# The Most Base, Crude, Grossest Come-On You've Fielded **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 31, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489 "2009-03-31T20:20:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/121 "2009-04-05T16:47:27Z")
It was the summer after high school graduation. I was at a train station in one of the wind shelters, reading a book. Another train patron enters the shelter and waits too. A man, probably late thirties. After awhile he says “would you happen to know when the next train is?” I tell him, continue reading my book. A few minutes later he says, “would you happen to know what time it is?” I look at my watch, and tell him. Continue reading my book. A few minutes later he says “would you happen to want a blowjob?” I managed to keep from laughing out loud and merely smirked and said “umm… no thanks” and went back to reading my book. He left shortly after. ---
**Author:** ![Hakuna\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hakuna\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hakuna_Matata)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/122 "2009-04-05T16:58:58Z")
> [@ShelliBean](#): > > :eek: > > Oh. My. God. > I have spent almost all night there. > Thank you. word I spent all day at that site yesterday. My wife and I enjoyed it, the blog writer is a very good writer. I am still trying to decide if my favorite was the Cougar post or the Coupon Guy from Oklahoma. Classic–both of them. thanks again Lynn ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/123 "2009-04-05T23:20:57Z")
1991, Indianapolis 500 fairgrounds, the Saturday before the race. I had driven out with my brother from St. Louis, where he was in law school, to meet a bunch of his buddies from NJ who were driving two RVs out for the weekend. My one and only time there, and it was quite a party. We got there Friday night and it was rainy and cold. Hundreds, if not thousands of people were camping for the weekend. Saturday afternoon I went for a walk around the grounds alone. I had already been drinking a few hours and along the way I met many friendly people from all over the country, and most were offering beer and good conversation. At one point I walked past an RV with a pretty cute woman who was sitting by herself. “Want a beer?” she asked. Certainly. “How about doing a beer bong?” Umm… ok! (I was two years out of college and my beer bong skills were still intact.) After that she said, “Do you wanna fool around?” Umm… ok! “Do you have a place we can go? (points to her own RV) My husband is passed out inside.” Umm… I gotta go! ---
**Author:** ![Race\_Harley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecccb3/32.png) [@Race\_Harley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Race_Harley)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/124 "2009-04-06T00:19:11Z")
Maybe not as bad as most or that it should be posted here but this past Friday night/Saturday morning, my friends and I (three of us) were propositioned by a woman who stated that she wanted to “replace the money” she just spent buying drinks in a hole-in-the-wall party. Had she left out the quoted remark, it would have passed as normal drucken conversation. Needless to say, we passed. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/125 "2009-04-06T00:45:39Z")
Most vile I’ve heard that worked? [QUOTE=A friend of mine to a random stranger] Want to come out to my ute for some coffee? [/QUOTE] Most vile that didn’t work? [QUOTE=Someone in a Newcastle nightclub to a rugby teammate] I’m on the rag, but if you want to I’ll let ya grog me shitter. [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/126 "2009-04-06T02:37:50Z")
Actually, there was another. About six months ago I was walking to the station on a Saturday evening. I was trailing a group of four or five fourteen-to-sixteen year old girls trying to look thirty-five and instead looking like six year olds playing dress-up with their mummy’s clothes and the entire contents of her make-up case. The “my mother the crack whore” tableau. You know the sort. Anyway, a car pulled up on the other side of the road, and the twenty-something driver leaned out the window and started slurring something incomprehensible, but clearly less than pleasant/legal/sanitary at the girls - the only word I could make out was the final “HOWABOUTITEH?” - and flung open his back door. Wow, thought I. That sort of thing really happens? But thinking quickly, I stepped onto the grass strip and yelled back. “Thanks for the offer, mate, but I’m straight. You’re not really my type”. For the record, I was 33, 6’4" with a shaved head and around 135 kilograms. I’m not exactly most people’s type myself. This put him off, somehow. Across three lanes, I could hear his train of thought derailing. I could smell smoke from the gears his thought processes were grinding. He started up again “Hey, chickies - why don’t you…” I cut him off - “It’s no good coming on to them once I’ve turned you down, mate - it’d just make them feel cheap”. He stopped again. “Fuck you, you…” This was getting easy. “No, I just told you I’m straight. I’d prefer we just stay friends”. He realised that he was being laughed at by pretty much everyone, closed the back door and peeled out as if to prove that his penis was still an outie. I like to remember that he crashed into a bus when he screamed around the corner. He didn’t, but I like to remember it that way. I assume that the girls got to wherever they were going, drank themselves into oblivion and were cheerfully date-raped. A classic fable of Stanmore. ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/127 "2009-04-06T03:41:10Z")
The resident lothario at my local pub sat down beside me and told me that if I went home with him I wouldn’t be disappointed. When I told him “thanks, but I’m not interested” he scanned the room and then pointed out – and I mean he literally used his index finger to point out – two women in the bar he assured me would attest to his sexual prowess. When I replied that the thought of him one day pointing at _me_ as a hook-up reference made me want to take a Silkwood shower, he shrugged and blithely moved on to someone else. And add me to the list of women who have been physically restrained as they tried to walk away from some persistent jagoff. Men who’ve grabbed my arm and barked “where do you think you’re going?” or “I’m not finished talking to you yet” were made to regret it. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/128 "2009-04-06T04:15:35Z")
> [@Telperien](#): > > I guess the person without the dick is just a receptacle, then. Only if you give a receipt, honey. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/129 "2009-04-06T04:29:46Z")
> [@PotLuck](#): > > The resident lothario at my local pub sat down beside me and told me that if I went home with him I wouldn’t be disappointed. When I told him “thanks, but I’m not interested” he scanned the room and then pointed out – and I mean he literally used his index finger to point out – two women in the bar he assured me would attest to his sexual prowess. When I replied that the thought of him one day pointing at _me_ as a hook-up reference made me want to take a Silkwood shower, he shrugged and blithely moved on to someone else. > > And add me to the list of women who have been physically restrained as they tried to walk away from some persistent jagoff. Men who’ve grabbed my arm and barked “where do you think you’re going?” or “I’m not finished talking to you yet” were made to regret it. I haven’t had men point out women who could give references, but I have had several men tell me that they could totally satisfy my every need. Total strangers, mind you, thought that they knew and could fulfill my every sexual fantasy. I’ve also had guys try to restrain me. I’ve never kicked them in the balls, but I did break a couple ribs on one guy, and I’ve found shin-kicking to be a very effective tactic, too. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/130 "2009-04-06T04:40:53Z")
> [@BaneSidhe](#): > > I don’t know what my husband said to him when he found out what this model citizen said to me, but the jackass never spoke to me again, much less looked at me. He retired about 2 years later and “strangely enough” not ONE woman in the office showed up at his retirement party. Years back, we had a partner at our law firm who was notorious for propositioning, or even grabbing, women on the support staff. One secretary, fed up with him, very politely pointed to the picture of her large, muscular, black husband on her desk and said “this is my husband. He’s picking me up after work today. I’d love for you to meet him.” The lawyer, being a nerdy little man with racist tendendcies (meaning he was terrifed of black people), never bothered her again. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/131 "2009-04-06T15:18:21Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > No, I guess **Uncommon Sense** meant that he wasn’t just going to lie back and take it, and however aggressive and enthusiatic his propositioner was planning on being, he was going to give back as good as he got, with interest, 'cos he was as into it as she was, plus some. 🆒 Yep, thanks! ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2009, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/132 "2009-04-06T15:26:12Z")
[http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/](http://whywomenhatemen.blogspot.com/) - Priceless. From the blog: > [@](#): > > Just remember the hotter you are and the flirtier you are and the more sexual in your windows you are the better your chances are to get me to sleep with you with in those first three dates! Aside from how silly that is, sexual in your windows? Does that have anything to do with window sex? And does this blog have a message board? Someone needs to make one devoted to a similar topic; I could post there for years and never run out of stories. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2009, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489/133 "2009-04-07T15:31:31Z")
One more, from a distant acquaintance in high school… he used to brag about the great success rate that he’d get by telling girls, “You may as well blow me, because I’m going to tell everyone you did anyway.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-base-crude-grossest-come-on-youve-fielded/491489.md?page=6)