# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/21 "2026-01-31T17:06:51Z")
Like maybe “The Happier Hooker”? ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/22 "2026-01-31T17:09:55Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I think a movie with that plot _could_ be very interesting, if fictionalized and done with good writers and cast. It probably would be very depressing, or maybe a slapstick comedy. Melodrama, or screwball comedy from the 1930s or early 40s. Either way, Irene Dunne would have nailed it. If they could get him while he could still walk, Lionel Barrymore would be great as Trump either way as well. Jackie Cooper as Barron in the melodrama, Mickey Rooney in the comedy. Ernst Lubitsch could direct either way as well. ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/23 "2026-01-31T17:17:06Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > Frankly, I’m surprised anyone wants to see it. Maybe you are curious to see the interior decoration at Mar A Lago or Trump Tower. 🤷🏽 > [@solost](#): > > So I’m sure a good percentage of that $8 mill is Repub operatives purchasing whole rows at a time. Trump supporters buying token seats to show faux support for this token movie made to show faux support. It’s bribery all the way down. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/24 "2026-01-31T17:21:09Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > , if fictionalized and done with good writers John Steinbeck, East Of Epstein Arthur Haley, The Gold Diggers Ernest Hemmingway The Old Man and the Ho ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/25 "2026-01-31T17:35:09Z")
The very first review from a non-critic (five star of course!): “A fantastic flick, our theater was sold out and erupted in applause and cheers at the end of the show. Melania is a wonderful human, a class act and America is blessed she is once again our First Lady. This behind the scenes sneak peek was so well done and such a wonderful watch. A must see.” Just try to find a sold-out theater showing this film that isn’t a very small private showing, I dare you. BTW, an amazing number of “reviews” talk about her, but never mention the movie at all. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/26 "2026-01-31T17:47:44Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Well, they _think_ good things will follow. But Trump believes in accepting tribute, not in providing value for money. He also lives and dies on “ratings”, so making a movie for him that’s a complete flop will enrage him. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/27 "2026-01-31T17:48:57Z")
> [@Lizzie1210](#): > > I personally cannot image a duller subject for a feature film than a jaded and soul selling immigrant who married a disgusting rich guy to secure her future. One of the critics on RT called it “a tedious and criminally shallow propaganda puff piece”. And that was one of the **kinder** reviews! 😁 ---
**Author:** ![SuntanLotion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suntanlotion/32/16165_2.png) [@SuntanLotion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanLotion)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/28 "2026-01-31T18:07:58Z")
I might actually consider a Kardashiaan film. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/29 "2026-01-31T18:10:31Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Just try to find a sold-out theater showing this film that isn’t a very small private showing, I dare you. There are reports (including in various threads here) that someone (likely, Trump supporters or local Republican organizations) is, in fact, buying large numbers of tickets for showings, and possibly giving the tickets out to Trump supporters, to goose the attendance figures. Of course, it’s also possible that the person who wrote that glowing review made it up entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/30 "2026-01-31T18:18:32Z")
Of course operatives are buying blocks of tickets to curry favor with Trump. Did anyone expect anything else? This was probably driven by earlier social media posts laughing about the low ticket sales. It’s likely that the word got out “Buy blocks of tickets, or else Dear Leader will be angry” Welcome to the New North Korea. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/31 "2026-01-31T18:20:07Z")
What’s funny is Trump is gonna say it was a mega hit and raked in more money than Titanic. Bigly. Of course. No matter the real statistics. It **will** be a hit with MAGA types. One day tho’ it will play on some third rate movie channel. That MAGA person is gonna watch and realize how stoopid they were. Can’t wait. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/32 "2026-01-31T18:20:22Z")
I just checked IMDb, expecting the movie to have high ratings due to frantic voting by demented Trumpists. Strangely, so far it seems to be largely ignored – it has no rating at the moment, and no reviews. Whereas on RT, as mentioned, it’s totally panned by critics, and praised to high heaven by the MAGA rabble. What warms my heart is that the MAGA rabble is so ineffably stupid that they have very short attention spans, so if and when they go to see this, they may pretend to like it, but I’m certain they’ll be insufferably bored, because by all accounts it’s poorly made and pretty much a content-free vanity piece. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/33 "2026-01-31T18:32:32Z")
Some people are being paid to watch. > **[Attend MELANIA documentary- Free tickets + $50!!! - event gigs - craigslist](https://boston.craigslist.org/gbs/evg/d/boston-attend-melania-documentary-free/7911560682.html)** > > \*\*\*\*\*\*\*UPDATE PLEASE READ\*\*\*\*\*\*\* Thank you for your interest in “Melania: Twenty Days to History.” We had an incredible response to this offer and were excited to provide true American Patriots the... $50 to see this? Make it $500 and I might consider it. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/34 "2026-01-31T18:32:34Z")
Remember-High reviews do not, in any possible way, equate to a high _number_ of reviews. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/35 "2026-01-31T18:36:23Z")
I wouldn’t pay for it, but might possibly watch an MST3K version of “Melania”. 😆 ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/36 "2026-01-31T18:36:47Z")
People need to take a minute and read that listing in its (very brief) entirety. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/37 "2026-01-31T18:40:04Z")
If it was already entirely sold out (as claimed) why would you need to pay people to see it? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/38 "2026-01-31T18:59:44Z")
That made me vomit in my mouth a little. (The article, not you @Czarcasm ) ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/39 "2026-01-31T19:02:33Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If it was already entirely sold out (as claimed) why would you need to pay people to see it? Because otherwise the already paid for seats would be empty. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2026, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/40 "2026-01-31T19:04:31Z")
Ahh! That make sense. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=3)