# The miserable adventures of SDMB's catsix **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227 "2004-04-21T15:20:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/41 "2004-04-21T19:04:28Z")
> [@](#): > > **jarbabyj** said: > Yes, that’s the general reaction of dopers to situations like the one you describe. I don’t believe that for a second. I do think that as you are doing now, you will react that way. > [@](#): > > I’ll tell you what, there are dozens of people on this board I don’t like, and when they go through tough times I know to stay away and keep my mouth shut. As I also said, I am not someone who opens up my tough times or even some of the really good ones to very many people. That does not mean they don’t exist, which is the only point I am trying to make here. > [@](#): > > I’d grant you the same courtesy. Like I said, I’m not a person to open a thread up about my feelings. I rarely open threads at all. I think there have been three that I started in all the time I’ve been here. > [@](#): > > But here’s a tip. If you have no sympathy or empathy for others, they’ll have none for you. Wasn’t trying to get sympathy, only to demonstrate that because you do not see me write about something, doesn’t mean it’s non-existent. > [@](#): > > **LaurAnge** said: > If you don’t want us to think you’re a bitch, stop acting like one. In my opinion, I am not acting like a bitch. If you disagree, you are free to. I will not change who I am so that a total stranger will say I’m not a bitch. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/42 "2004-04-21T19:05:42Z")
> [@](#): > > **catsix** - That’s the way things have been in the places I’ve worked. If it’s not that way where you work, then I’m happy for you. I can accept that the women **you** work with abuse their status as mothers to get unfair time off of work if you’ll accept that not **all** working women who happen to be mothers unilaterally abuse sick leave-ok? > [@](#): > > Not having friends who don’t share similar interests to me is contempt? If I have nothing in common with someone, why would I socialize with them? Lots of people here really dig bluegrass music, but I don’t. So when they go to their bluegrass concerts, I don’t go. It doesn’t mean I have contempt for them, it just means that I’d rather be at a rock concert. Nothing wrong with having different interests. Makes the world go 'round and all that. Plus, just think of how crowded everything would be if we all liked exactly the same things. However, whether you mean to or not, you often appear disdainful when confronted with a differing view. If you weren’t such a erudite poster, I’d think that this was simply because you had a difficult time conveying what you really mean in the written medium. Personally, when I’m afraid that my words may be misconstrued or bring unnecessary offense, I try extra hard to express my opinion neutrally. Just a suggestion. > [@](#): > > Many of those things are quite emotional (like how happy and sad I was that I got to go on a very long road trip to see a friend for what might well have been the last time, because my friend is dying) and I’m not the most open person in the world about that kind of stuff. Perhaps because I think some of the people who dislike me will respond to such things with ‘look at catsix trying to prove she’s a saint.’ when I didn’t mean it that way. Partly because if I write about that I have to admit that the next time I make that drive will very likely be for a funeral. Stuff like that. I’m not all that fond of people that treat message boards as their personal diary and I’m not the most open person about my emotions either. However, if you want us to know the warm funny caring side of **catsix** , then you have to let us see it. And I’m so very sorry about your friend-truly I am. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/43 "2004-04-21T19:07:03Z")
> [@Diane](#): > > I am sitting here at the computer in my lace panties and bunny slippers, listening to Tom Jones and wishing someone would poleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease go to the store to buy me more bon bons. (hint hint wink wink) My man won’t let me drive see’in that I am a grrrrl and all. > XOXOXO Lace Panties!! Bunny Slippers!! Forget Tom Jones, I’ll get you all the bon-bons you want and flowers, too. Champagne? New car? Jewelry? Anything, just tell me where to deliver------- ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/44 "2004-04-21T19:08:07Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > I thought your point was that you think I’m an evil, uncaring, unfeeling bitch? Believe it or not, I don’t want your sympathy. I think you’re wrong about me, but I don’t want you to feel bad for me. Of course your question was what kind of reaction I expected, not what my point was. I know I’m just a dumb girl who wears a bra and everything, but I think there IS a difference. > [@](#): > > Things I knew before I got to this forum for 100 please, Alex. > > Same category for 200, Alex. So if you knew that people had this differing knowledge AND if you consider other people’s opinions valid options, why do you continue to harp on people telling them they’re WRONG and that YOUR perceptions are RIGHT? > [@](#): > > Also, I am aware that some people don’t abuse it. That does not mean it is never abused, or as is my view quite prone to abuse and in need of revamping. Wait, didn’t you just say in a few posts above that EVERY PESON (even male) in your office that has kids abuses these policies? > [@](#): > > I have no feelings about it one way or the other. Again, believe it or not, I am not on a personal mission to make you unhappy. Babycakes, when I switch off this monitor, I don’t give you a second fucking thought. You couldn’t accomplish making me unhappy. Making something a little less fun (again these are difficult concepts I know) is different from “being on a mission to make me unhappy”. Get a grip on your sense of self importance. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/45 "2004-04-21T19:08:36Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Previous job, the numbers were slightly different, but by and large those who’d miss work the most often were the working mothers. So, whether you agree or not, I have found that in my experience a lenient policy for needing time off because of ‘the kids’ will be heavily abused. See, this is where I’m confused **catsix**. How do you have any idea that they’re “abusing” the policy? Do you have secret cameras installed in their homes that are catching them in acts of lewdness and debauchary while they’re “supposedly” out for legitimate reasons? Or, isn’t it more likely that their kids really are sick or in need of their parent for some reason? It seems to me that in your ideal workplace no one would be out for any reason other than gross bodily injury, and I gotta tell you that that’s so far off reality that it’s scary. Kids get sick a lot and require a lot of time–that’s just a fact of life. Thankfully, most workplaces take into account that their employees have lives and families, and so they allow time off–under certain conditions–to let them do what they need to do. I’m seriously curious what you think the solution is for parents, other than to take advantage of their employers family leave policies. When kids are sick–someone’s gotta take care of them. When parent-teacher type things are scheduled–someone’s gotta attend them. You claim that that’s “not your problem” in Velma’s thread, which is pretty much a non-answer. Of course it’s not your problem, it’s the parent’s problem and they can’t deal with it while they’re at work! Does the illogic of your position completely escape you? ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/46 "2004-04-21T19:10:01Z")
Quote: villa said: Dismissing it because of who the person is kind of smacks of knee jerk reaction. I know it is something everyone does to a greater or lesser extent, but when called on it, you really should respond. > [@catsix](#): > > I believe that those feminists, personally, have a strong sexism against men and that so do many of their followers as a matter of philosophy. I did not in this thread say a damn thing about any statistics they have made claim to. You didn’t? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=251541&page=3](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=251541&page=3) I had cited to Brownmiller (and offered others) for the assertion that false reports of rape occur at a level no higher than that of other serious crimes. My Quote: One source for this is Susan Brownmiller, Against Our Will; To which your reply was: > [@catsix](#): > > Ah, a very heavily biased source from a very sexist author. No attempt to argue against the validity of the statistic, no attempt to produce counter examples of why the numbers she uses might be wrong. Just a dismissal of the statistic, that the false reporting level of rape is the same as that of other serious crimes, on the basis of the source from which it came. ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/47 "2004-04-21T19:14:43Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > Babycakes, when I switch off this monitor, I don’t give you a second fucking thought. You couldn’t accomplish making me unhappy. Making something a little less fun (again these are difficult concepts I know) is different from “being on a mission to make me unhappy”. Get a grip on your sense of self importance. Well, you see where she could get the wrong idea, considering you started this thread by blaming her for your dry-soul condition. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/48 "2004-04-21T19:15:43Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Help what, exactly? > > I already like who I am. You do? Tell me then, why did you take down all the mirrors in your house so you wouldn’t have to ‘look at yourself’? ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/49 "2004-04-21T19:17:18Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > .’ > So the only question left is what purpose this thread serves? Why…to make me laugh…of course ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/50 "2004-04-21T19:19:39Z")
> [@Amok](#): > > Well, you see where she could get the wrong idea, considering you started this thread by blaming her for your dry-soul condition. I’ve had my run-ins with **catsix** , too, and I’ve found that Elizabeth Arden’s Overnight Soul Moisture Créme does _wonders_. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/51 "2004-04-21T19:25:56Z")
> [@Amok](#): > > Well, you see where she could get the wrong idea, considering you started this thread by blaming her for your dry-soul condition. Welcome to hyperbole, and I will be your host. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/52 "2004-04-21T19:27:30Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Help what, exactly? Well, hopefully help this hard-done-by aura you manage to project so well, for starters. You take yourself far too seriously. Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time. You miss the good bits. > [@catsix](#): > > Telling me that you think I’m an angry youngster will not accomplish anything. No, pointing out the obvious usually does little to help. But then, going around being angry doesn’t usually accomplish a whole hell of a lot, either. > [@catsix](#): > > I already know how to laugh. I already read other threads. I already like who I am. We’ll dismiss the first two, I have absolutely no frame of reference. As for the third, honey, I think we can all see what blatant bullshit THAT is. If our opinions are of such little consequence…why do you keep coming back? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/53 "2004-04-21T19:28:46Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > You do? Tell me then, why did you take down all the mirrors in your house so you wouldn’t have to ‘look at yourself’? Maybe she’s a vampire. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Amok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f17d59/32.png) [@Amok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amok)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/54 "2004-04-21T19:30:14Z")
> [@jarbabyj](#): > > Welcome to hyperbole, and I will be your host. Is the place jumpin’ tonight? I’d like a nice table. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/55 "2004-04-21T19:32:55Z")
> [@](#): > > **jlzania** said: > I can accept that the women you work with abuse their status as mothers to get unfair time off of work if you’ll accept that not all working women who happen to be mothers unilaterally abuse sick leave-ok? Agreed. > [@](#): > > If you weren’t such a erudite poster, I’d think that this was simply because you had a difficult time conveying what you really mean in the written medium. I am a knowledgeable and educated person who can write (mostly) grammatically correct sentences and use big words. I am (I think) better than a mediocre poet, and I handle technical and factual writing well. Conversational writing is a facet of the English language that I have never had much luck with, or well, conversational speaking in general. You should see how many hours it takes me to write a cover letter for a resume because of this. I think that a contributing factor to this is that my background is science and more specifically engineering. Emphasis was put upon expression of fact, doing it quickly, and getting to the point. I can understand how I’d be perceived as an educated asshole, but am not sure that at this point in life I can do anything about it. > [@](#): > > However, if you want us to know the warm funny caring side of catsix, then you have to let us see it. > And I’m so very sorry about your friend-truly I am. It’s a rather large catch-22 on the ‘warm funny caring side of catsix.’ I like people to know it exists, but grew up in an enviornment where it was highly discouraged to show anything to anyone that could be considered a weakness. About my friend, thank you. He is a very important person in my life and watching him suffer knowing I cannot fix it like I can fix a broken piece of electronics is hard to deal with. > [@](#): > > So if you knew that people had this differing knowledge AND if you consider other people’s opinions valid options, why do you continue to harp on people telling them they’re WRONG and that YOUR perceptions are RIGHT? If they ask for the opinions of everyone reading, I give mine, and then am told my opinion is wrong, I get a bit ticked off. When someone tells me that my perception of _my own life_ is wrong, same idea. > [@](#): > > Wait, didn’t you just say in a few posts above that EVERY PESON (even male) in your office that has kids abuses these policies? In mine it has been the case that the seven people who have kids abuse the ‘time off for kids’ policy. Does that mean people in other offices are exactly the same as in mine? > [@](#): > > Babycakes, when I switch off this monitor, I don’t give you a second fucking thought. If you’re complaining about me being such a bitch, why do you use deliberately bitchy condescending names like ‘Babycakes’? > [@](#): > > **belladonna** said: > Do you have secret cameras installed in their homes that are catching them in acts of lewdness and debauchary while they’re “supposedly” out for legitimate reasons? Well when someone tells you that they’re going to see their kid’s baseball practice and then lounge by their pool for the afternoon, it’s pretty obvious their kid ain’t sick. (I’m looking at one coworker in particular for that comment) Or if they tell you they’re staying home because the kid had a snow-day from school and the announcements on the radio for school closings don’t include that school, it’s pretty obvious that they’re lying. > [@](#): > > Of course it’s not your problem, it’s the parent’s problem and they can’t deal with it while they’re at work! So uh, how bout get that work done before going, or come in early the next day and do it, or stay late the next day and do it instead of sticking it in my mailbox as if I’ll do it when in reality all I’m gonna do is put it, unifinished, back into their own mailbox? > [@](#): > > No attempt to argue against the validity of the statistic, no attempt to produce counter examples of why the numbers she uses might be wrong. I think one of the reasons that the numbers Brownmiller publishes might be wrong is that in many instances (like date rape), to the person reporting it, it’s not a false report, but in some cases a crime wasn’t actually comitted. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/56 "2004-04-21T19:36:20Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > If you’re complaining about me being such a bitch, why do you use deliberately bitchy condescending names like ‘Babycakes’? because you know you want it, sugar. I may have casually implied you were a bit of a bitch, but I sure didn’t say you cornered the market. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/57 "2004-04-21T19:37:07Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Well, I guess I should inform you that attempts to ‘wound’ me by someone I do not know, have never met, and will very likely never meet are pretty much an exercise in futility. If that is all the concern you give us, then I think it is important to not care about what you say, for fairness’s sake. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/58 "2004-04-21T19:40:01Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > In mine it has been the case that the seven people who have kids abuse the ‘time off for kids’ policy. Does that mean people in other offices are exactly the same as in mine? **WELL BUST OUT THE FUCKING KEG**. It took about seven pages of two different threads, but we finally got you to fucking admit that not EVERYONE BEHAVES IN THE WAY YOUR FUCKING CO-WORKERS BEHAVE. Here’s a cigar. Enjoy it. Next stop, removing your wisdom teeth. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/59 "2004-04-21T19:40:51Z")
> [@](#): > > **Maureen** said: > Well, hopefully help this hard-done-by aura you manage to project so well, for starters. You take yourself far too seriously. Life’s too short to be pissed off all the time. You miss the good bits. You’re too sure of yourself. > [@](#): > > No, pointing out the obvious usually does little to help. But then, going around being angry doesn’t usually accomplish a whole hell of a lot, either. I am fascinated by how well you think you know me. > [@](#): > > As for the third, honey, I think we can all see what blatant bullshit THAT is. Well, you are definitely entitled to your opinion. > [@](#): > > If our opinions are of such little consequence…why do you keep coming back? Kind of slow at work today. > [@](#): > > **jarbabyj** said: > You do? Tell me then, why did you take down all the mirrors in your house so you wouldn’t have to ‘look at yourself’? And where did this come from? > [@](#): > > because you know you want it, sugar. I may have casually implied you were a bit of a bitch, but I sure didn’t say you cornered the market. Are you calling yourself a bitch here? If so, I wonder why it is that you seem to think that’s a bad thing as it relates to me. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/60 "2004-04-21T19:41:22Z")
> [@Jeff Olsen](#): > > Maybe she’s a vampire. 🙂 If she were a vampire, such a move would be unnecessary. HOwever, I think that, although **catsix** richly deserves pitting, many of the comments here are personal, petty, and vituperative; I therefore ain’t gonna join in here. Indeed, she’s showing more class in this thread than the OP at this point. Daniel [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227.md?page=4)