# The Miracle Whip "We Will Not Tone It Down" - Style....... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2010, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108 "2010-06-22T11:27:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/1 "2010-06-22T11:27:36Z")
… of voice-overs in commercials. Putting it here because it _is_ mundane, but I am hearing this in commercials for other products as well. You too? (Sorry, no cites. Just kinda hearing it out of the corner of my ear, so to speak) Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2010, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/2 "2010-06-22T12:06:19Z")
“You’re an On-The-Go Woman…” I am? “Who won’t take ‘no’ for an answer” I won’t? “And you’re taking charge in the way you respond to your digestive health” I am? “Our Yoghurt product has REAL LIVE CULTURES to keep you regular!” That sounds kind of dangerous, but I like regular things! Gas, Coffee…well…two things. Wait, this 4 oz container is $3! F that! I wasn’t much of a take charge woman anyway, you liar! But talk to me again about Bone health, Sally Field…or was that Jamie Lee Curtis? or…you know, that “digestive health woman”. (WTF, how would YOU feel if someone screamed cross the grocey store: “Hey! Digestive Health Woman!”) (Where do I put the ‘?’ in that last sentence?) (Why am I asking you?) ---
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/3 "2010-06-23T12:10:50Z")
Those Sally Field commercials are redonkulous. She makes it sound like you’re gonna die if you don’t take Boniva. “I only have this one life!” GAAAH! It’ll be horrible without some Boniva! I’m gonna die without Boniva! Back to the OP’s point. I don’t want a commercial to tell me what to do. What else is gonna take my sandwich up a notch? No, the lettuce won’t do it. But the homemade chipotle-cilantro MAYO will. Or the tangy vinaigrette I made. Or this awesome artesinal cheese I bought. I don’t need you to tell me I need to put Miracle Whip on my sandwich to keep it from being boring! ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/4 "2010-06-23T16:10:57Z")
I hate the Miracle Whip ads so much. It’s such a waste of time to rebrand MW, the blandest, nastiest sandwich spread out there, as the rock n’ roll alternative to mayo. See also: the psychedelic Wheat Thins ads. I like Wheat Thins, mind you, but they are not going to change your life with spinning, fractal swirls of wonder. They’re wheat crackers. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/5 "2010-06-23T16:36:06Z")
Cues in Scropions song: _HERE I AM,… ROCK ME LIKE A HURRICANE!!_ Um, yyeeahh, rock me like a “hurricane” plain jane Saltines crackers. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/6 "2010-06-23T16:46:35Z")
I have a recipe for bacon baked potato salad. It is the ONLY reason you’ll find 'whip (yo!) in my kitchen. It is otherwise worthless and good only for driving home the sad fact you forgot to buy more mayo and it’s all you have in the fridge. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/7 "2010-06-23T16:52:52Z")
I’m just getting sick of the mumble-mouthed wannabe Jim Croces and Carole Kings. Hey, singer-songwriters: “A day once dawned” should not sound like “Day wines daw.” Nor should “I am holding half an acre/torn from the map of Michigan” sound like “I am hoeing half an acre/toeing from the mouth of Michigan.” Hey, advertising jerks: Every time your gorram earworms force me to go look up some stupid frakking song I don’t even like on Google to find out what the lyrics are, I hate your product just a little bit harder. ---
**Author:** ![Nobody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/94ad74/32.png) [@Nobody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nobody)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/8 "2010-06-25T08:10:25Z")
_Miracle Whip rules and you’re all jerks!!!_\* :mad: But, even saying that, they’re trying to get you pumped for MW, yet those ads are the most boring thing on the planet. \*Mods, I’m only joking…well, about the jerk part anyway. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/9 "2010-06-25T10:28:41Z")
Moved MPSIMS --\> Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Pleonast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pleonast/32/1183_2.png) [@Pleonast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pleonast)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/10 "2010-06-25T17:29:35Z")
I love Miracle Whip and can’t tolerate actual mayonnaise, but their commercials are annoying and pretentious. ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/11 "2010-06-25T17:59:14Z")
That reminds me of the recent ad posted here which used the voice “talents” of Gilbert Godfreid. It’s like the makers of this product said to themselves. “We can’t possibly sell any less of our product so let’s annoy the hell out of people. At least we’ll get their attention.” ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/12 "2010-06-25T19:51:23Z")
Like MW, hate MW’s faux-edgy commercials. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/13 "2010-06-25T20:00:47Z")
First of all, Miracle Whip is (to quote **MsRobyn** ) the devil’s semen. > [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > (WTF, how would YOU feel if someone screamed cross the grocey store: “Hey! Digestive Health Woman!”) (Where do I put the ‘?’ in that last sentence?) (Why am I asking you?) There’s some commercial where people are going up to some woman and asking if she’s “the colon lady”. And she PROUDLY declares that she is and hawks whatever product it is she’s selling for colon health. Every time I see it I think to myself that if someone ever came up to me and asked that, I’d just quietly tell them, “No, you must be mistaken. Never heard of her.” > [@Ogre](#): > > See also: the psychedelic Wheat Thins ads. I like Wheat Thins, mind you, but they are not going to change your life with spinning, fractal swirls of wonder. They’re wheat crackers. And that Uncle Ben’s microwavable ad that goes full-on LSD flashback. ---
**Author:** ![CyclopticXander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@CyclopticXander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CyclopticXander)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miracle-whip-we-will-not-tone-it-down-style/544108/14 "2010-06-26T02:25:57Z")
That is seriously my least favorite ad campaign of all time. It just makes me feel like they think young people are very stupid and that we will go for anything that seems vaguely counter culture, even if it’s a freaking condiment!