# The men's bathroom at work is a crime scene! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749 "2000-06-27T18:42:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/1 "2000-06-27T18:42:08Z")
Or something. They have that yellow striped emergency tape across the door cop-style and a BIG sign that says “OUT OF ORDER. DO NOT ENTER.” I shudder to think what lies behind that tape… ---
**Author:** ![soulsling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@soulsling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulsling)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/2 "2000-06-27T18:45:31Z")
mens lavatorys can be very devastating **swiddles** , don’t even try to imagine whats causing that yellow tape to be put up there. some men think it a manly thing that we cause this to happen sometimes. but in all honesty, don’t even try to imagine, unless your a fecopheliac or something. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/3 "2000-06-27T18:47:38Z")
I don’t even want to go into what a horror our ladies room is here at work . . . Thank goodness I don’t have to share an apartment with these slatterns! I mean, how difficult is it to understand “Don’t flush your . . .” Oh, I can’t even finish the sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/4 "2000-06-27T18:54:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*I mean, how difficult is it to understand “Don’t flush your . . .” Oh, I can’t even finish the sentence. > \*\* [hijack]I’m glad this happens at other companies and it’s not just mine!! I can’t believe how stupid some people can be! The women that I work with have no shame about going into the bathroom and farting or taking a dump and then spraying a shitload of that nasty lemon spray to try to mask the shit smell so the next people to walk into the bathroom have a lovely lemon/shit aroma to smell!![/hijack] I’ve never been in a men’s room so I don’t really have a comment for that. I can’t imagine what would cause them to put up the OUT OF ORDER. DO NOT ENTER. Hopefully it’s just a leak! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/5 "2000-06-27T18:59:43Z")
Men’s restrooms are some of the most disgusting places in the world. The lemon/shit aroma would, in most cases, be favorable to the overpowering stench that lies therein. Today, for instance, I was in there, washing my hands. First, the sound hit. Mind you, this was from behind a door, around a corner about 15 feet away. It echoed. The smell hit shortly thereafer, coupled with more of the wet, fruity blasts. I gagged, and had to leave the room with wet hands. As I opened the door to escape, he let loose again. People stopped in their cubes, and looked at the door to see what the hell happened. I hate it in there, and I would rather go outside on a tree. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/6 "2000-06-27T19:06:18Z")
maybe they just have a problem with the plumbing? have to admit, we guys aren’t too fastidious on the whole, especially when we stand… ---
**Author:** ![Myndephuquer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@Myndephuquer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myndephuquer)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/7 "2000-06-27T19:14:57Z")
Do you work at [Ryan’s Steak House](http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html)? This story is funny as hell!! Please check out the link, but not during lunch or dinner. It never fails to make my friends and me laugh. It may answer the question posed in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/8 "2000-06-27T19:27:16Z")
**Myndephuquer** , while I have seen that one before, it is still hysterical. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/9 "2000-06-27T19:31:36Z")
Was it “Boys in the Band” that had this exchange? “Ewww, it smells like someone threw up in the bathroom!” “Here, use this pine spray.” “Ewww, now it smells like someone threw up in a pine forest!” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/10 "2000-06-27T19:48:50Z")
oh…dear…God. I honestly thought I was going to start laughing hysterically. Tears were pooling in the corners of my eye. That is the godammed funniest thing I have read in quite some time, Myndephuquer. How does one nominate a Wierd Earls? No, I work for a multi-national computer company who has three letters for a name. And they’re not HAL. ---
**Author:** ![InTheStars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@InTheStars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InTheStars)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/11 "2000-06-27T20:15:46Z")
Oh my goodness - that link was so hilarious - I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud and not fall out of my chair, since I have already gotten in trouble at work for giggling with fellow coworkers!! Really, thanks guys! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/12 "2000-06-27T20:47:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Was it “Boys in the Band” that had this exchange? > > “Ewww, it smells like someone threw up in the bathroom!” > > “Here, use this pine spray.” > > “Ewww, now it smells like someone threw up in a pine forest!” > \*\* ROFL! That reminds me of the time at one of my theaters when some brat threw up an entire half pound of Twizzlers. The smell was not to be believed, and even after we’d swept up the sawdust and mopped the area, you could still smell it. We ended up dumping an entire gallon jug of “Pine-All Cleaner” behind the back row of seats and let it trickle down the auditorium. That got rid of the puke smell, but was burning the hair off everyone’s nostrils. We had to open the emergency exits and crank up the fans. Wow, that was some stinkin’ puke! ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/13 "2000-06-27T20:53:17Z")
Umm, you know, sometimes people have to move their bowels when they are away from home - sorry it makes funny sounds and bad smells, but hey, you are in the bathroom, not the Queen’s court! I have no gripe with people who perform bodily functions in public restrooms, even if it does sometimes smell bad. However, why can’t you wait the extra three seconds to make sure all your feces (or that tampon) have been completely flushed? There is nothing more disgusting! ---
**Author:** ![Cynical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5fc32e/32.png) [@Cynical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical1)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/14 "2000-06-27T21:07:46Z")
All men’s bathrooms are crime scenes. Fercryingoutloud! You know what they call men who keep bathrooms clean and nice? Neither do I 'cause none do. Now explain again why I can’t use the little towels in the bathroom… ---
**Author:** ![Mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mojo)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/15 "2000-06-27T21:15:56Z")
A while back, one of my coworkers returned from using the bathroom and had a weird look on his face. When I asked why, he said that the person in the stall next to him was enjoying a bucket of KFC while going about his business. I know the saying is “don’t shit where you eat” but it seems to me that the inverse should also be true. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/16 "2000-06-27T21:26:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Men’s restrooms are some of the most disgusting places in the world. The lemon/shit aroma would, in most cases, be favorable to the overpowering stench that lies therein. > \*\* Well, what would you have the men in your office do? Use the bathroom somewhere OTHER than the bathroom? I don’t have a problem with someone taking a particularly loud and rancid smelling dump in the bathroom- I mean, where else are they supposed to do it? What I have a problem with are bathrooms where I’m walking funny so I don’t slip & fall into the gigantic puddle of urine on the floor. I can’t understand how someone can miss a urinal of all things! With a toilet there’s some aim involved, but not with urinals! ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/17 "2000-06-27T21:40:42Z")
A male friend here at work had me laughing for days over one bit of intentional theatre he did (he said it was stolen from a John Laroquette skit). Our Men’s room is known for being incredibly unclean and often filled with the stench of death (don’t ask _me_, I’ve never been in it). So one day, he came running out of the Men’s room, turned around with this most _hideous_ expression on his face, and said loudly “_People_ did that!? _Human beings_ did that!? I didn’t think _bears_ would do that!” Still makes me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/18 "2000-06-27T22:14:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > mens lavatorys can be very devastating **swiddles** , don’t even try to imagine whats causing that yellow tape to be put up there. \*\* Hmm…sounds like you’ve never seen a women’s bathroom SoulSling 🙂 -Sam ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/19 "2000-06-27T22:20:24Z")
Lucky me! I get to go into public restrooms and spray for bugs all day! _Livin’ la vida loca_ ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749/20 "2000-06-28T12:15:59Z")
After dragging my sorry ass into work this morning, I was much dismayed and horrified to see that the emergency tape is STILL up. If it is a leak, it is a godammed swimming pool. For the first time in my life, I can honestly say that it’s easier to be a woman. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mens-bathroom-at-work-is-a-crime-scene/23749.md?page=2)