# The Mermaid **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 27, 2002, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201 "2002-06-27T08:24:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/41 "2002-06-28T04:35:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > **That’s because you actually have decent beer. The swill we have to suffer with is pretty much only good for killing slugs.** Nonsense! Nonsense, I say. My darling **bobkitty** , we do _so_ have decent beer here in our sometimes-fair nation. I’m drinking some now, as a matter of fact: Anchor Steam. Yummy. And there’s a whole sixer of Red Hook IPA in the fridge as well. There is good beer in America. It just doesn’t come in cans. 😉 Sorry to perpetuate this hijack, but the quarrel referenced in the OP really _does_ seem to be a whole lot of noise over nothing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/42 "2002-06-28T04:37:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bobkitty \* > Now, **Galen** , I’ve got a nice assortment of muffins if you’ll share your apple juice. Do you have a preference? I picked the blueberries in these over here myself… Blueberry would be lovely, thanks. Oh, the OP? You don’t think I’m going to get in the middle of this, do you? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/43 "2002-06-28T04:45:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by London\_Calling \* > \*\* > Only if you fish december’s rug out of the hot tub. > > \\*\* Oh for heaven’s sake, here, I fished the grungy thing out for you. I pull nastier things out of my bathtub drain all the time (it’s a wonder I have any hair left on my head, what with enough hair to make a gerbil going down the drain every time I wash my hair). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/44 "2002-06-28T05:55:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nightime \* > \*\*Mermaid: > > Of course, you probably realize that you were wrong, and would have admitted it, but that would have meant that you wouldn’t have the chance to use your carefully mentally composed bile! > > \*\* Thanks for the compliment. I knew my engrish book learnings would come in handy for sumpin. (but since I just can’t seem to leave my english tutoring days behind, allow me to suggest that the phrase would be more coherent if worded as “carefully composed mental bile”) With all due respect Nightime, bite me. I have made it clear tht I did not intend to say all of that together and was in the process of editing my response. Both replies lumped together just makes me sound like a bitch on wheels now doesn’t it. Either quote me in context or leave my words the fuck alone. I did say I was a bit jumpy and it is true because I am sick of people taking every little minor occourance and turnig it into a big deal. I don’t think my comments, which I felt were basically along the lines of “if you can’t say something nice to someone then don’t say anything at all” were nearly inflammatory enough to warrant being called an uptight, unloved cunt with a stick up her ass. Now bobkitty, did you say you had muffins? I’ll bring the butter. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/45 "2002-06-28T10:07:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Now bobkitty, did you say you had muffins? I’ll bring the butter. \ Here ya go. Sorry, only banananana nut left. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/46 "2002-06-28T14:11:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\* > Oh for heaven’s sake, here, I fished the grungy thing out for you. I pull nastier things out of my bathtub drain all the time (it’s a wonder I have any hair left on my head, what with enough hair to make a gerbil going down the drain every time I wash my hair). \*\* Have you ever noticed it’s the _guys_ that get totally freaked out by the hair in the drain? Mr. Kitty’s always like “eeewww, ewwww, get that clump of hair out of the drain… it’s icky…” and I’m like, “you can bloody well fish the damn thing out yourself every now and then.” What’s up with that? **Lindy** , sweetie, you’re wrong. Just admit it. It’s okay… I won’t think any less of you. 😉 BTW, keep an eye out for an email later today. Oh, and **Galen** , after you ate all the blueberry I made a new batch. So in addition to the banananut, there’s extra blueberry, some chocolate chip, and cranberry. Would you like those toasted? ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/47 "2002-06-28T14:14:58Z")
You know, it’s a funny thing, with all the hair I lose and find all over the floor, I’ve never fished out a galenhair rug. The universe is a strange thing, my friends. Some more blueberry, please. (I’m listening to _2112_, so I’m feeling very happy right now.) ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/48 "2002-06-28T14:24:30Z")
> [@](#): > > One mention of hot tubs and here she is…welcome back ! What happened, that mid-West wagon train get lost again ? Nope, not lost this time, but the savages were ‘a circlin’. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/49 "2002-06-28T15:39:23Z")
**gex gex** : [A cunt thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=85944). ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/50 "2002-06-28T18:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Mermaid \* > Any person reading the sequence of my posts probably realised that I had made a coding error. My acknowledgedment of that very fact would clear it up for all but the most dense or distracted. What the fuck? Am I supposed to be relieved that you only insulted me for no reason whatsoever ONCE? Oh, in that case, let me give you a big sloppy kiss for only being a bitch ONE time. I’ll spell it out for you - I DON’T GIVE A RAT’S ASS IF YOU ARE TOO STUPID TO OPERATE A COMPUTER. So you didn’t TRY to double-post - you want a goddam medal? And congratulations for finding the well-hidden word BLOW in my user name, and using it to insult me. I think I forgot to include this little gem of yours in the o.p.: > [@](#): > > I think you got your user name right though Aren’t you fucking clever? Gosh, I never thought of that before. > [@](#): > > Now I admit it was the lamest of pages but still I took the time to compose it so I could post it here on the board for your reading enjoyment. Blowero wrote 2 words of faint praise and 7 words of bitchwhining. It just struck me as really petty. Actually, I thought the page was quite clever. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you owned Geocities and personally designed the fucked-up pop-up windows that won’t close. You sound like a bitter old hag who’s spoiling for a fight all the time. > [@](#): > > After reading my replies I wondered if maybe I\* was\* being a bit sensitive that maybe Blowero wasn’t really trying to be an asshole. Next time you should think about it BEFORE you flame me. > [@](#): > > After reading this thread I’ve decided that my initial reaction was the correct one. Oh, so if you go off half-cocked and flame me for no reason, and I respond, then it proves you were right? Fuck you. If you think you are gonna flame people for no reason IN THE THREAD (even though there are very clear instructions that flames should be in the BBQ Pit), and they’re just gonna say “thank you ma’am, may I have another?”, you are sadly mistaken. > [@](#): > > Are you donning your aesbestos suit in anticipation of the flaming while mentally composing more bile. Yeah, pretty much. Thanks for not disappointing me. > [@](#): > > I’m sorry I just can’t get excited enough about your bitterness to feed it. I remain underwhelmed. You remain an petty misogynistic excuse for a man. I think it all evens out in the end. Oh, geez - I had a feeling you would turn this into some kind of bitter rant about men. I don’t hate women - just bitches like you. > [@](#): > > I don’t think my comments, which I felt were basically along the lines of “if you can’t say something nice to someone then don’t say anything at all” were nearly inflammatory enough to warrant being called an uptight, unloved cunt with a stick up her ass. Um, that’s NOT what you said. Maybe you need to step into reality. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/51 "2002-06-28T18:35:37Z")
Dude. You are one boring little shit. Really. Go out and get laid. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/52 "2002-06-28T18:44:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Dude. You are one boring little shit. Really. Go out and get laid. 🙂 \*\* Good one. You took that same “need to get laid” insult that I wrote in the first post, and used it on me. You’re a fucking comedy genius.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/53 "2002-06-28T18:55:03Z")
Thank yew, thank yew. Folks, don’t forget to tip your waitresses over, and drive home safely. Or, if you stay, next show’s at 11. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/54 "2002-06-28T20:09:28Z")
Now appearing for ONE THREAD ONLY—The Flaming Mermaid. Yes sir folks right here we have one mermaid just begging for someone to bring the heat. She is stupid and doesn’t know how to operate a computer but she is just full to the brim of carefully mentally composed biley goodness. She is clever and witty and does not dissapoint. There is plenty of anecdotal evidence to back up these claims. This uptight cunt is reported to have not been laid in years but these rumors are so far unsubstantiated. So hurry hurry hurry, don’t miss out on your chance to get some hot fishwoman. [sub] anal stick void where prohibited[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/55 "2002-06-28T20:24:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dantheman \* > \*\*Thank yew, thank yew. Folks, don’t forget to tip your waitresses over, and drive home safely. Or, if you stay, next show’s at 11. \*\* Wow, 2 comedy hits in one day! You should go on Star Search. Just to be safe, I wouldn’t quit the day job yet. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/56 "2002-06-28T20:35:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by blowero \* > \*\* > > Wow, 2 comedy hits in one day! You should go on Star Search. Just to be safe, I wouldn’t quit the day job yet. \*\* Oh, don’t worry - I’m not going to yet. I’m gonna keep my day job, but sleep my way to the top of Star Search. By golly, I’m gonna win that grand prize, or whatever the befuck they call it. Even if I do have to perform incredible acts of dexterity on Ed McMahon. [If you’ll give me a sec, I’ll check to see if the anal fire stick is prohibited in my area. Might wanna use it in my act.] 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/57 "2002-06-28T21:06:58Z")
Warning: Do not taunt Happy Anal Fire Stick[sub]tm[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![MachV](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/58 "2002-06-28T21:22:49Z")
:taunts Happy Anal Fire Stick: What now?? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/59 "2002-06-29T00:11:32Z")
For my next trick, I will balance the Happy Anal Fire Stick on my nose while reciting show tunes, a cappella. Tips are welcome! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201/60 "2002-06-29T00:52:49Z")
I think the only thing that could improve your act would be if you would sing a duet with me. How about something from Les Miserables? I know the perfect song Ass-Master of the house quick to catch your eye Never wants a passerby to pass him by [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mermaid/116201.md?page=4)