# The most horrific mangling of the English language my ears have ever heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071 "2011-11-15T23:56:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/21 "2011-11-16T13:27:33Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I may have posted this before, I’m not sure, but I feel the need to share it anew. > > I had an irate customer at work who had a complaint, and wished to inquire if I intended to act upon her complaint. So she said, “Is you or is you ain’t gonna do something about this?” > > Can you top that? Given that “is you or is you aint” is part of the title of a famous song (see upthread), is it possible she was deliberately, knowingly employing that reference for humorous effect? Was the rest of her inquiry friendly and in good grammar, or was it also riddled with non-standard usage? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/22 "2011-11-16T13:48:59Z")
I’m curious as to what geographic area you work in, Mr. Mustard. Where y’all from? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/23 "2011-11-16T15:17:04Z")
> [@Cryptic\_C62](#): > > Jive ass fools don’t got no brains anyhow. Golly! ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/24 "2011-11-16T15:22:45Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > youse is a plural used by some ethic groups, y’all. i suppose that then is a possessive plural form. Excuse me, did you say ‘yutes’? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/25 "2011-11-16T15:46:29Z")
When I worked in a movie theatre, we had a poster for Ghostbusters. “Yo, where Casper be playin’ at?” ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/26 "2011-11-16T16:01:13Z")
In a store, where a mother and daughter were trying on sunglasses, the mother delivered this opinion of the girl’s selection: “You ain’t get that shit! They ugly!” ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/27 "2011-11-16T16:09:25Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > I sure is ain’t _not_ gonna fail to do nothin’. I’m still parsing this…I don’t got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/28 "2011-11-16T16:12:57Z")
> [@Cryptic\_C62](#): > > Jive ass fools don’t got no brains anyhow. [obligatory _Airplane_ reference]“Oh, stewardess, I speak jive!”[/oar] ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/29 "2011-11-16T16:31:45Z")
Here in Atlanta, our leading local TV and radio stations are WSB. Their stringers and cameramen have an ongoing competetion to find the most ignorant, incoherent, and inarticulate witnesses to crimes and events to put on the evening news. Hilarity always ensues. A traditional [case in point](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SK6_Di_3O0) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/30 "2011-11-16T16:47:04Z")
I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/31 "2011-11-16T16:52:24Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > Here in Atlanta, our leading local TV and radio stations are WSB. > > Their stringers and cameramen have an ongoing competetion to find the most ignorant, incoherent, and inarticulate witnesses to crimes and events to put on the evening news. Hilarity always ensues. > > A traditional [case in point](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SK6_Di_3O0) …and the now-famous [Mobile leprechaun](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM7CL-Vyo1U). The “amateur sketch” is absolutely hysterical (and is followed by a single frame of the Unabomber’s famous sketch.) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/32 "2011-11-17T00:20:05Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I heard an Irish woman in Dublin ask, in the cinema, “where do the manager be?” I doubt any Dub would mangle the language so horribly… The correct form is ‘Where does the manager be?’ ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/33 "2011-11-17T00:58:06Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > I heard an Irish woman in Dublin ask, in the cinema, “where do the manager be?” If she was Welsh it would have been: “Where to is the manager?” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/34 "2011-11-17T01:00:08Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I get stabby over “a friend of mine’s parents” - why not “my friend’s parents” or “the parents of my friend”?? > > And then there’s “your guys’s” as in “Can I take your guys’s drink order?” Has the language changed? Is “your” no longer acceptable as a plural? When I’m Queen of the World, I will call for immediate beheading of anyone who says “you guys” when a nice plural “you” will suffice. _grrrrrrrr_ And how exactly do you distinguish between a plural “you” and a singular “you”, hmm? “Youse”, “y’all” and “you guys” are filling a niche in the language that has been empty since “thou” dropped out of common usage. So yes, the language _has_ changed; that’s how language works. When I am King of the World, I will call for all grammar Nazis to be rounded up and shot. Grrrrrr. “Is you is or is you ain’t” is a perfectly legal construction in Black English, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/35 "2011-11-17T01:05:01Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > “Is you is or is you ain’t” is a perfectly legal construction in Black English, by the way. “Bollocks” is just as legal. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/36 "2011-11-17T12:06:48Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > And how exactly do you distinguish between a plural “you” and a singular “you”, hmm? So waaaaaaaaaay back in the 60s when President Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country” he should actually have been saying _“Ask not what y’alls country can do for you guys, ask what youse can do for your guys’s country”_??? Yeah, I can see how much more eloquent that is… ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/37 "2011-11-17T12:44:34Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > So waaaaaaaaaay back in the 60s when President Kennedy said “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country” he should actually have been saying _“Ask not what y’alls country can do for you guys, ask what youse can do for your guys’s country”_??? Of course not - he was from Boston. He should, however, used the word “wicked” somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/38 "2011-11-17T12:56:30Z")
dang - now I feel silly. And I was in Boston as recently as a year ago - how could I have forgotten?? ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/39 "2011-11-17T13:33:57Z")
Was she haftin’ to be uproared? [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeXf2bGzBHc) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/40 "2011-11-17T17:29:12Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Of course not - he was from Boston. He should, however, used the word “wicked” somewhere. Not long ago I was watching a made-for-TV movie that was set in New England. A man was greeting the pitcher of the high school baseball team. He said – in a very SoCal accent – “Hi Mark! How’s your wicked arm?” I don’t think that the script writer quite got the idiom. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=3)