# The most horrific mangling of the English language my ears have ever heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071 "2011-11-15T23:56:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/1 "2011-11-15T23:56:56Z")
I may have posted this before, I’m not sure, but I feel the need to share it anew. I had an irate customer at work who had a complaint, and wished to inquire if I intended to act upon her complaint. So she said, “Is you or is you ain’t gonna do something about this?” Can you top that? mmm ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/2 "2011-11-16T00:15:54Z")
I was once going out for lunch with some coworkers, and we were deciding who would drive. One of them asked, “How far are yous’s guys’s cars?” When we all laughed, she corrected herself by asking, “How far are the cars of yous’s guys?” ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/3 "2011-11-16T00:20:22Z")
[Is you is, or is you 'aint my baby?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR-Ckj5M-jU) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/4 "2011-11-16T01:36:03Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > [Is you is, or is you 'aint my baby?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR-Ckj5M-jU) This is exactly what I thought of when I heard her (the version by Joe Jackson, though). mmm ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/5 "2011-11-16T01:49:08Z")
These people would have a ‘ruff’ time if they joined the dope. disclaimer: me aint’s perfect eider. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/6 "2011-11-16T02:04:21Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > This is exactly what I thought of when I heard her (the version by Joe Jackson, though). > mmm Louis Jordan, here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/7 "2011-11-16T02:10:30Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I was once going out for lunch with some coworkers, and we were deciding who would drive. One of them asked, “How far are yous’s guys’s cars?” When we all laughed, she corrected herself by asking, “How far are the cars of yous’s guys?” youse is a plural used by some ethic groups, y’all. i suppose that then is a possessive plural form. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/8 "2011-11-16T02:13:01Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I may have posted this before, I’m not sure, but I feel the need to share it anew. > > I had an irate customer at work who had a complaint, and wished to inquire if I intended to act upon her complaint. So she said, “Is you or is you ain’t gonna do something about this?” > > Can you top that? > mmm Is English this persons first language? ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/9 "2011-11-16T02:18:33Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Is English this persons first language? I hope so. It ain’t as funny if it ain’t isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/10 "2011-11-16T02:22:48Z")
> [@Mosier](#): > > [Is you is, or is you 'aint my baby?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR-Ckj5M-jU) Reminds me of a great line from _O Brother Where Art Thou?_: “Is you is, or is you ain’t my constitchancy!?” ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/11 "2011-11-16T02:29:09Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Reminds me of a great line from _O Brother Where Art Thou?_: “Is you is, or is you ain’t my constitchancy!?” There was a lot of music in that, including the guy who looked like [Robert Johnson.](http://www.americanbluesscene.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Robert-Johnson-292x300.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/12 "2011-11-16T02:34:07Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I may have posted this before, I’m not sure, but I feel the need to share it anew. > > I had an irate customer at work who had a complaint, and wished to inquire if I intended to act upon her complaint. So she said, “Is you or is you ain’t gonna do something about this?” > > Can you top that? > mmm I understand the question completely. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/13 "2011-11-16T02:34:40Z")
I heard an Irish woman in Dublin ask, in the cinema, “where do the manager be?” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/14 "2011-11-16T02:52:59Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Is English this persons first language? Yes. > [@Lukeinva](#): > > I understand the question completely. I never claimed that I did not understand it. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/15 "2011-11-16T03:45:37Z")
I sure is ain’t _not_ gonna fail to do nothin’. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/16 "2011-11-16T04:12:35Z")
The dash don’t be silent! ---
**Author:** ![Cryptic\_C62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Cryptic\_C62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cryptic_C62)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/17 "2011-11-16T04:23:28Z")
Jive ass fools don’t got no brains anyhow. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/18 "2011-11-16T11:55:16Z")
Al Haig once substituted “at this juncture of maturization” for “now”, and he was next in line for the presidency. Well, according to him. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/19 "2011-11-16T11:58:16Z")
I get stabby over “a friend of mine’s parents” - why not “my friend’s parents” or “the parents of my friend”?? And then there’s “your guys’s” as in “Can I take your guys’s drink order?” Has the language changed? Is “your” no longer acceptable as a plural? When I’m Queen of the World, I will call for immediate beheading of anyone who says “you guys” when a nice plural “you” will suffice. _grrrrrrrr_ ---
**Author:** ![Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/43a26b/32.png) [@Pine\_Fresh\_Scent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pine_Fresh_Scent)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/20 "2011-11-16T12:29:31Z")
I used to drive by a junk yard on my way to work that had a shrimp boat with the words “four seale” (for sale) spray painted on it in letters six feet high. I would spend a few minutes imagining the person behind those words. Oh, here’s the required link to “How is Babby Formed?” www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=2)