# The "Misheard Lyrics" Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2002, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215 "2002-03-20T15:42:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@My\_Darn\_Snake\_Legs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Darn_Snake_Legs)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/41 "2002-03-21T02:31:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SexyWriter \* > \*\*The Beach Boys, “Help Me Rhonda.” > > “Well since you put me down, there’ve been owls puking in my bed.” > > \*\* I almost laughed myself out of my chair when I read this one! For the longest time I thought that the Offspring’s “Come Out and Play” said: “Drink your milk!” instead of “Take 'em out!” I still have to sing it that way. It’s just more fun! –==the sax man==– ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/42 "2002-03-21T02:37:45Z")
"Rock and roll _poochie poo_. Lordy Mama _like my shoes._ ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Eyed\_Stranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Green\_Eyed\_Stranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Eyed_Stranger)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/43 "2002-03-21T02:54:00Z")
I’m probably the only one who heard Dire Straits’ _Money for Nothing_ as: “Money for nothing and your **checks** for free” Hey, I was 12 and I had just got my first checking account. Everywhere I saw sings for “Free Checking”. I think part of my problem is that I really don’t listen that closely to the lyrics anyway. I’d listened to _Lola_ by the Kinks for years and years, but it wasn’t until a DJ led into it with “everybody’s favorite song about crossdressers”, that I stopped, listened and went “well, yeah, I guess so.” :eek: GES ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/44 "2002-03-21T02:59:54Z")
As a kid, I always thought Beatles “Paperback Writer” was “Take the back ride Zack”. you know in the first of the song where he sings it slowly. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/45 "2002-03-21T03:09:58Z")
My friend Jackie was very, very tired one road trip when Aerosmith’s “Jaded” came on. She listened with much exhausted confusion on her face, then finally said, “Why does he want to jade the Jews?” 😃 Absolutely priceless. ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/46 "2002-03-21T05:00:57Z")
“You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille… With _four hundred_ children and a crop in the fields.” My mom had to pull the car over because she was laughing so hard when she heard me sing that. 🙂 Sheri ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/47 "2002-03-21T06:04:01Z")
Thanks you for posting this thread! I’ve been to Kiss This Guy many times over the past couple of years… it always makes me crack up! Unfortunately, it is no longer accepting new submissions, but the site is still very much fun to read! > [@](#): > > Originally posted by Simetra: > > According to the author of “Scuse me while I kiss this guy and other misheard lyrics”, “Mondegreen” is a reference to the very first or more likely one of the first misheard lyrics that went something along the lines of, “and laid him on the green”, but was misinterpereted as “Lady Mondegreen”. The guy who wrote that book is Gavin Edwards; he’s had [three other books](http://members.aol.com/DennisKQV/readhumr.htm) out since then. I’ve read them all! And for anyone who’s wondering what the story behind the mondegreen is, I don’t have the book, but [this web page](http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/carroll/mondegreens.shtml) explains it all, I think. I can’t remember any of my own, but if I do, I’ll post them here! ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/48 "2002-03-21T06:49:42Z")
I know we NY’ers have a reputation for being a little provincial, but a few years back I couldn’t help but laugh at a local caller to a (now defunct) rock station during an all-request Saturday and asked the DJ to play “Livin’ in the Bronx”. “Livin’ in the Bronx”? asked the DJ…by who? “That right”, responded the caller, who wanted to hear The Who’s “Emminance Front” ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/49 "2002-03-21T07:20:41Z")
This was a friend’s mis-hearing, but I immediately started singing it this way when he told me: Oatmeal Bag You really can’t blame 'em Oatmeal Bag Society made 'em Of course it’s really Oingo Boingo’s “Only A Lad”, which goes: Only a lad You really can’t blame him Only a lad Society made him ---
**Author:** ![Calliope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Calliope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calliope)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/50 "2002-03-21T07:31:46Z")
When I was a kid I was just SURE that Cher’s _Half Breed_ was about a guy named Alfred… Alfred! That’s all I ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![Ferggie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@Ferggie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferggie)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/51 "2002-03-21T08:10:59Z")
I collect misheard Def Leppard lyrics. I have about 60 of them, not counting the misheard lyrics for “Pour Some Sugar On Me.” (I’ve collected a mondegreen for almost _every_ line of that song, so I put it in its own special section. (If I may be so bold: [http://amethyst-isle.com/clowns.htm.)](http://amethyst-isle.com/clowns.htm.)) My favorite of mistakes I made is from “Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad”: “Every dream I dream is like some kind of rash and reckless scene” becomes “Every dream I dream is like some kind of fashion fricasee.” My favorite of mistakes others have made is from “Breathe a Sigh”: “I more than long for your affection” becomes “I’d mow the lawn for your affection.” Doesn’t help that DL only included lyrics for one album. ---
**Author:** ![Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@Linus\_Van\_Pelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linus_Van_Pelt)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/52 "2002-03-21T10:25:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by trishdish \* > \*\* > Lucy getting high > with Linus > Lucy getting high > with Linus > Lucy getting high > with Linus > > \*\* Who told? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/53 "2002-03-21T14:12:23Z")
I always thought Radiohead’s Creep had rather odd lyrics: _I’m a creep I’m a WIDOW!_ When, of course, Thommy-boy is in actual fact a ‘weirdo’. 🙂 I got credit on some mishead lyrics site (I think it’s called ‘The Ants Are My Friends’) for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/54 "2002-03-21T14:22:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Winnowill \* > \*\*There’s a Green Day song (very popular) with a lyric that I know I’ve gotten wrong, but I don’t like the song enough to find out what the true lyric is. It’s something like “sewed donuts on my door.” Anyone? Anyone? \*\* Green Day - When I come around. Sewed donuts on my door…/_So don’t knock down my door…_ Hehe… that’s pretty funny. Sewing donuts to someone’s door. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/55 "2002-03-21T14:24:58Z")
I was so glad to see those books of misheard lyrics and to see threads like this one – I always had a hard time understanding lyrics. I thought it was just me. Now I learn that everybody else has a hard time, too. My difference was that my brain never managed to work that white noise into a coherent Misheard phrase. My father used to sing “One Ton of Metal” whenever he heard “Guantanomero” on the radio. ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/56 "2002-03-21T14:41:30Z")
Hold up, kids! It’s time to include the old standard. The granddaddy of all misunderstood lyrics: \*Pardon me boooooyyy, is that the **cat that chewed your new shoes?** ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/57 "2002-03-21T14:48:33Z")
I’ve only had one that I can remember, and I’ve been singing it the same way ever since. (Especially afer being corrected!) Journey - Open Arms “So, now I come to you, with broken arms” What the heck was I thinking? I heard a guy singing along with Creed’s “Higher” and it cracked me up. “Can you take me higher, to a place with golden streets” is the original lyric, I believe, but it came out as “to a place with Golden Tee”. 😃 I also have a friend who used to think Nine Inch Nails’ “Terrible Lie” was “turn on the light”. And another friend who thought the same thing about “Renegades of Funk”. Except it was ‘red-neck kings of f\*\*k’. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@bibliophile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophile)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/58 "2002-03-21T14:52:32Z")
I had a calendar on my desk at work last year, full of misheard lyrics. Every day was a laugh riot. A few of my favorites: There’s a bathroom on the right - CCR- There’s a bad moon on the rise. You make the rice, I’ll make the gravy- Billy Joel, You may be right, I may be crazy. I’m looking for a lover who won’t blow my brother - the eagles , I think the song is Already Gone, but I’m sure the real line is, “I’m looking for a lover who won’t blow my cover.” Tampax! Tampax! - another Stevie hit, except it’s supposed to be Stand Back. I’ll be back with more later - ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/59 "2002-03-21T15:02:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hillbilly queen \* > \*\*"Rock and roll _poochie poo_. Lordy Mama _like my shoes._ \*\* Oh my God. I just blew snot all over my monitor. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215/60 "2002-03-21T15:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Calliope \* > \*\*When I was a kid I was just SURE that Cher’s _Half Breed_ was about a guy named Alfred… > > Alfred! That’s all I ever heard. \*\* I thought she was hollering, “Cab free!” My sister still makes fun of me for that, and thinking the Beatles were singing, “That’s Bobby Love!” instead of “Can’t Buy Me Love.” But what I really came here to share (before **hillbilly queen** sent me rolling on the floor, was that at the end of Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” I thought they were saying, "If you don’t _clean your feet_, you can’t have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don’t _clean your feet_? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-misheard-lyrics-thread/99215.md?page=4)