# The Melania movie reviews are in! (they're not good) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [January 31, 2026, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227 "2026-01-31T15:30:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/141 "2026-02-02T18:18:35Z")
I just perused a few recent posts on his (Nick Adams’s) Facebook page. The conclusion I reached? F\*\*\*\*\*\* RW idiot. ---
**Author:** ![steronz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steronz/32/11765_2.png) [@steronz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/steronz)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/142 "2026-02-02T18:29:51Z")
For what it’s worth, Nick Adams is a legitimate right-winger, but he’s also an incredibly talented “meta-troll.” He’s embraced Poe’s law and has adopted the language of satire accounts because they work to get him engagement, and he’s really, really good at it. [Big Joel explains in a short 3 minute video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4upDya5PQ8Q) ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/143 "2026-02-02T18:35:04Z")
Watched it. Thanks. I side with this – from the video’s comments: > American Conservatives are indistinguishable from parodies of American Conservatives. Meaning: I remain unconvinced. ---
**Author:** ![Horatius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horatius/32/3572_2.png) [@Horatius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatius)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/144 "2026-02-02T18:36:55Z")
> [@Chelonaut](#): > > A screenshot of that post has also made the round on several subreddits. The OOP is Nick Adams, who is the new US ambassador to Malaysia. So if he’s a troll, he is in deep, deep cover (like under a bridge, which is under another bridge etc.) and in for the long haul. No cover needed, he was known for being a troll before he became an ambassador. > **[Nick Adams (commentator) | Rhetorical style](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Adams_(commentator)#Rhetorical_style)** > > Adams is known for his use of social media and has been described as a "Twitter troll". On Twitter, he has described himself as a "wildly successful alpha male", claimed that Donald Trump has "a better backhand than Roger Federer" and said "raise your children to be like Kid Rock and Kyle Rittenhouse, NOT Taylor Swift and Harry Styles!" > Luke Winkie, writing for Slate, said that beginning in 2022, "I and a great number of other people outside of \[Adams'\] target demographic have noticed a fascina... This is just the world we live in now. People like this are rewarded with actual government jobs. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/145 "2026-02-02T18:41:38Z")
I’m going to stick up for the First Lady. At her price point, she’s no whore, hooker, nor even prostitute. She’s a courtesan. Same business, different wrapping. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/146 "2026-02-02T19:08:58Z")
Kennedy Center closed for next two years to repair bomb damage… from the film. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/147 "2026-02-02T19:40:31Z")
> [@ricepad](#): > > She’s a courtesan. Same business, different wrapping. “At this point, we’re just haggling over the price.” ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/148 "2026-02-02T20:13:45Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Kennedy Center closed for next two years to repair bomb damage… from the film. And the Oscar for the entire internet goes to… ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/149 "2026-02-02T20:15:48Z")
> [@Babale](#): > > > [@Alessan](#): > > > > I haven’t lived in the United States for a while. Back when I did, and for years after that, Americans (at least here on this board) seemed generally opposed to the concept of reserved seating in movie theaters. In this thread, though, I’ve learned then reserved seating is now standard practice. When did the change take place? > > Around the same time that we all stopped going to theaters anyways, IME This. I’m sorry to “me too” opposed but I cannot think of a better one to \* ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/150 "2026-02-02T20:17:44Z")
Are there any sites out there comparing tickets sold to actual attendance? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/151 "2026-02-02T20:19:45Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > _Melania_ is getting 6% on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics, vs. 99% from the (apparently _very_ small) audience. That’s a difference of 93 percentage points between the critics and the movie-watching public. A decade ago, [we discussed the gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/rotten-tomatoes-the-largest-gap-between-critics-and-users/674072/9) between critic reviews and general-public reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and it appeared at the time that the film with the greatest gap between the twain was _[Hating Breitbart](https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/hating_breitbart)_, also a political movie. > > Also, it appears that the movie is flopping, hard - even by January cinema standards. But apparently not as hard as the industry expected it to flop: it’s done $8 million so far, in spite of expectations that it would do $1-5 million. > > [Box office: ‘Melania’ pacing for $8 million opening weekend](https://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/box-office-melania-pacing-for-8-million-opening-weekend/ar-AA1VlMN6?ocid=BingNewsSerp) This. I am sorry for "me too"ing a post… But there is no better than "me too"ing a post .. than this one. I have not attended a movie since about the year 2016, and yet I do not remember required seating. ---
**Author:** ![Chelonaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@Chelonaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chelonaut)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/152 "2026-02-02T20:28:59Z")
> [@steronz](#): > > For what it’s worth, Nick Adams is a legitimate right-winger, but he’s also an incredibly talented “meta-troll.” He’s embraced Poe’s law and has adopted the language of satire accounts because they work to get him engagement, and he’s really, really good at it. Apart from the post about the Zoolandia-ditching small girls, I saw another one about him overhearing four liberal looking young women gushing over Melania and her movie. It was as a screenshot in some subreddit like r/thathappened but I can’t find it now that I’m looking. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/153 "2026-02-02T20:31:53Z")
> [@Chelonaut](#): > > Zoolandia Is that the one about animals who are really, really, ridiculously good looking? ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/154 "2026-02-02T20:40:29Z")
[![](https://scontent-den2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t51.82787-15/626794962_18520088092068850_1593201040061418446_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s640x640_tt6&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=kNhC0O3PxkcQ7kNvwHHDas7&_nc_oc=AdlnaFaWPUJdOpR8cAsihdCUMhxZPlftJ9l-ULn9vSHmu9tHf8VQzlcUVyZG7hokSEigrqcmGzstyQwEPOUA0Jtd&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-den2-1.xx&_nc_gid=QVgENiMdthE6H4OnizPBVw&oh=00_AfuieAvlPEKs2izkYRKHbeiJYczCjDNKFwgrrMxDzIYv-g&oe=6986C702) ](https://scontent-den2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t51.82787-15/626794962_18520088092068850_1593201040061418446_n.jpg?stp=dst-jpg_s640x640_tt6&_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=127cfc&_nc_ohc=kNhC0O3PxkcQ7kNvwHHDas7&_nc_oc=AdlnaFaWPUJdOpR8cAsihdCUMhxZPlftJ9l-ULn9vSHmu9tHf8VQzlcUVyZG7hokSEigrqcmGzstyQwEPOUA0Jtd&_nc_zt=23&_nc_ht=scontent-den2-1.xx&_nc_gid=QVgENiMdthE6H4OnizPBVw&oh=00_AfuieAvlPEKs2izkYRKHbeiJYczCjDNKFwgrrMxDzIYv-g&oe=6986C702) ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/155 "2026-02-02T20:49:40Z")
I’ll take “Things that Never Happened” for $1000, Ken. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/156 "2026-02-02T20:50:30Z")
Adams is quite a talented fiction writer, isn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/157 "2026-02-02T20:54:33Z")
> [@DavidNRockies](#): > > > [@ricepad](#): > > > > Why don’t they have a special screening at The Kennedy Center? > > They did: Apparently open to brownnosers only. > **[Amazon Blocks Mainstream Press From Watching ‘Melania’ Documentary at Kennedy...](https://variety.com/2026/film/news/melania-documentary-premiere-amazon-blocks-press-1236645317/)** > > After a red carpet attended by Donald and Melania Trump, mainstream media were banned from attending a screening of Amazon MGM's Melania documentary. > by 6:30 p.m., when members of the administration began walking the carpet, it became clear that most of the mainstream press would be blocked from attending the Amazon MGM Studios film. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/158 "2026-02-02T20:56:24Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > I’ll take “Things that Never Happened” for $1000, Ken. Even though they only exist in his head, those six obviously were MAGA to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/159 "2026-02-02T21:17:30Z")
Sez Nick Adams: “I think this film just secured the female vote for the GOP in the midterms”. I wonder how Nick reconciles this allegedly cataclysmic impact of the film with the fact that almost no one has seen it, and no one outside the MAGAsphere has any interest in seeing it. And even if everybody in the USA was forced to watch it, I don’t see how “Slovenian hooker plans table settings” is a real vote-getter for the GOP. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2026, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227/160 "2026-02-02T21:27:13Z")
I like how he has to specify that he was getting a “hot black coffee”, lest someone suspect him of enjoying effete European breakfast beverages. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-melania-movie-reviews-are-in-theyre-not-good/1027227.md?page=9)