# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/101 "2026-02-01T20:08:30Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > Around here, the Covid era. Way before that for the big chains in NYC. AMC started reserved seating for **all** their locations in September 2016 though some were doing that for several years prior. (Most indie theaters here _still_ have unreserved seating though.) ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/102 "2026-02-01T20:39:54Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I haven’t lived in the United States for a while. Back when I did, and for years after that, Americans (at least here on this board) seemed generally opposed to the concept of reserved seating in movie theaters. In this thread, though, I’ve learned then reserved seating is now standard practice. When did the change take place? Around the same time that we all stopped going to theaters anyways, IME ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/103 "2026-02-01T20:41:39Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Back when I did, and for years after that, Americans (at least here on this board) seemed generally opposed to the concept of reserved seating in movie theaters. In this thread, though, I’ve learned then reserved seating is now standard practice. When did the change take place? Kinda off-topic to the discussion of this disastrous piece of vainglorious conceit, but in my experience reserved seating was associated with upgraded movie theaters with large screens and more comfortable seating than the norm – something more like first class airliner seats rather than typical theater seats. ---
**Author:** ![Babale](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/babale/32/15666_2.png) [@Babale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babale)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/104 "2026-02-01T20:45:02Z")
> [@gkster](#): > > "Some theaters showing “Melania” were so empty that wags suggested that undocumented immigrants should hide out there. I saw a meme in two parts. The first panel had some anime guys about to fight; one of them says “let’s go fight somewhere empty”. They’re in the desert, so the implication is they need somewhere even emptier than a desert. The next panel shows them fighting in a theater that’s showing _Melania_. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/105 "2026-02-01T20:51:05Z")
The box office receipts shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. After all, there still seem to be a lot of people buying the banners, hats, NFTs, and other graft-tokens. Why not movie tickets? (My personal favorite is the hats with the math problem on the side, you know the ones. They say “45-47”. Every time I see one, I think, “Yeah, ‘minus 2’ is about right.”) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/106 "2026-02-01T21:28:23Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > AMC started reserved seating for **all** their locations in September 2016 Oh, yeah. I’d forgotten them. I utilize Harkins, our local chain, for movie going. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/107 "2026-02-01T22:31:47Z")
> [@ricepad](#): > > The box office receipts shouldn’t be that much of a surprise. After all, there still seem to be a lot of people buying the banners, hats, NFTs, and other graft-tokens. Why not movie tickets? > > (My personal favorite is the hats with the math problem on the side, you know the ones. They say “45-47”. Every time I see one, I think, “Yeah, ‘minus 2’ is about right.”) To add an aside to your “45-47” comment, I secretly hoped that Biden would resign somewhere between Election Day and January 20, just so Harris would be 47, rendering all of Trump’s 47 merchandise even more worthless. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2026, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/108 "2026-02-01T22:55:40Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > No he’ll secretly love it. He’s competitive and unkind. It will affirm to him that he’s more popular and important than Melania. > He would have been inwardly enraged if “Melania” was a smash. … > [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > If she gets an Oscar rather than him it will be very unfair. If the Academy decided Donald was losing his power to the extent that trolling him was safe, this would be the most epic of all trolls. Reportedly he still resents the fact that he never got an Emmy—to an obsessive degree. If Melania got an Oscar and didn’t hand it over to him…just took it to her home in New York City and didn’t even let him hold it… We are talking _massive_ stroke. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/109 "2026-02-02T02:21:23Z")
Why don’t they have a special screening at The Kennedy Center? They could open with the J6 Choir singing _Deutschlandlied_. ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/110 "2026-02-02T02:44:40Z")
> [@Si\_Amigo](#): > > I just have to wonder if anyone in the Trump universe had ever seen Citizen Kane? You know, the part where he builds his talentless second wife an opera house and she flops terribly. Someone definitely has: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/aeQOJZ-QzBk/hqdefault.jpg "Donald Trump Movie Review - Orson Welles' - " Citizen Kane "") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeQOJZ-QzBk) ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/111 "2026-02-02T02:55:56Z")
> [@ricepad](#): > > Why don’t they have a special screening at The Kennedy Center? They did: > **[Melania Trump documentary 'Melania' to premiere at Kennedy Center](https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Culture/melania-trump-documentary-melania-premiere-kennedy-center-ahead/story?id=129667776)** > > The documentary looks at the 20 days leading up to President Donald Trump's 2025 inauguration. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/112 "2026-02-02T03:16:06Z")
Gah. In my zeal to be pithy, I somehow missed that important detail! ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/113 "2026-02-02T03:18:11Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > Someone definitely has: WTF? At first I thought it was AI. But it’s over ten years old. They couldn’t do it with AI back then, could they? It is some sort of fake, though? ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/114 "2026-02-02T03:23:42Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > It is some sort of fake, though? It was an Oscar promotion by Errol Morris. > **[Errol Morris on Donald Trump’s Takeaway From ‘Citizen Kane’](https://www.theringer.com/2017/12/01/pop-culture/errol-morris-donald-trump-citizen-kane-big-picture)** > > The documentarian discussed the president’s irony deficit on ‘The Big Picture’ ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/115 "2026-02-02T03:41:31Z")
So Melania took in $7 million during its opening weekend. Amazon spent $40 million on the film and $35 million on marketing (=$75 million). Given possibility of bot-buying, all numbers are suspect, but here are the reported demographics: > Ticket sales were driven by women and moviegoers over 55, with both demographics accounting for 70% or more of receipts. Additionally, rural theaters represented 46% of total box office grosses, according to EntTelligence data. Typically, these theaters, which operate in areas with populations of fewer than 500,000 people, account for around 30% of movie ticket sales. > **['Melania' earns a surprising $7 million, best non-music documentary debut in...](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/02/01/melania-documentary-posts-7-million-domestic-opening.html)** > > Amazon reportedly paid an estimated $40 million to acquire 'Melania' and spent an additional $35 million on marketing. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/116 "2026-02-02T04:03:11Z")
Wel, the opening weekend box office numbers are in. > **['Melania' earns a surprising $7 million, best non-music documentary debut in...](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/02/01/melania-documentary-posts-7-million-domestic-opening.html)** > > Amazon reportedly paid an estimated $40 million to acquire 'Melania' and spent an additional $35 million on marketing. It’s not the $24 million opening weekend that _Fahrenheit 9/11_ took in, and it will never break even at this rate, but all five Oscar nominees for 2025 Best Documentary combined took in less than $100,000 in their opening weekend, and probably made less than $7 million total at the box office. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/117 "2026-02-02T04:35:24Z")
Our local rep in Lexington–a vigorous fellator of Trump who is running for Mitch McConnell’s Senate seat–bought out a showing on Friday night and offered up free tickets with free drinks and popcorn. I was tempted to get absolutely hammered and go but 1.) God only knows what kind of lists I’d have ended up on, since they probably wouldn’t have let me sign up as Bopha D. Snutts, and 2.) the chance of being shot if one runs afoul of these people is nonzero. I was at a different multiplex later that night to see Marty Supreme and I popped my head in to what would have been a seven-something showing. There were six people there. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/118 "2026-02-02T04:40:57Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > Our local rep in Lexington–a vigorous fellator of Trump who is running for Mitch McConnell’s Senate seat–bought out a showing on Friday night and offered up free tickets with free drinks and popcorn. Report him for running an unauthorized political rally, and inform the theater what will happen if he tries it again. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/119 "2026-02-02T04:44:26Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > and inform the theater what will happen if he tries it again The theater bears no responsibility for who sees movies as long as they’re old enough. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/120 "2026-02-02T04:47:39Z")
Yeah. I would still check to see if running an unauthorized political rally is allowed, and the theater can’t claim ignorance if a single politician bought all the tickets. What most assures one that something just can’t be done is when nobody tries to do something. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=7)