The most "bad ass" act you have witnessed?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Psycho Rich. Welshman. Grows Christmas trees.

How Rich became Psycho Rich

At university, and Chris has locked his keys in his van. There’s a group of fellow students discussing tactics. Do you have a coat hanger? What’s the trick with half a tennis ball? And so on.

Up ambles Psycho Rich.

“You’ve got your keys locked in there, Chris”, says Psycho Rich, who proceeds to shake a crowbar out of his trouser leg, beat in the window, hand Chris his keys, re-sheath the inexplicable crowbar and exit stage left. Resounding chorus of :eek:

The psycho end of badass, but still badass.

At our wedding I met him coming out of the ladies. Completely deadpan. I didn’t ask.

22

My own personal act of badassery:

When I worked in rental property management, we owned a rooming house fill of the most disreputable people you can image. One of the worst badasses came in one day and started arguing with me. He lunged across my desk, I pushed my chair back and brought my knee up.

I managed to hit him square in the nose and cause a serious nosebleed.

I never had a lick of trouble from any of the roomers after that. They were all scared to death of me.

23

I once returned a videotape without rewinding.

Hey! 10 years ago that was FUNNY!

24

Well I guess I do have my one badass moment.

Back in high school a friend and I produced illegal all-age concerts. We’d rent a grange hall or union hall and get bands to play, we kept 1/3 of the door and had the bands split the rest.

Our last show we managed to get some fairly noteworthy local bands to play. They brought in a much rougher crowd. During my friend’s band’s set, I let our security dude take a smoke break. Of course- nearly immediately a fight breaks out in the crowd. I vault over the front desk run over and pull the two dudes apart. I yell “take it ourside!” and someone from the crowd responds with “Their brothers! Let 'em fight!”
A circle forms around me and the two dudes-apparently brothers- who start stepping up to me. I have them each at arms length on either side of me. I say to them “Take it outside and when you are done, you can enjoy the rest of the concert.”
There’s a bit of a staredown and then the two brothers break off and go toward the exit. My friend who was lead singer for the band said “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s thank Push You Down for putting this show together and breaking up fights.”

The audience cheered.

It was all downhill from there.

25

My grandfather’s brother was very strong, the kind of strong that made folks’ jaws drop.

I didn’t see it, but my Dad says he saw him crawl under a pickup truck, lift the trucks’ transmission into place and then hold it there with one hand while bolting it into place with the other.

26

I’ll tell one on my Dad while I’m at it. He grew up “shooting” things with rubber bands — those thick amber-colored rubber bands, sliced through, holding one end and pulling back the other and popping things with it. He was (and is) constantly eliminating flies from the household using his rubber band, splatting them wherever & whenever they light.

Anyway, on a few separate occasions I saw him deal with a nest of southern paper wasps …not in the relatively sane, approved methods of waiting until dark, drugging them with tobacco smoke and then dousing them in gasoline and lighting them up… or deploying spray insecticide — uh uh! No, he’d spray the freaking nest with a garden hose from 10 feet away and then with the entire nest’s population of pissed-off wasps flying around furiously, looking for something to sting, he’d shoot them out of the air with his rubber band.

27

I may have posted this before, but it was definite badassery and deserves posting again.

Ages back, when I was but a wee and punkish youth, my friends and I took it upon ourselves to head to the local fly-by-night carnival that had set up in a dingy field on the edge of town. There was the usual assortment of pricey games for crappy prizes, and rides that rattled and moaned like they were inches away from shaking themselves to oblivion. Dauntless, we chose to ride one, the Gravitron, one of those spinning deals where you get pressed against the wall. As the ride is loading, a couple enters with a very young daughter, whom the male of the couple decided to hold on his chest - this seemed like a very bad idea, but who were we to question? The ride continues to fill, and across the drum from that couple, a big, mean looking biker dude settles in to his spot. The ride operator, in a little booth in the middle of the ride, starts the gears in play, then puts on his headphones and starts reading a magazine (of the adult variety) as the ride begins to spin.

Sure enough, about halfway through the ride, disaster strikes. The wee girl slips from the guys chest, and rolls to the side, her head slipping between the slats that everyone was pressed against…the slats that, when the ride stops, pinch closed. People start screaming, imagining what is gonna happen to the little girl. Some folks are trying to get the ride operator’s attention, but he is otherwise occupied, and their shouts can barely be heard above the din of the machine.

Suddenly, above the din, we hear a roar like a lion. Across the way, we watch the biker dude straining and roaring, as he pulls himself from the wall. He forces himself forward, his muscles straining, and reaching out, grabs a rail that is in front of him…and then slowly, carefully, fights the force of the Gravitron as he pulls himself around to the little girl. Placing his feet to either side of her, he continues to fight the tremendous force to lower himself down carefully, then reaches down, scoops her in his arms, and brings her to his chest, holding her tightly against the power of the spinning ride.

Finally, the operator looks up, sees what is happening, and slows the ride. The biker guy hangs on as the ride slows enough that people can move again, then finally sets the girl down as the spinning stops. He looks as if he might collapse, but then stands up, gives the girl’s (presumed) dad a stern look, then turns his mighty, vengeful gaze on the ride operator. He leans over the rail, and in a deep, menacing tone, says “You need to pay more attention to your work, boy.” And then he exited the ride.

Sheer, utter, total badass.

28

Great story!

29

What’s a videotape Granddaddy?

30

Rick reminded me of this one.

My Grandfather was the quintessential Irishman. Not tall, but powerfully built, and had spent his teen (Great Depression) years driving railroad spikes into the frozen ground of NH and VT as part of a team consisting entirely of his own brothers. Generations of stone masons in our family. Solid guy; we’re talking strong.

He also had a thing about bad language in front of ladies. You just didn’t do it.

My Dad and Uncle were on top of the house, finishing a wall (they were building a new room to accomodate their new baby sister) and my dad realized that he needed one more concrete block to finish. (similar to breeze block or cinder block, but far more solid.) Going up and down ladders with blocks is never fun, and he was quite upset that he’d miscounted. He began to cuss.

My Grandfather, noticing the neighbor lady talking to my Grandmother in the nearby backyard, saw red. He picked up a concrete block and tossed it up to my Dad - as casually as tossing a beach ball - and said “There’s your block, now watch your mouth!”

Dad was sitting across the roof line, and barely managed to stay on when the thing hit him, square in the stomach.

31

This is my one moment of bad-ass ninja reflexes…

During high school, my buddy had thrown his keys up on the dash of the car, while I was driving. I took a hard right, and the keys shot across the dash and out my window.

Without really thinking, I turned my head to my left, and shot my left arm out the window and caught the keys out at arm’s length as I continued the turn.

32

The most bad-ass thing I can think of, I didn’t actually get to see. It happened a few blocks from my house, but it’s so bad-ass that I feel that I should be able to submit it.

This happened back in the 80s, by the way. I’m probably a bit shaky on the details.

A woman had been kidnapped and was being driven away (she was in the passenger seat, the kidnapper was driving). She caught the eye of a local guy on a motorcycle and mouthed the words “Help me”.

The motorcyclist followed the car for a bit, and I guess became convinced that no, she wasn’t just joking around. However, he was on a motorcycle, and the woman was trapped in the car- so what could he do?

*He pulled up alongside the car, jumped off of his bike, and crawled in through the sunroof and forced the kidnapper to pull over, that’s what.
*
That’s bad ass, bitches.

33

I was on the 16th street mall, waiting for the mall ride, about 10-15 feet behind me was a group of 4 or 5 black kids, all dressed up and joking and carrying on. I was 36, 6’6", 275 and had been working out.

One of them tosses something that strikes my ear, causing them all to laugh.

I don’t know why I did it, but I just turned around and stared at them with a ‘If you’re so cool, do it again while I’m looking at ya.’ stare. They immediately went silent, looking everywhere but at me.

This lasted about 10 seconds when one of the mall security jogged over to them, said something quietly to them and they bolted.

Sure wish I knew what he said.

34

Here’s a bad ass moment of my own:

When living on capitol hill years ago, I would rollerblade to and from work. Worked out great – much faster and more enjoyable than walking, and I never seemed to fall… until one day, when I was returning home. I was using the bike lane on E. capitol street ( I think) smiling smugly as I flew past the cars that were caught in some kind of jam. Suddenly, my eyes caught a stick lying directly in my path. Not a huge stick, but big enough to cause me some serious problems considering my skates were pretty much hitting it as I noticed it.

Down I went, face first towards the concrete. Whether it was the dive rolls that we used to do for warmups in wrestling practice or just luck, I instinctively put my arms out and tucked my head towards my chest. The result: a high speed somersault that somehow resulted in me back on my feet and still skating forward! Not sure how many people, if any, noticed; I was happy enough to let the adrenaline rush subside as I skated off with a red face, sore wrists, and all remnants of the smug smile removed.

35

Great stories.

My own bad ass moment happened at my home.

We will have friends over for dinner and games and such, and they will often bring a dog of their own. We own dogs as well. And sometimes, well twice, fur has started to fly. Now I’ve always been told to never try to break up a dog fight, but it can be done. You just got to make them more scared of you then they are of each other.

This takes a bit of commitment a very loud voice and the ability to jump into the frey and scare the hell out of the dogs.

It’s almost if the dogs think “Is he INSANE this is a dog fight here”.

Ya’ have to be able to be REAL loud and just dive into it. I can ROAR. This is not a yell or a scolding. It’s not NO! This is an out and out ROAR. This scares the shit out of them and sends them to their corners worried about a different threat. That’s how you break up a dog fight. Get their attention and make them afraid of a different threat.

The last one I broke up was in the living room. I was cooking in the kitchen and got to the dogs before anyone had even stood up. I think I scared my guests as much as I scared the dogs.

(don’t try this at home, make sure you have a professional roar’er and a closed course)

Oh, my Wife is an IronMan triathlete. Not too much stuff is more bad ass than that.

36

I was on the bus one days years ago and it was standing room only, and these young African American, trying to be all “gansta” type guys (the sort many hesitate to challenge) sitting near the front remained seated when a heavily pregnant woman with 2 heavy bags boarded and proceeded to stand next to them as the bus lurched forward.

Several seconds passed before an eldery (also African American) man with a cane sitting nearby stood and walked over to them.

“Boys, GIT your asses out of that seat! What you thinking about? You see this lady here? I know you do…you listen to me…I KNOW your mommas didn’t raise you like this…y’all ought to be 'shamed! GIT your young selves up and let this lady sit down!”

The transformation of thse “gangstas” into embarrased little boys who slunk out of their seats and traded places with the lady and her bags was both amusing and pretty bad-ass on that man’s part, imo. The bus actually broke out in applause. :cool: You GO grand-dad! :smiley:

37

And I nominate myself for 2 bad-ass moments (all that and MODEST, too :p)
(hey, give me something…I am not the sort to be very bad-ass, as a rule)

The first occurred when my son was a baby. We were out for a walk one day, him in his stroller, and came upon a group of kids, maybe 11 to 13 in age. There were about 6 kids surrounding this one boy on a bike, and it was obvious to me from the body language that they were threatening him and trying to steal his bike. One of them had hold of the handlebars and others kept pushing and punching at him while he tried to fend them off.

As I got closer, they noticed me and tried to play like they were just hanging out with their bud…all nice like, but the boy on the bike looked at me and his face told the real story.

I said, “Y’all need to let go of his bike and get back.”

These kids actually turned on me and starting cussing me out. “Mind your own business, bitch.” etc.

I said, “This IS my business, punk. I live in this neighborhood and I am witnessing a crime. I said GET BACK and LET HIM GO!” (I was, in truth, not feeling as confident as I tried to come off…me with my baby in tow, outnumbered 6 to one, never been a fighter, and more than a little shocked that kids this age would be so bold when faced with adult authority! :eek:)

But I DESPISE bullies, having known a few myself as a kid, and I guess my anger and authoritative stance was convincing, because after a few moments of trying to stare me down and exchanging glances, they backed off. The intended victim fled, calling back “Thanks!” over his shoulder, and I waited there until he was long gone. Score one for the home team. :smiley:

The other incident happened when I was 8 mths preggers with my daughter. I got off work and was waiting in a long line for my bus home. Just as the bus pulls up, this 20-something yr old guy runs up, pushes his way into the front of the line and boards. :mad:

Now I was bone tired, my feet hurt, just wanted to get home and be able to SIT DOWN while I did it, and here comes captain me-first. :mad:

When I made it on, I made my way to the back of the bus where he was sitting (and where the only few open seats were) and gave him a piece of my mind.

“Why the hell do you think we were standing in line? What gives you the right to cut? Huh? Who do you think you are, asshole?” Etc.

He just sat there and look terrified the whole time, and after I sat down and opened my book, he kept looking over at me as if he feared I might jump up and attack him. (very gratifying :D)

A few days later, I happened to see him on the same bus, speaking with two women and shaking his head when someone said something to him in English, and realized he was Eastern European and didn’t even speak/understand English.

No WONDER he was so freaked out, lol, huge pregnant woman verbally assaulting him in a strange language. :stuck_out_tongue: Serves him right…I KNOW they have lines where he comes from, not like the concept is foreign to him. And if he didn’t know why I was so pissed, he SHOULD have!

Don’t mess with the hormonal. You always lose.

38

About five years ago, I was walking our dog, a corgi, when some a-hole in the neighborhood left his gate open with his 90 lbs and very vicious German Shepard guard dog completely loose. The dog ran up to my dog, and proceeded to attack her trying to rip out her neck and flinging her around like a ragdoll. Without thinking, I tackled the dog and beat the living shit out of it, strangling it, punching it in the face and getting bitten several times on the hands in the process to save our dog. While I only vaguely remember the incident now because of the adrenalin, by the time the other neighbors came out to see what all the commotion was from my dog’s horrible yelping, they said they couldn’t believe I had the balls to take on a 90 lbs guard dog because it could have ripped out my neck at any moment. After the a-hole neighbor hauled the dog away, I took my dog down to a 24 hour animal hospital, then drove myself to the emergency room - amazingly, despite my hands looking like puffed up mittens, I didn’t have a single broken bone! Our dog, by the way, made a full recovery though at the time they gave her 50/50 adds of surviving the ordeal. The a-hole, by the way, got sent all the vet bills and my emergency room bill and surprisingly paid them no questions asked - he was terrified I was going to sue him, but I didn’t see the point. Animal control came and took his dog away the next day.

39

Yeah, but just try to get away with that these days when you return a DVD. :eek:

40

Mom was getting ready to take me to school one day (I think I was in 9th grade). She worked in an office downtown so she was dressed in a conservative suit and heels and had a few files and a sheaf of papers under her arm. We walk out to the driveway, she opens the car door, and I saw that some guy (who looked like the singer of Nickelback) was crouched inside with some tools. He was obviously trying to hotwire our car and steal it.

For a split second I was in that weird limbo wherein your normal routine is interrupted by a new variable and you stand there thinking, “What the hell is this doing here?” Every day my mom opened the car door to take me to school, every day we got in, every day it was normal. Now there was some long-haired douchebag with a goatee in our car and I was thrown for a loop. I was thinking, “Huh. What’s that guy doing there?”

Finally I said, “There’s somebody in the car!” Mom pushed me behind her and said, “Get behind me” and then went about beating the living shit out of this guy. “Get the fuck out of there!!!” she screamed, while beating him with her files and papers and then giving him a spike heel to the face. Dude ran off, bruised and bloody, leaving behind all of his tools and the fingerprints they were covered in.

There has been alot of badassness in this thread, but nothing can compare to the badassness of a mother. NOTHING.