# The miserable adventures of SDMB's catsix **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 21, 2004, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227 "2004-04-21T15:20:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/81 "2004-04-21T20:59:28Z")
> [@](#): > > **jarbabyj** said: > How could I forget? You snapped at and insulted every single person who tried to help you when you were going through this phase. WE ALL TRIED TO HELP YOU and you insisted we were trying to send you to a ‘head butcher’. Remember? That was so nice of you. As I remember, I did try to say nicely several times that I did not find that seeing a therapist regarding my desire to lose 30 lbs was an avenue I wanted to persue. When continually pressured with ‘Well you should see one’, I got angry. Shocking. > [@](#): > > It wasn’t a cheap shot…it’s a fact. You claim you’re happy with yourself. On the whole, there is only one thing that I would like to change and currently am changing. I’m losing weight. As far as who I am, personality and mind, I’m happy with myself. > [@](#): > > What, did you think I’d have the thread closed as soon as you started whining? Please. Uh, where’d you get the idea that I was asking you to have this thread closed? > [@](#): > > Hopefully in five years I’ll be too busy taking care of a new family to give even an ounce of breath to your bullshit. I know, ewww, families. Because I know that it would make you happy to have kids, I wish you the best of luck with that. > [@](#): > > If you didn’t find an avenue, make one. Besides, a sense of humor is predicated on the jokes you hear. The more goofy/cheesy/1920’s Death Ray-type humor you read, the more you’ll appreciate it. Eh, I’ve been a comedy fan for a long time. I even used to go to the all-audience participation Friday Night Improvs back in college and hoot and yell and laugh and (gasp!) get up on stage and make funny but I never got into the goofy, cheesy, 1920’s Death Ray-type of humor thing. Kind of like how all those years of being exposed to country music in my house never made me enjoy it either. Nothing wrong with folks liking a different type of humor than me, but my humor is very dry, very sarcastic, often very morbid, and I’ve already been told by a mod once that much of the humor I like is not in line with the tenor of this forum. > [@](#): > > **jlzania** said: > Righto. And if all you want to do is back catsix into a corner so that you continue to yell at her, please persist. > Bear firmly in mind however, that even a normally docile animal, when left with no recourse, will lash out in defense. > And we all know that catsix is far from docile. Perhaps this is why you and I have reached at least an understanding of each other’s opinion if not agreement whereas **jarbabyj** and I have not. > [@](#): > > **jarbabyj** said: > I don’t get why it’s acceptable for her to lash out but it’s abominable when I do. Would you like to borrow some of my nails? They are very effective on crosses. 😉 (See, there’s that sarcasm again.) > [@](#): > > **Guinastasia** said: > I once started a Pit thread about my boss giving me shit about having to call in sick when I was having a severely painful menstrual period. In such thread, you went on and on about how women should just suck it up, and c’mon, it’s never that bad! People who call off are wimps, you’ve been to work feverish and puking and blah blah blah. Yes, I realize that I have a very ‘suck it up’ attitude. I was raised that way, and it is a part of who I am. I have also been as careful as I can to not expect more out of someone else than I would out of myself, which I suppose does come off as unfair to other people some of the time. This is also something I was taught since I was really young. The message growing up _for me_ was to expect no more out of others than you expect of yourself, and to hold yourself to high expectations. Not everyone grew up in the environment I did, so I can understand why that seems harsh sometimes. It is _not intended to be just plain mean_ and I apologize if it seems that way. I understand I did not have the most normal of growing-up experiences where ‘I expect you to suck it up. Balls to the wall.’ was a way of saying ‘I respect you enough to believe you are strong enough to beat whatever this is.’ That is **not typical** and it has taken me a very, very long time to begin to realize that a great many people don’t have the same connotation I do. The best I can say is that I’m sorry if it came out being nasty. It was not intended that way, and I apologize. > [@](#): > > Maybe you didn’t MEAN that “oh, they don’t really need six weeks off, they’re just lying to get time off!”, but that’s how it comes across. When I read ‘six weeks maximum’, this gave me the impression that six weeks is the maximum because most people heal more quickly than that. As in, if the doctor told me ‘The bones in your arm should heal in a maximum of six weeks’ I’d expect to be better sooner, so let’s take the cast off and get me back to my programming and stuffs. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/82 "2004-04-21T21:20:23Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > As I remember, I did try to say nicely several times that I did not find that seeing a therapist regarding my desire to lose 30 lbs was an avenue I wanted to persue. Please, did you think I came up with this Head Butcher phrase on your own? Quit trying to pretend you’re a calm, reasonable human being. You said you would ‘go see any fucking head butchers’. If that’s saying something nicely…I’d hate to see you mad. > [@](#): > > Because I know that it would make you happy to have kids, I wish you the best of luck with that. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/83 "2004-04-21T21:22:44Z")
**catsix** - I don’t know that it’s the content of your opinions that rub people the wrong way- it’s your delivery. I have read your posts, and quite often, I find them venomous- and for no apparent reason. You always lead with something snarky or condescending. There never seems to be a ‘friendly disagreement’ with you- it’s always you responding to somone else’s opinion with ‘the truth.’ I say this as someone that has quite often agreed with you, but is totally turned off by your, for lack of a better word, bitchiness. And please keep this in mind as you state what you believe is the truth about life as you see it: while it’s true that the truth sometimes hurts, not everything that hurts is the truth. You might want to moderate your defensive nature, even if you keep your views. just my 2 cents. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/84 "2004-04-21T21:35:32Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > This is also something I was taught since I was really young. The message growing up _for me_ was to expect no more out of others than you expect of yourself, and to hold yourself to high expectations. Not everyone grew up in the environment I did, so I can understand why that seems harsh sometimes. It is _not intended to be just plain mean_ and I apologize if it seems that way. > > I understand I did not have the most normal of growing-up experiences where ‘I expect you to suck it up. Balls to the wall.’ was a way of saying ‘I respect you enough to believe you are strong enough to beat whatever this is.’ That is **not typical** and it has taken me a very, very long time to begin to realize that a great many people don’t have the same connotation I do. > > The best I can say is that I’m sorry if it came out being nasty. It was not intended that way, and I apologize. More and more, **catsix** , I’m finding reasons to respect you in this thread, and to cautiously reevaluate my impression of you as a deluded lunatic. I will say that ther’es a difference between “expect no more out of others than you expect out of yourself” and “expect **just as much** out of others as you expect out of yourself.” Too often I think you confuse the former for the latter. Holding yourself to a high set of personal standards is great; never holding other people to a higher set of standards than you hold yourself is wonderful. But holding other people to the exact same set of personal standards as you hold yourself to can get you in trouble. Just as we don’t really know you, please remember that you don’t really know us. And by “us” I mean “everyone else in the world.” It might therefore pay to be charitable, to assume that other people have either a different (but possibly equally rigorous) set of standards to which they hold themselves, to assume that people have things going on in their lives that you don’t know about, and to cut them as much slack as you can, therefore. Personally, my main encounters with you have been about feminism, something I’ve studied probably as much as or more than you. I recognize and can respect that we have come to different conclusions about it, but your posts to me on the subject have come across positively oozing contempt and treat me as if I’m incapable of thinking for myself on the subject. Indeed, it’s been these encounters that led me to think that you were a delusional lunatic. Lately I’m thinking that you’re just a little quick to set generalizations based on your specific personal experiences. For my part, I apologize for my own insults to you in previous threads; I recognize they weren’t helpful in the least. **jarbaby** , I trust the irony of your demanding I give you a break in this thread is apparent. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/85 "2004-04-21T21:39:26Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > More and more, **catsix** , I’m finding reasons to respect you in this thread, and to cautiously reevaluate my impression of you as a deluded lunatic. Huh. On rereading, it occurs to me that dry humor sometimes comes across as cruelty in the written language. I meant this to be said with a slightly self-abashed smile, **catsix** ; while that was my impression of you, I think I was pretty wrong to have it. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/86 "2004-04-21T21:40:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Yes, I realize that I have a very ‘suck it up’ attitude. I was raised that way, and it is a part of who I am. I have also been as careful as I can to not expect more out of someone else than I would out of myself, which I suppose does come off as unfair to other people some of the time. And, to be fair, no one here is asking for you to do anything they do not do themselves - show a little more respect for the opinions and experiences of others, think before you post, occationally say “I hadn’t thought about it that way,” or “you obviously have had a different experience than I have had” - i.e. suck it up and be polite. Sometimes, the awkward social skills you want to excuse yourself for are just as difficult to overcome as Guin’s menstral cramps. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/87 "2004-04-21T21:44:08Z")
> [@](#): > > **jarbabyj** said: > Please, did you think I came up with this Head Butcher phrase on your own? Quit trying to pretend you’re a calm, reasonable human being. You said you would ‘go see any fucking head butchers’. If that’s saying something nicely…I’d hate to see you mad. I admit I came up with that, toward the end of what was a rather long conversation that did start with ‘I’m not interested in going to therapy.’ Of course you’ve also been quite free to paint me as someone who’d shoot anyone who looks at me wrong, and I’m damn sure I never said anything like that. > [@](#): > > **Stonebow** said: > catsix - I don’t know that it’s the content of your opinions that rub people the wrong way- it’s your delivery. I have read your posts, and quite often, I find them venomous- and for no apparent reason. You always lead with something snarky or condescending. There never seems to be a ‘friendly disagreement’ with you- it’s always you responding to somone else’s opinion with ‘the truth.’ Some people find my bluntness or sarcasm to be bitchy or condescending no matter how it was intended. I don’t intend everything I say to be mean and nasty, but I will admit that when I get into a disgreement with someone who I’ve already had a history of rudeness from, I don’t go out of my way to expect that ‘it’ll be different this time.’ > [@](#): > > You might want to moderate your defensive nature, even if you keep your views. When I write the stuff down that I’m posting, I honestly do not see this ‘defensive nature’ that you do. > [@](#): > > **Left Hand** said: > I recognize and can respect that we have come to different conclusions about it, but your posts to me on the subject have come across positively oozing contempt and treat me as if I’m incapable of thinking for myself on the subject. I think you are quite capable of thinking for yourself. You have drawn different conclusions than I have, and that is fine. I just hope that you don’t think those different conclusions make me a misogynist. > [@](#): > > For my part, I apologize for my own insults to you in previous threads; I recognize they weren’t helpful in the least. And if I have insulted you, I apologize also. I think if you and I stay away from discussions of feminism, we’ll get along fine. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/88 "2004-04-21T22:31:05Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > On behalf of the male Dopers, we’d appreciate it if you ladies would cut the sharing of feelings and get down to the oil wrestling in bikins, please. I’m reporting this post to the Gay Authorities. You’re busted, pal! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/89 "2004-04-21T23:15:38Z")
catsix, thank you for taking the time to explain yourself better. I have been a sporadic reader of the boards over the last half year or so, and I don’t have a lot of familiarity with your posting style or the threads which have been referred to. It wasn’t until the “maternity leave” thread that I have interacted with you directly. So I guess I have fewer concerns about you than people who have disagreed with you on more occasions, or who have felt stung by your words. At any rate, you have taken the time to respond fairly to some of the things said here, and I think that’s positive. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/90 "2004-04-21T23:22:17Z")
> [@](#): > > **Left Hand** said: > Huh. On rereading, it occurs to me that dry humor sometimes comes across as cruelty in the written language. I meant this to be said with a slightly self-abashed smile, catsix; while that was my impression of you, I think I was pretty wrong to have it. No big deal there. I kind of figured you were not trying to be mean with the ‘deluded lunatic’ comment. I am quirky, yes. I am eccentric, yes. I am even ‘weird’. But I do not howl at the moon while rubbing poop on my head. 😉 (That was humor too) > [@](#): > > **Dangerosa** said: > And, to be fair, no one here is asking for you to do anything they do not do themselves - show a little more respect for the opinions and experiences of others, think before you post, occationally say “I hadn’t thought about it that way,” or “you obviously have had a different experience than I have had” - i.e. suck it up and be polite. Sometimes, the awkward social skills you want to excuse yourself for are just as difficult to overcome as Guin’s menstral cramps. I will try to do this in the future. > [@](#): > > **CrankyAsAnOldMan** said: > catsix, thank you for taking the time to explain yourself better. I’m trying here, and I’m glad that you appreciate that. > [@](#): > > At any rate, you have taken the time to respond fairly to some of the things said here, and I think that’s positive. Thank you for taking the time to read what I have said in explanation of those things that seem more harsh than intended. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2004, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/91 "2004-04-21T23:49:58Z")
Best wishes on the “new you” catsix. I like a lot of what you say - so I really hope that I spend less time thinking “what a bitch” and more time thinking “she has a point” or “she said exactly what I would have said.” ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/92 "2004-04-22T00:17:21Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > On behalf of the male Dopers, we’d appreciate it if you ladies would cut the sharing of feelings and get down to the oil wrestling in bikins, please. Is that considered a girly-girl activity or a tomboy one? ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/93 "2004-04-22T00:18:59Z")
I think it’s girly if it’s bikinis. Naked it would be ‘macho’. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/94 "2004-04-22T00:45:03Z")
I’m not meaning to stir the pot here, I respect the conciliatory tangent the thread has taken, but I have to say, I’ve truely enjoyed the posts by **villa** , **jlzania** , and **Lamia** , and I don’t think I’ve seen that many. Is there a lack of feminist threads on this board? Is that because things get too brutal? I’m relieved to see Susan Faludi didn’t make your list of evil ladies. ---
**Author:** ![LibrarySpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@LibrarySpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LibrarySpy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/95 "2004-04-22T00:54:36Z")
Oops, I see upon reading a linked thread that \*\*[Coldfire](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4353737&postcount=36) told us not to discuss the sistahood anymore. Sorry! It was a lapse! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/96 "2004-04-22T01:22:30Z")
They are certainly tenacious, and unwilling to relax their jaw popping grip on whatever concept they happen to have taken a fancy to, that’s for sure. Once those teeth sink in, it’s over. All thinking stops. They are continuing to do so in my thread even now. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/97 "2004-04-22T01:59:06Z")
What little I’ve seen of **catsix** seemed perfectly fine to me. Disagreeing firmly, and being guided by rationality rather than kneejerk emotion or automatic sympathy to anyone who demands it does not qualify as a bitch in my eyes. And, for the record, I am a woman. Have we gotten to the point in this society where not being nicey-nice equals being rotten? ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/98 "2004-04-22T02:43:56Z")
Boy, now don’t _I_ feel like a dum-dum. You all obviously know her a lot better than I do, and here I thought she really WAS as naive and uninformed as her posts suggest she is. I didn’t know it was a cover for vast mental superiority. ::slinks off:: ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/99 "2004-04-22T03:00:01Z")
My name’s Gump, Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2004, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227/100 "2004-04-22T03:29:57Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > My name’s Gump, Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump. I have to agree with **Left hand of Dorkness** and a few others who’ve posted to you here. I’m highly impressed by your ability to admit your little posting foibles. I long suspected, (as I smarted off and said above), that your posting style was based not on unintelligence, but naivete of conversational communication, and things that are, for lack of a better word “worldly” as opposed to technical. Which you confirmed in some of your posts here. I too think you have had some valid points, and I think that toward the end (FINALLY for gosh sakes), you started hearing what people were saying/asking instead of hearing it all as a “everyone thinks Catsix is evil”. I’ve never thought “catsix is evil”. But I HAVE often thought “catsix is exasperating, and sits singing 'lalalaLAAAAAH when others take their turn in the debate”. I’m glad to see that we might have a chance to see more of the funny and human catsix that we’ve gotten glimpses of here in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-miserable-adventures-of-sdmbs-catsix/241227.md?page=6)