# The most COMPETANT groups of evil minions? (In movies, 'natch) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 25, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824 "2003-07-25T07:16:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mephisto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@Mephisto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mephisto)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/21 "2003-07-25T18:39:55Z")
What about the Borg? Judging from the Star Trek movies, they seem better at the starship-boarding and raygun-fighting thing than your average red-shirted security guard or away team member. In many movies, even the unnamed among both the Nazis and Mafiosi come across as people with whom it would be best not to trifle. Also, in many of the movies I watch, these folks do their jobs very well, which is why the Good Guys must frequently put together elite teams or recruit outside help to put the Bad Guys out of business. Although they often seem kind of clownish as individuals, the post-apocalypse gangs that terrorize Australia in the Mad Max movies are composed of a bunch of characters I would hate to fight or race against. I wouldn’t hire those guys for any project that took a lot of organisation, but as terrorists of the wasteland they do a pretty good job (until Mel Gibson shows up). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/22 "2003-07-25T18:46:08Z")
The undead army in Army of Darkness did a damn fine job. There were moments when the robot armies in G.I. Joe did well enough. But only moments. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/23 "2003-07-25T22:19:13Z")
Longshanks’ armies, when commanded by the king himself, in **Braveheart.** Did very well… though of course they did have superior weapons, horses, armaments and a willingness to cut down their own troops in combat with arrows, along with the enemy. That’s damned ruthless but effective. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2003, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/24 "2003-07-25T22:23:33Z")
Oh! and the Orc armies’ attack on Helm’s Deep in _Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers._ They overwhelmed the joint if not for that damned Gandalf and the Ents… ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/25 "2003-07-26T02:26:04Z")
That fine crew of anti-heros in Swordfish , with John Travolta Always nice to see proper villains Speaking of which , lol Oceans 11 the repeat performance Declan ---
**Author:** ![Super\_Gnat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/26 "2003-07-26T02:45:20Z")
The toy soldiers in _Small Soldiers_ were pretty good at wreaking havoc. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/27 "2003-07-26T06:17:46Z")
Magneto’s brotherhood of mutants did pretty well in the first X-men movie. They were very effective in separating each member of the X-men and exploiting their weaknesses. Toad in particular was remarkable considering his rather lackluster powers. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/28 "2003-07-26T06:56:14Z")
Assuming we’re allowed to use characters from books, I nominate the Cauldron-Born from Lloyd Alexander’s Prydain series. Can’t get much better than a legion of invincible zombies. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/29 "2003-07-26T08:17:11Z")
No doubt the Amazon women in Jackie chan’s _Armor of God_. ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/30 "2003-07-26T14:21:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > \*\*If they’re all clones, then why are they not all of the same height? And why do they all have different voices? Just a nitpick… \*\* Shut up! That’s why! Seriously, though, these are not the clones you are looking for. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/31 "2003-07-26T15:09:14Z")
Before they got massacred, the Dragonslayers from **Vision of Escaflowene** did pretty well. Would have done even better if they didn’t have to spend half their time saving thier nutcase commander. Even after they got massacred, they did pretty good, actually. The Zentradi from **Macross/Robotech** gave a good accounting of themselves as a force, though one-on-one they were a little unreliable. – ‘How can they keep missing this huge, slow moving white thing?’ ---
**Author:** ![LIT123](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5daacb/32.png) [@LIT123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LIT123)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/32 "2003-07-26T17:39:04Z")
It was TV and not movies, but Harmony’s Minions in Buffy, the Vampire Slayer did what she asked. 1. Killed magic shop owner. 2. Got slayer books so Harmony could study dust cover blurbs. 3. Bonus- brought back cheap, tacky unicorn statuary. 4. Captured Dawn. 5. Got dusted while Harmony made her escape. 6. Provided comedic relief What more could you want from minions? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824/33 "2003-07-27T00:54:35Z")
I submit that (not in a movie, admittedly) the Big Bad wolf was pretty competent when it came to impersonating an aging human female… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-competant-groups-of-evil-minions-in-movies-natch/190824.md?page=1)