# The most awkward Jesus painting is ... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 23, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040 "2013-10-23T16:58:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/1 "2013-10-23T16:58:57Z")
There are plenty of ways to blaspheme, even unintentionally, but I think artist Nathan Greene has hit enough of them [here](http://theamericanjesus.net/?p=10943). ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/2 "2013-10-23T17:20:16Z")
Wow Jesus quasi porn. I looked at some of the others in the link on the page you linked to and are they weird. Thanks for sharing **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/3 "2013-10-23T17:22:36Z")
Cinemax Jesus is my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/4 "2013-10-23T17:34:35Z")
I give you [Boxing Jesus.](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_gav5ZBXdeBM/Shw3F3CcwHI/AAAAAAAAADY/GHDJhul49TY/s320/Boxing+Jesus.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/5 "2013-10-23T17:39:31Z")
A word to the wise-Do NOT Google “Porno Jesus”. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/6 "2013-10-23T17:43:34Z")
I’m gonna go out and find a 1974 Ford Econoline van and have that painted on the side. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/7 "2013-10-23T17:58:37Z")
The fact that the tiger is strategically posed to cover Adam’s manhood is the best part. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/8 "2013-10-23T18:01:58Z")
What I really want is Jesus playing poker with dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/9 "2013-10-23T18:06:04Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > What I really want is Jesus playing poker with dogs. …and being the one passing the ace between his toes. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/10 "2013-10-23T18:07:43Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > What I really want is Jesus playing poker with dogs. Bow(wow) down and worship [Google Fu Master!](http://media.egotvonline.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/jesus-poker.jpg?41ed4f) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/11 "2013-10-23T18:47:57Z")
Love that everyone except Jesus follows modern grooming, and, for most of them, dressing practices. In Garden of Eden Jesus, Jesus appears to be sporting a mullet too… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/12 "2013-10-23T18:56:45Z")
Where’d Adam and Eve get their hair done? Maybe that’s what Jesus is talking to them about. ---
**Author:** ![buckgully](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb9ed0/32.png) [@buckgully](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buckgully)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/13 "2013-10-23T19:01:18Z")
I like [Orbital Laser Battle Platform: Jesus](http://www.thecollectionshop.com/xq/ASP/Nathan_Greene_Light_of_the_world_studio_canvas_giclee/S.AG2027L/A.244/qx/Limited_Edition_Art_Detail_Page.htm) He died for your sins, and ascended into heaven to blast wave after endless wave of alien invaders. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/14 "2013-10-23T19:14:36Z")
There’s always [Second Amendment Jesus.](http://badattitudes.com/MT/jesus-gun.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/15 "2013-10-23T19:17:09Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > There’s always [Second Amendment Jesus.](http://badattitudes.com/MT/jesus-gun.jpg) Now that is scary! ---
**Author:** ![Simplicio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c37758/32.png) [@Simplicio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simplicio)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/16 "2013-10-23T19:22:04Z")
> [@bup](#): > > Where’d Adam and Eve get their hair done? Maybe that’s what Jesus is talking to them about. Dunno, but Adam is pretty ripped for a guy that doesn’t do anything but lounge around paradise all day. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/17 "2013-10-23T20:14:54Z")
[Gay Jesus.](http://jesusinlove.blogspot.com/2012/03/gay-jesus-kiss-corpus-christi-play.html) ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/18 "2013-10-23T20:47:30Z")
How could he possibly leave out [this one](http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/files/2012/08/spain-jesus-restoration.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/19 "2013-10-23T21:19:03Z")
> [@buckgully](#): > > I like [Orbital Laser Battle Platform: Jesus](http://www.thecollectionshop.com/xq/ASP/Nathan_Greene_Light_of_the_world_studio_canvas_giclee/S.AG2027L/A.244/qx/Limited_Edition_Art_Detail_Page.htm) > > He died for your sins, and ascended into heaven to blast wave after endless wave of alien invaders. But that’s [Kenny Loggins Jesus!](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://turntabling.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/bad-album-covers-kenny-loggins-keep-the-fire.jpg&imgrefurl=http://turntabling.net/album/wtf/wtf-bad-album-covers-kenny-loggins-keep-the-fire/&h=494&w=500&sz=75&tbnid=KqW3FjZWEMa6IM:&tbnh=104&tbnw=105&zoom=1&usg=__7iJifTn6lgsMRWPu9vqeJGxOdTU=&docid=fHv452I4X3a40M&sa=X&ei=NTxoUpitOsGtiQKyiIHgDg&ved=0CCsQ9QEwAA) My favorite has always been[\*\* Buddy Jesus \*\*](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddy_Christ)from **Dogma** , which you can apparently buy on [amazon](http://www.amazon.com/BUDDY-CHRIST-Statue-Figurine-Smiths/dp/B002065JM6) as an action figure or a bobble-head. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040/20 "2013-10-23T22:45:53Z")
How about [Golf Jesus!](http://www.catholicsupply.com/christmas/golf.html) (scroll about 1/2 way down the page - you’ll know it when you see it.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-awkward-jesus-painting-is/672040.md?page=2)