the "Melania" movie is pulling the curtain back on its buzzy soundtrack. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2026, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/290 "2026-02-25T21:43:38Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Who didn’t want their music included? That article is terrible. It seems to be siding with the filmmakers. “Why won’t people be in our movie? trump is barely in it!” Pobrecito! ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2026, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/291 "2026-02-25T22:08:27Z")
I checked the local theaters. In one, the exact same four seats are still being bought. But a lot of showings have no seats taken. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2026, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/292 "2026-02-25T23:36:05Z")
> “For example, the guys from Guns N’ Roses split down the middle politically. There was a beautiful song we wanted to use, and one of the guys – I don’t want to name, it’s not fair – said, ‘You got it. Go.’ And the other one was basically like, ‘There’s just no way.’” Now I’m curious. My instinct is that Axl Rose was the first guy and Slash was the second, but Axl has spoken out against Trump and forbidden him from using their music, while Slash has always played his politics close to the chest. So which was which? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2026, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/293 "2026-02-26T09:31:35Z")
Which one needs the royalties more? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2026, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/294 "2026-02-26T09:36:14Z")
The band has been doing stadium tours for the past decade. I don’t think any of them really need the cash. ---
**Author:** ![Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmer_j.fudd/32/1211_2.png) [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elmer_J.Fudd)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2026, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/295 "2026-02-26T15:08:40Z")
A lot of older artists don’t own the rights to their early songs, like the Rolling Stones. The fact they used “Gimme Shelter” (Rape! Murder!) as the theme song for Mar a Lago is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2026, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/296 "2026-02-26T17:22:31Z")
> [@Elmer\_J.Fudd](#): > > The fact they used “Gimme Shelter” (Rape! Murder!) as the theme song for Mar a Lago is hilarious. Yeah, **that** was my reaction. Like, guys, are you even LISTENING? And it’s even in English, come on… ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2026, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/297 "2026-02-27T02:56:24Z")
Their constant use of “Born in the USA” would point to no. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/298 "2026-03-12T01:17:19Z")
I heard or read somewhere that Bezos is claiming its the most watched thing on Netflix now, claiming Its popularity is like nothing he’s ever seen before. (O.K I made that last part up.) I can just see him sucking up to Trump with that sort of BS. ---
**Author:** ![JohnGalt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johngalt/32/184_2.png) [@JohnGalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnGalt)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/299 "2026-03-12T02:07:40Z")
Actually, it’s on Amazon Prime, which is of course owned by Bezos. I’d watch it (or a part of it) just out of curiosity, but I’d hate to bump up the number of viewers. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2026, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/300 "2026-03-12T02:17:44Z")
I wouldn’t watch it if I were trapped on an orbiting spaceship with snarky robot companions. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=16)