# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![gkster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gkster/32/14107_2.png) [@gkster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gkster)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/81 "2026-02-01T07:22:29Z")
From Maureen Dowd’s NYT piece, titled “Slovenian Sphinx Flick Nixed!”: "Some theaters showing “Melania” were so empty that wags suggested that undocumented immigrants should hide out there. Reviews are brutal: The Independent [said](https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/reviews/melania-trump-movie-review-documentary-b2911108.html) the first lady came across as “a preening, scowling void of pure nothingness in this ghastly bit of propaganda.” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/82 "2026-02-01T08:03:38Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > But would you be able to remain in your seat for the duration? For $500? Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![duality72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duality72/32/3910_2.png) [@duality72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duality72)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/83 "2026-02-01T09:04:06Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > If I wanted to watch a movie about a hooker who fucks and then marries a Russian asset for money, I could watch “Anora” again. I can’t plus one, so I 👏. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/84 "2026-02-01T09:25:14Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > If she gets an Oscar rather than him it will be very unfair. This movie is definitely gonna sweep the Razzies, though. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/85 "2026-02-01T09:30:05Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > the movie is just about the 20 days leading up the inauguration. I was wondering what this movie could be about. Even a show about nothing would be more interesting. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/86 "2026-02-01T10:10:32Z")
> [@PlaceboTarget](#): > > I was wondering what this movie could be about. So was I. I’m thinking that a biopic is typically about a person famous for achieving something. _Bohemian Rhapsody_ for Freddie Mercury of Queen, _Oppenheimer_ for Robert Oppenheimer, _La Bamba_ about Ritchie Valens, _Jobs_ for Steve Jobs. The list goes on, but those are enough for now. Point is, that each of those achieved something: music like nobody had heard before, the nuclear bomb, fame at a very young age, and a new kind of computer, respectively. I have not seen _Melania_, but from what I understand from those who have, it concerns her activities in the twenty days leading up to Trump’s second inaugural. Place settings, menus, choosing an outfit for inaugural balls—sorry, but these activities are not on par with the groundbreaking “Bohemian Rhapsody” or inventing a device that can destroy the world. It sounds like the _Seinfeld_ of movies: a film about nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/87 "2026-02-01T10:44:49Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I’m thinking that a biopic is typically about a person famous for achieving something Except that it isn’t a biopic. A biopic is a drama, with actors following a script. It recreates (supposedly) true events, but isn’t a recording of them. A biopic may closely follow the facts, or it may diverge from them considerably, but it is always essentially a work of fiction. > [@Spoons](#): > > I have not seen _Melania_, but from what I understand from those who have, it concerns her activities in the twenty days leading up to Trump’s second inaugural. Place settings, menus, choosing an outfit for inaugural balls—sorry, but these activities are not on par with the groundbreaking “Bohemian Rhapsody” or inventing a device that can destroy the world. This is called a [fly-on-the-wall documentary](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fly_on_the_wall). It’s quite a common format. It records events as they happen. The events are often quite mundane, and the persons are sometimes quite ordinary that you’ve never heard of. That, in itself, does not make a bad film. Not defending it. I’m sure the subject matter is so unpleasant it can’t be good. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/88 "2026-02-01T11:01:09Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > It sounds like the _Seinfeld_ of movies: a film about nothing. Without the jokes ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/89 "2026-02-01T11:19:22Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Without the jokes So, just like Seinfeld, then. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/90 "2026-02-01T11:53:03Z")
IMHO Seinfeld has jokes. Almost none are funny. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/91 "2026-02-01T12:11:30Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > It sounds like the _Seinfeld_ of movies: a film about nothing. We’re usually pretty much on the same page on most issues, but I must very strongly disagree with you here, my friend. _Seinfeld_ self-deprecatingly referred to itself as a series “about nothing”, but it was actually a very clever and insightful take on the challenges and foibles of everyday life. Whereas this movie is worse than nothing; it’s a preening content-free self-serving propaganda piece about a Slovenian gold-digger. Yes, for $500 (amounting to $250 an hour) I’d sit through it, but only if I was mercifully anesthetized first. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/92 "2026-02-01T14:01:28Z")
Melania does seem to maintain the same policy for her life that Larry David did for “Seinfeld”: “No learning, no hugging.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/93 "2026-02-01T14:45:23Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I’m thinking that a biopic is typically about a person famous for achieving something. To add on to something Peter Morris said, many of the best documentaries that have ever been committed to film are just people going about their lives; a documentary is often just a focus on a conventional aspect of the human experience, as distinct from a biopic, which is a dramatic presentation that follows a traditional dramatic arc. “Gates of Heaven” would be the classic example; it’s an examination of ordinary life, and yet it’s deeply touching. When that lady says, of dead pets, “but where’s the thing that makes it MOVE?” it brings tears to my eyes. This examination of a mundane event (a pet cemetery being moved) reveals elements of love, grief and loss, universal truths that bond us all. I have zero illusions “Melania” will attain the heights of meaning or poignancy of that. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/94 "2026-02-01T15:18:33Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Trump operatives buying up seats apparently can’t be everywhere at once. They just can’t keep up! At least in Phoenix (and i assume everywhere) you can buy tickets using your phone app. So these paid operatives can buy these tickets from Washington, or Moscow. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/95 "2026-02-01T18:04:38Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > I’m pretty sure this is the lowest movie rating I’ve ever seen. Perhaps, but there are [44 movies with a rating of 0%](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_films_with_a_0%25_rating_on_Rotten_Tomatoes). > [@Moriarty](#): > > > [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > > > Frankly, I’m surprised anyone wants to see it. > > Maybe you are curious to see the interior decoration at Mar A Lago or Trump Tower. 🤷🏽 Why? There are plenty of photos showing the current Oval Office. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/96 "2026-02-01T18:42:19Z")
> [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](#): > > So these paid operatives can buy these tickets from Washington, or Moscow. I just checked online at Harkins Superstition Springs. It’s got about six showings today and I checked the 4:30 and 7:10 showtimes, figuring those would be when most ordinary people would go. The 7:10 showing had one pair of seats together, the 4:10 had twelve, eight in pairs scattered here and there, and a block of four. It would appear in that theater, east Mesa being deep MAGA country (Andy Biggs being the rep there) there are no bot sales. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/97 "2026-02-01T18:48:18Z")
A slight hijack: I haven’t lived in the United States for a while. Back when I did, and for years after that, Americans (at least here on this board) seemed generally opposed to the concept of reserved seating in movie theaters. In this thread, though, I’ve learned then reserved seating is now standard practice. When did the change take place? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/98 "2026-02-01T18:51:15Z")
Around here, the Covid era. ---
**Author:** ![MikeF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@MikeF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeF)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/99 "2026-02-01T18:53:26Z")
That listing is hilarious! “It should go on one those Best/Worst of Craigslist” threads. BTW, I didn’t know that CL was still a thing. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/100 "2026-02-01T18:58:52Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > Around here, the Covid era. Before then, at least here in the Chicago area. I’ve only been to a theater twice since COVID, but assigned seats, and pre-booking, had been the norm at the big chains here (Marcus, AMC, etc.) for at least five years before COVID, maybe a bit longer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=6)