# The most absurdly stupid moments in film **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 9, 2008, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823 "2008-01-09T04:26:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/81 "2008-01-09T23:17:28Z")
[QUOTE=Staggerlee] There are bits in the film which Arnie couldn’t be aware of - like when the baddies are tracking him across town before he goes to Mars - which can’t be parts of _his_ imaginary spy adventure (though I get the feeling this has been thoroughly gone over since the 90’s on the internet…). [/QUOTE] Why can’t they be part of his imagination? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2008, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/82 "2008-01-09T23:24:43Z")
[QUOTE=kingpengvin] Not Quite. The bridge crew walk and talk in very subdued tones before the incident. There is a sense that they have to keep quiet which, of course, is totally unnecissary. It was done to mimick Run Silent Run Deep but it forgets the fact Space is a vacuum. I over look it because at the time it was far ahead of anything else on TV for Sci Fi… (Lost in space anyone?) and it is one of the best episodes of the series. [/quote] I agree with Steve that it was psychological. If they showed the Romulans responding to the speaking, then I’d agree that they were stupid. The submarine movie it is based on, btw, is **The Enemy Below** with Bob Mitchum as Kirk and Curt Jurgens as Mark Lenard. 🙂 The ending is quite different, but the German sub had a reason to return to the same course just like the Romulan, and there was a doubling back gambit just like the comet. I got the movie from NetFlix because of this episode, but it is a great movie ST or not. > [@](#): > > But how’s this for Stupid moments on Film. Star Trek TMP. We have a super sophisticated almost godlike probe that was originally from earth and rekajiggered by super smarty pants robots. It gains conciousness, because of all the knowledge it has acquired (Apparently all the knowledge of the Universe cause its super brain is full), and names itself… V’ger. Why? Well that is because it can’t read it’s own name plate. > > “V’ger in another reality I could have called you friend but your reading comprehension skills are deplorable.” Now this one I’ll give you. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it, but I remember some other stupid moments, like Kirk forgetting how to go into warp. No relation, by the way. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2008, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/83 "2008-01-09T23:34:52Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] Do you mean _Balance of Terror_? Savage Curtain was the one with Abe Lincoln, and I don’t remember any sshhs. In Balance of Terror, Spock turns on an instrument by accident, which perfectly reasonably sends out radio noise. Kirks shush was a non-technical reaction. No one was whispering before the noise, IIRC. (One of my favorite episodes, and the movie it is based on is great also.) [/quote] Whoops! How embarassing. Anyway, in _Balance of Terror_, it really looked like Spock did it kinda on purpose, or at least Nimoy didn’t act it out very well. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/84 "2008-01-10T01:52:16Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Actually, the entire premise of the movie **Total Recall** is wrong. In both the Philip K. Dick short story and in the movie (as it’s initially explained), Arnold’s character is supposed to acquire false _memories_. He’s not supposed to undergo a hallucination or a dream or a virtual reality vision or any sort of real-time fantasy adventure. He’s supposed to simply remember things that didn’t actually happen as if they did. Of course, that’d make for a pretty dull movie. You could argue that he’s simply remembering everything that hapened in sequential order, but my memories rarely work like that, and if that were the case, there would have been no possibility of the Rekall guy “breaking into” arnie’s dream – because he wouldn’t be having a dream. [/QUOTE] If you buy that it was all a dream and that the doctor breaking in was genuine, then you would have to accept the doctor’s explanation: That performing the memory implant on someone who under a facade of normality was severely unstable caused him to retreat into a catatonic state where he could live a fantasy based on the memories. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/85 "2008-01-10T02:08:46Z")
All this talk about space battle in hushed, submarine-style tones and no-one seems to have mentioned the fact almost every space battle has sound effects? ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/86 "2008-01-10T02:44:48Z")
All this talk of bullets from “Shoot Em Up” somehow reminded me of one of the most ridiculously stupid action movies of all time: “Mission Impossible II” There are so many scenes to pick from, it’s almost unfair (both villain and hero decide that the best way to take each other out, while they’re on motorcycles, is to drive full speed at each other…and jump off at each other !) But the one that still COMPLETELY boggles me is the stamp-on-the-SAND-and-pop-the-gun-into-your-hand move. Absurd. Stupid. In other words, fits the movie perfectly 😉 ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/87 "2008-01-10T03:02:54Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] How about the fairly recent Clive Owen vehicle, **Shoot 'Em Up**? In the climactic scene, Clive kills Paul Giamatti’s character by putting four bullets between his (own) fingers, _then sticking his hand in a fire_. The bullets somehow go off simultaneously, all four slugs striking Giamatti in the chest from across the room. Hello…recoil? Not to mention severe burns! The bullets went off in less than two seconds. I laughed out loud in the theater, exclaiming “Are you _kidding_ me?!?” as did about half the people in there. [/QUOTE] You DO understand that the movie was a spoof, a parody; that the writer/director was laughing louder than you were? Nothing about that movie was supposed to be remotely believable. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/88 "2008-01-10T03:20:22Z")
[QUOTE=CalMeacham] Actually, the entire premise of the movie **Total Recall** is wrong. In both the Philip K. Dick short story and in the movie (as it’s initially explained), Arnold’s character is supposed to acquire false _memories_. He’s not supposed to undergo a hallucination or a dream or a virtual reality vision or any sort of real-time fantasy adventure. He’s supposed to simply remember things that didn’t actually happen as if they did. [/quote] Which shows that the things happening to him were **real**. They tried to make him think he was dreaming, but they were lying. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/89 "2008-01-10T03:25:57Z")
_Shoot 'Em Up_ is a post-post-modern movie. Imagine the world inhabited by the denizons of the movie _Pulp Fiction_. If _those_ people went to the movies in their world, _Shoot 'Em Up_ is the kind of movie they might see. Clive Owen kills two guys with carrots, for Pete’s sake. And there’s a lactating hooker known by her initials, DQ. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/90 "2008-01-10T04:00:27Z")
[QUOTE=Mahaloth] Battlefield Earth: 1000 years of decay, and the Library of Congress is just barely covered in dust. [/QUOTE] It’s the Denver Public Library. Must be the high altitude. But **Battlefield Earth** reaches the heights of stupidity. The pinnacle is the director’s DVD commentary where he talks about how wonderful everything is. ---
**Author:** ![vison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e47774/32.png) [@vison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vison)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/91 "2008-01-10T04:06:45Z")
There is a movie coming out that is going to top all the stupid moments in all the stupid movies made until this time: a new Rambo movie. I saw the preview the other night and as soon as people saw who it was, I think everyone in the theatre burst into laughter. I don’t think even the promise of enormous amounts of laughter could get me to actually go and watch it. I wonder if anyone will? ---
**Author:** ![yams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/848f3c/32.png) [@yams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yams)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/92 "2008-01-10T05:57:57Z")
So I guess nobody here as seen [Fear.com/FearDotCom](http://Fear.com/FearDotCom), which was an absolutely terrible movie that came out around 2002. It was pre-“The Ring,” but if I remember somewhat correctly, somewhat the same deal, except it was a killer website instead of a killer video. Somehow, there was this Little Dead Girl that kept bothering the Main Character. Unsurprisingly, Main Character decides that figuring out the fate of Little Dead Girl will help her solve the mystery, save her friends, and get the Little Dead Girl’s ghost off her freaking back. She finds the Little Dead Girl’s Parents, and goes to their house to learn about Little Dead Girl’s life. Little Dead Girl’s mom shows Main Character a photo album of Then-Not-Dead-Little Girl, and reminisces about her daughter. “Yes - this is a picture of my daughter Sheila [or whatever]. She was a hemophiliac. [Flips page.] And this is a picture of the abandoned steel yard where she used to love to play.” My first thought was “what the hell! _I’m_ not a hemophiliac and _my_ mom never let _me_ play in an abandoned steel yard!” And I became very bitter about my childhood, which was wasted in playgrounds and front yards, with nary a visit to a steel yard, rendering plant, or abandoned nuclear waste processing facility. And then I recovered my senses, and realized that, actually, what I was feeling was not bitterness towards my childhood, but a growing sense that I had just paid $9 to watch the Absolute Worst Movie Ever. I had suspected as much since the dawn of the opening credits, but it was that scene which confirmed my suspicions. love yams!! ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/93 "2008-01-10T06:44:06Z")
[QUOTE=nocturnal\_tick] All this talk about space battle in hushed, submarine-style tones and no-one seems to have mentioned the fact almost every space battle has sound effects? [/QUOTE] _Firefly/Serenity_ had absolute silence in space, which was just one of the countless cool things about it. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/94 "2008-01-10T06:45:01Z")
Since we’re talking about stupid _moments_ (as opposed to stupid plots where the entire movie is stupid), there’s a scene in _Spider Man 2_ that I think is a really stupid moment… but when I explain/show it to people, they’re like “what’s the big deal?” Nothing… except it’s IMPOSSIBLE. (Yeah, I know: complaining about impossibility in a movie about a superhero who assumed their powers 'cause of a radioactive spider bite. 😉 ) Spidey and Doc Ock are fighting on the train. Doc picks up Spidey, throws Spiderman _ahead_ of him. Spidey goes through a walking platform, twisting his body so he could make it through, and on the other sides he catches up to Doc Ock from _behind_, tackling him. You know, I’ll accept the web-shooting, the train-stopping, stuff like that merely to get into the story, but I have always assumed that general basic laws of speed and velocity still hold true in all adventure stories. But people seem to have no problem believing that you can throw something ahead of you and have the same object tackle you from behind seconds later, as it travels along the course launched. So it’s obviously just me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/95 "2008-01-10T07:18:53Z")
Almost 100 posts and I’m the first to mention the Indiana Jones ‘inflatable raft as parachute’? ---
**Author:** ![neorxnawange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f4b2a3/32.png) [@neorxnawange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neorxnawange)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/96 "2008-01-10T07:22:56Z")
[QUOTE=JohnT] Since we’re talking about stupid _moments_ (as opposed to stupid plots where the entire movie is stupid), there’s a scene in _Spider Man 2_ that I think is a really stupid moment… but when I explain/show it to people, they’re like “what’s the big deal?” Nothing… except it’s IMPOSSIBLE. (Yeah, I know: complaining about impossibility in a movie about a superhero who assumed their powers 'cause of a radioactive spider bite. 😉 ) Spidey and Doc Ock are fighting on the train. Doc picks up Spidey, throws Spiderman _ahead_ of him. Spidey goes through a walking platform, twisting his body so he could make it through, and on the other sides he catches up to Doc Ock from _behind_, tackling him. [/QUOTE] I don’t remember the scene. So Ock throws Spidey forward up into the air, meanwhile the train continues to accelerate, right? If this is the case then why couldn’t Spidey’s deceleration fall behind the continued acceleration of the train? (Assuming Spidey was thrown outside of the train where he would have immediately encountered wind resistance equal to that of the speed of the train.) Am I wrong? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/97 "2008-01-10T08:19:40Z")
[QUOTE=neorxnawange] I don’t remember the scene. So Ock throws Spidey forward up into the air, meanwhile the train continues to accelerate, right? If this is the case then why couldn’t Spidey’s deceleration fall behind the continued acceleration of the train? (Assuming Spidey was thrown outside of the train where he would have immediately encountered wind resistance equal to that of the speed of the train.) Am I wrong? [/QUOTE] OK, assume that Spidey lost speed 'cause of wind resistance and the train was accelerating, causing Spidey to somehow come to a point behind Doc Ock (which isn’t so because it’s well-established that DO threw him _forward_). Now that SM is behind the doctor how does he catch up to Doc Ock? Are we going to also assume a gust of wind that blew SM forward? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/98 "2008-01-10T09:32:05Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Why can’t they be part of his imagination? [/QUOTE] If Arnie was conscious of the baddies’ actions despite not being present, he surely would have been completely freaked out at his sudden ability to astrally project, and/or use this to his advantage in outwitting them - like when they ambush him outside the lift (elevator). The stupidity of having a super-microwave which boiled water in the sewers without cooking Gotham’s population was a stupid moment in an otherwise great film ( **Batman Begins** ). ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/99 "2008-01-10T10:01:47Z")
Maybe Spidey have these spider-thrusters in his… um… you know. That would explain a lot about physic of his movement. ---
**Author:** ![motomoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a9adbd/32.png) [@motomoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/motomoon)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2008, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823/100 "2008-01-10T10:47:12Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] The truck would have been on top of him in about .00000002 seconds, motor or pedal bike, yet the kid outraces him for a solid five minute ‘mounting tension’ scene. [/QUOTE] No, the answer is there if you pay attention to the audio during that scene. You see, John Conner had the foresight to buy a dirt bike with 75 forward gears because that’s the only reason I can think that he would need to upshift every three seconds. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-absurdly-stupid-moments-in-film/432823.md?page=6)