# the morse key

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-morse-key/8682>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 1, 1999, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-morse-key/8682 "1999-10-01T12:16:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Sam\_Craft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Sam\_Craft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Craft)\
**Post date:** [October 1, 1999, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-morse-key/8682/1 "1999-10-01T12:16:00Z")

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I work for a big company that makes calculators, and I’m part of the tech support team for fixing user problems with the calculators. So I get this call from this old lady who asks me how to put morse code in her granddaughter’s graphing calculator. A little confused, I say that none of our calculators have that capability. “But I’m looking at the key right here! It has a dot-dash-dot, and I just want to know how to use the damn thing!” It took me a few seconds to figure out she was talking about the division key.  
A brief fit of pounding my head into my cubicle desk soon followed.

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**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\
**Post date:** [October 1, 1999, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-morse-key/8682/2 "1999-10-01T13:22:00Z")

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LMAO !

You might wanna check out this link for more of this stuff:  
[http://rinkworks.com/stupid/](http://rinkworks.com/stupid/)

It’s called Computer Stupidities.

Coldfire

* * *

“You know how complex women are”

- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

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**Author:** ![eden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f9b8f/32.png) [@eden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eden)\
**Post date:** [October 1, 1999, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-morse-key/8682/3 "1999-10-01T19:15:00Z")

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Coldfire, that link is great. My co-workers and I laughed so hard a person from another department stuck his head in our door to see what was so funny.

We create websites and CD-ROMs, and we have LOTS of customers who ask really ignorant (sometimes flat-out stupid) questions, but I pity the people in tech support!

My favorite exchange (between me and one of our salespeople:

Me: For us to make a PDF, they’ll need to give us their Quark files. Do you know how many Quark files they have?

Salesperson: 20 megabytes.

Me: Okay, but do you know how many actual files there are?

Salesperson: What’s a file? Just so I know.