# The mind is a wonderful thing. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 6, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375 "2000-03-06T03:39:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/1 "2000-03-06T03:39:00Z")
The human mind is a wondrous thing. Its ability to process untold amounts of information and produce instant thoughts, feelings and actions is enough to make one see the hand of God shaping and guiding our existence. All of us on earth are walking, talking miracles, even Cyberian John John. Well, okay, strike that. I bring this up because just a few minutes ago I was sitting in my little office at home pretending to do some work, when an unprompted thought popped into my head. It told me to take off all of my clothes and run through the house singing “Look at Me, I’m Sandra Dee.” Of course I didn’t do it because the last time I did, my wife locked in in the basement. Anyway, thinking of that made me think of my youth, which, of course, made me think of masturbation, which led me to think of my first girlfriend Betty, which made me think of my virginity, which made me think of my high school, which made me think of my '51 Mercury… Man, I loved that car! Where was I? Oh yes, the mind is a… well, it’s a … you know. ## Okay, I’m a putz. But this _is_ MPSIMS, right? Voted as: **The poster you’d most like to meet.** I demand a recount. ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/2 "2000-03-06T03:44:00Z")
You expect me to believe that you simply thought about masturbation, and then moved on to a different thought? Right. * * * This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here. ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/3 "2000-03-06T03:45:00Z")
I’ve never seen a car like that. What’s it look like? Did it run well? I don’t know too much about cars in general. You feed them gas and wash them occasionally and they’re good pets, right? I like pets. Specifically, I like the two dogs at the frat and one of the cats. I don’t know the other cat. I also think my roommate’s gerbil is cute, even if it is insane. I miss my dog. He was cute and funny. Oh well. My finger itches. I’m thirsty. I don’t want to get up to get a drink, though. I guess I’ll just suffer, then. I do like this sandwich. Mmm. TUrkey, swiss, 1000 islands dressing, lettuce, musrhooms, all on a sub. It’s getting cold, I’ll go eat it. I’ve done stream of consciousness before. I once did 5 pages of it. Scary, huh? * * * I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail. ---
**Author:** ![Jackamus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Jackamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackamus)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/4 "2000-03-06T03:45:00Z")
Yes, it truly is, uh , uh . . . . Mine is in dire need of a defrag. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/5 "2000-03-06T03:56:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You expect me to believe that you simply thought about masturbation, and then moved on to a different thought? Hey! It could happen. It hasn’t yet, but it could. Maybe. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/6 "2000-03-06T04:13:00Z")
I’m still suffering mental whiplash from the image of Wally cavorting buck-naked around the house warbling, “Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee!” Now, I didn’t figure him for an Annette Funicello fan or anything, but Sandra Dee? The mind truly is a mysterious, wonderful thing. Why, this thread just triggered deep regret that I didn’t vote for Wally a few more times for “most want to meet”. A naked, Dionysion salute {rimshot} to Sandra Dee…hmmmmm. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/7 "2000-03-06T04:18:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Hey! It could happen. > > It hasn’t yet, but it could. Maybe. Mmmm-hmmmm. Sure. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that one from both of my husbands. And every single boyfriend I’ve ever had in my life. That does sound like a sweet car, though. Cars. Hm. Mine needs an oil change. Can’t seem to find the time to do it, though. What time is it, anyway? Eleven? Oh, Dennis Miller is on. I like Dennis Miller. He’s hot. Wise-ass guys are a turn-on… Dammit Wally! I’ll be back in a few minutes. * * * This space blank, until Wally thinks up something cool to put here. ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/8 "2000-03-06T04:21:00Z")
The mind may be a wonderful thing, but mine’s in overdrive right now, running in circles around this comp problem I’m working on. And I’m restless and want to kick someone’s ass. damn. I was hoping that writing it out would reduce the feeling. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Watson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Watson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Watson)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/9 "2000-03-06T04:46:00Z")
I was just about to make a truly profound observation about how the shift from the personal judgment to the universal is the basis of tyranny, but then that Sandra Dee thing kept poppin’ into my head, and now all I can remember is somethin’ else I wanted to say about how much of a bitch it is to keep them damnable flatheads from spittin’ sparks out the damned tailpipes . . . Somehow I expect it was all the same thought anyway. Dr. Watson “The argument reduced itself to an exercise, and I’ve had quite enough exercise lately, thank you.” ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/10 "2000-03-06T05:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Now, I didn’t figure him for an Annette Funicello fan or anything, but Sandra Dee? C’mon, Veb. You’ve spent the last 20+ years studiously avoiding **Grease!**? Go ahead and watch it; it won’t corrupt you (any more than this MB will). * * * Tom~ ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/11 "2000-03-06T05:12:00Z")
Oh man Wally Wally… how am I ever going to sleep tonite… that tune is now stuck in my head along with the visual of you dancing around. * * * We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/12 "2000-03-06T05:20:00Z")
\*\*If when my wife is sleeping and the baby and Kathleen ae sleeping and the sun is a flame-white disc in silken mists above shining trees,– if I in my north room dance naked, grotesquely before my mirror waving my shirt round my head and singing softly to myself: “I am lonely, lonely. I was born to be lonely, I am best so!” If I admire my arms, my face, my shoulders, flanks, buttocks againt the drawn yellow shades,– Who shall say I am not the happy genius of my household? – William Carlos Williams, “Danse Russe”\*\* God bless WCW, and god bless this poem…it somehow sanctifies all our deviant behaviors! * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Watson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Watson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Watson)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/13 "2000-03-06T05:32:00Z")
Um, Uke? Would it be okay if I used yer entire post as my sig line? Humbled, Dr. Watson ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/14 "2000-03-06T05:34:00Z")
Sometimes I find it hard to stay on topic. Maybe this is because of my short attention… “Colin! Leave the cat alone!” Where was I? Oh, yes-The reason I find redheads so attractive is that when I was a child, my mother would bake bread over a wood stove in the wintertime. Thus, the abject fear of heights is explained. ---
**Author:** ![OliverTwistofLime](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b487fb/32.png) [@OliverTwistofLime](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OliverTwistofLime)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2000, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/15 "2000-03-06T05:44:00Z")
Your OP answered a question I have had for all these years. Now I finally know who the Wally was who Betty was telling me about. But I don’t want to embarrass you on this MB. I can say this however. Better stick with cars. 🙂 * * * Anger is just one letter short of Danger Eleanor Roosevelt ---
**Author:** ![Scribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Scribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-mind-is-a-wonderful-thing/14375/16 "2000-08-05T17:34:16Z")
bump