# The most effective gopher death **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 21, 2008, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047 "2008-05-21T01:46:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/21 "2008-05-21T17:32:15Z")
Antifreeze. Just pour some in a bowl, not down the hole. It works for prairie dogs so I reckon it’ll do the same for other rodents. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/22 "2008-05-21T17:33:20Z")
Death by beagle. He has killed 4 groundhogs and 10 moles. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/23 "2008-05-21T18:20:40Z")
Gopher snake, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/24 "2008-05-21T18:22:44Z")
I guess since you are a town dweller a firearm is out of the question. Is is against your local laws to discharge an airgun? Plenty of affordable airguns churn up enough oomph to dispatch the lowly gopher. My grandfather, who could be rather…dramatic when dealing with lawn n’ garden pests, used to dump wood alchohol into all the entrances of their burrows he could locate. Then he’d give the fumes a chance to spread and light it all off. Mostly they died underground, but once in a while you’d see a flaming gopher come scrambling out. Grandpa’d smoosh them with a shovel. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/25 "2008-05-21T18:57:30Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Antifreeze. Just pour some in a bowl, not down the hole. It works for prairie dogs so I reckon it’ll do the same for other rodents. [/QUOTE] You could also end up killing someone’s pet this way, though. Traps especially for the gophers are the best bet - and unlikely to cause collateral damage. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/26 "2008-05-21T19:23:24Z")
Barrow someone acetylene tank and pump into the gopher hole wait a bit and ignite. You get a good thump and a little fire and the burrows should collapse. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/27 "2008-05-21T19:50:31Z")
[Try this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLQ70JJpa0M) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/28 "2008-05-21T21:15:16Z")
[QUOTE=Quartz] Could you not pipe your car’s exhaust down the hole? [/QUOTE] Not sure that’d work. Modern cars produce far fewer toxic emissions than they used to, and with the price of gas these days, you’d probably blow 40 bucks before you even approached lethal levels. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/29 "2008-05-21T23:13:18Z")
[QUOTE=GilaB] Apparently, and I would have thought we’d’ve saved it, Scylla’s epic ‘Evil Nazi Groundhogs’ thread (which predates my time here, but which is a true SDMB classic) has been purged from the archives. It is a sad, sad day, my friends. [/QUOTE] I was the first reply to that thread. I suggested cats, but everyone said I was thinking of gophers instead of groundhogs. What finally was the consensus was big dogs who liked to hunt them, a truck that vacuumed them out (I think that was real), or filling the holes with propane and blasting them. As for gophers, my dad had pretty good luck with buried traps, but once he had to get out a .22 at the right time of the morning. That finally worked on that one. As for the exhaust method, find someone with an old beater. That should work, I’m told. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2008, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/30 "2008-05-21T23:49:02Z")
**Warning** : DO NOT use Antifreeze, Gasoline, Acetylene or any other toxic material. Doing so WILL not only pollute your yard and make future gardening problematic, but if you are caught by the authorities, it may leave you subject to criminal charges and/or liable for a possible (and very expensive) EPA mandated cleanup. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/31 "2008-05-22T03:18:34Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] My grandfather, who could be rather…dramatic when dealing with lawn n’ garden pests, used to dump wood alchohol into all the entrances of their burrows he could locate. Then he’d give the fumes a chance to spread and light it all off. Mostly they died underground, but once in a while you’d see a flaming gopher come scrambling out. Grandpa’d smoosh them with a shovel. [/QUOTE] Good lord! As a child i would be mesmerized AND traumatized at the same time! ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/32 "2008-05-22T03:35:29Z")
[Hunting woodchucks](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dq2L2zfDQk) ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2008, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/33 "2008-05-22T13:10:45Z")
[QUOTE=Scumpup] I guess since you are a town dweller a firearm is out of the question. Is is against your local laws to discharge an airgun? Plenty of affordable airguns churn up enough oomph to dispatch the lowly gopher. My grandfather, who could be rather…dramatic when dealing with lawn n’ garden pests, used to dump wood alchohol into all the entrances of their burrows he could locate. Then he’d give the fumes a chance to spread and light it all off. Mostly they died underground, but once in a while you’d see a flaming gopher come scrambling out. Grandpa’d smoosh them with a shovel. [/QUOTE] It’s been a long time since I’ve seen so many potential band names in one post. ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2008, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/34 "2008-05-22T15:47:25Z")
[QUOTE=Cardinal] I was the first reply to that thread. I suggested cats, but everyone said I was thinking of gophers instead of groundhogs. What finally was the consensus was big dogs who liked to hunt them, a truck that vacuumed them out (I think that was real), or filling the holes with propane and blasting them. [/QUOTE] These are defenatly gophers. I found a dead one on my lawn yesterday. As for the cats, sadly I have two and they seem to not care for the task in the least. Lazy bums. I wish I had a .22 that I could use on them, but I don’t. Besides, I live across the street from a Sherriff, so shooting off firearms may not be a wise course of action. I will try the traps, I guess. Wish me luck. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2008, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/35 "2008-05-22T20:37:16Z")
Set up a music player a few feet from a gopher hole. Use the player to play the U. of Minnesota fight song, while you stand behind the hole with the weapon of your choice. As the gophers dash out to sing along, dispatch them with your machete, flail, pitchfork, 3-wood, or claw hammer. While the pitchfork is effective, you might miss the second gopher while removing the first writhing animal from a tine. Remember, each tine can kill and hold several gophers while you dispatch additional interlopers. Do not become sentimental at the lamentations of the dying varmints. They are not your friends. Think of the safety of your garden, and stab, stab, stab. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/36 "2008-05-22T21:09:36Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] Use the player to play the U. of Minnesota fight song, while you stand behind the hole with the weapon of your choice. [/QUOTE] This WILL NOT WORK during football season. well, I suppose they might choke. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/37 "2008-05-23T01:43:53Z")
[QUOTE=Shera] I wish I had a .22 that I could use on them, but I don’t. Besides, I live across the street from a Sherriff, so shooting off firearms may not be a wise course of action. [/QUOTE] Would using a sling-shot be legal? ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/38 "2008-05-23T05:26:04Z")
OK, here’s what works and what doesn’t: Doesn’t: - Flooding the holes with water. - Putting noxious gas down the holes or other substances. - .22 or .233 or whatever. The critters are **underground** , losers. Does: - Traps [in the burrows](http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-trap-a-gopher/). - [Poisoned gopher bait](http://www.amazon.com/Gopher-Getter-Type-Bait-GOPHER/dp/B000HRDGP2) put into a tunnel using a [gopher bait applicator](http://www.critterridders.com/cgi-bin/store/commerce.cgi?product=adaptergopherbait). Maybe: - Glass or other cutting substance tilled into soil. Doesn’t hurt, but you’ll never know if it worked. All else is folklore; you might as well cross yourself and spin three times to make the critters go away. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/39 "2008-05-23T07:02:18Z")
[QUOTE=Shera] These are defenatly gophers. I found a dead one on my lawn yesterday. As for the cats, sadly I have two and they seem to not care for the task in the least. Lazy bums. [/QUOTE] You are feeding your cats too much. Feed them about 1/2 what is necessary for them to survive and the gophers will be all gone. Never underestimate hunger as a motivating factor. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2008, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047/40 "2008-05-23T09:29:26Z")
[Charge licensing fees](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gopher_%28protocol%29) not long after the popularization of a [completely free alternative](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Wide_Web). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-effective-gopher-death/450047.md?page=3)