# The most horrific mangling of the English language my ears have ever heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071 "2011-11-15T23:56:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![svd678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@svd678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/svd678)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/61 "2011-11-17T23:47:31Z")
“Needs washed” has spread far from PA. Knew a fellow who said “you-uns;” he also regularly said “anymore” for “nowadays.” (would just “now” be better?) What gets me is, “if I would have gone yesterday” when they mean “If I had gone.” And “all of us aren’t going (but some are)” when they mean “not all of us.” ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/62 "2011-11-18T03:41:14Z")
> [@Dorabella](#): > > Try this for almost unintelligible English. This was posted today on a modding site for a game (the Sims 3). > > okies i just started a new game i got most of all of his mods except the career one as i want to learn how to make my careers okies i just got two sims in the hottub i have a house full of 8 sims 4 girls and 4 guys okies two got in the hottub and made out using the makeout thingy okies they got the romantic interest lit up now okies with this going on if they wanted to persue another relationship the other will get jealous and all my sims will have hearts on them now how can i undo this huggies and thankies for all replies Ugly, but not unintelligble. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/63 "2011-11-18T03:59:59Z")
Ok, I just started a new game. I got most of the mods except the career one as I want to learn how to do careers on my own. I just got 2 sims in the hot tub. I have a household of 8 sims; 4 girls and 4 guys. Two got in the hot tub and made out using the makeout thingy. They got the romantic interest lit up now. With this thing going on, if they pursue another relationship, the other gets jealous and all my sims will have hearts on them. How can I undo this, much thanks for any help. How did I do that? Magic? No, it’s just english. Really, it’s not even that bad. The poster used “okies” instead of “.” Some spelling issues and clunky sentences but it’s a post for an online messageboard for the sims no less, let’s have some perspective. It may have been posted by a younger person. The example in the OP was not a mangling and it wasn’t particularly horrific. It was not schoolroom English and would not be appropriate in a schoolroom but then again neither is fuck and I see no one here getting up in arms about casual usage of that word except for Zotti. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/64 "2011-11-18T11:03:57Z")
I’m quite firmly in the descriptivist camp. If your use of a collection of phonemes conveys a meaning to me, and that meaning was what you meant to convey, well congratulations, you just used a word, and spoke English, to boot. Language, as others have said, is subjective. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/65 "2011-11-18T12:01:24Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Along those lines, there’s a great local burrito shop whose t-shirt says (and I think I’m getting this right), “I don’t feel half as much like I did when I came in here as I do now.” I’ve tried and failed to parse it many times. The examples from AAVE and other dialects aren’t manglings of the language at all. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/66 "2011-11-18T12:27:48Z")
From the Tina Turner biopic from a few years ago – Ike Turner is in a courtroom. JUDGE: Counsel, instruct your client to remove his sunglasses. IKE [removing sunglasses]: Man, you ain’t gots to instruct me to do _nothin’_! My wife, a non-native English speaker, thought that was one of the most fascinating sentences she’d ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/67 "2011-11-18T14:12:17Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Along those lines, there’s a great local burrito shop whose t-shirt says (and I think I’m getting this right), “I don’t feel half as much like I did when I came in here as I do now.” I’ve tried and failed to parse it many times. I was about to explain how very simple this is to parse, but the more I look at it the curiouser and curiouser. I feel twice as good now as I did then? ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/68 "2011-11-18T15:50:12Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I don’t see anything wrong with “needs washing”, but I prefer “needs to be washed.” But I’ve never heard of “needs washed” until this year, and I can’t wrap my head around it. [We’ve fought about it before.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529330) > [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Along those lines, there’s a great local burrito shop whose t-shirt says (and I think I’m getting this right), “I don’t feel half as much like I did when I came in here as I do now.” I’ve tried and failed to parse it many times. “I currently feel less than halfway similar to the way I was earlier.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/69 "2011-11-18T15:56:24Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > [We’ve fought about it before.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=529330) I think that’s where I first heard about it. Question for people from southern PA/northern MD: How many syllables are in “on”? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/70 "2011-11-18T15:57:07Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > I also find it mildly annoying when people use “anymore” to mean “these days,” as in, “Gasoline is so expensive anymore.” I have yet to hear this in the wild–I’m only aware of it because of the SDMB. Is there a geographic area where it’s commonly used, like “needs washed” type constructions, or is it widespread? That would take me a little while to wrap my head around. As to the OP, I don’t think I would have noticed the “is you or is you ain’t” construction as being odd. “Anymore” as “these days,” though, would raise a flag. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/71 "2011-11-18T15:59:26Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I have yet to hear this in the wild–I’m only aware of it because of the SDMB. Is there a geographic area where it’s commonly used, like “needs washed” type constructions, or is it widespread? That would take me a little while to wrap my head around. I think that some of my midwest relatives used it. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/72 "2011-11-18T17:05:31Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > So she said, “Is you or is you ain’t gonna do something about this?” Actually I kind of like the ring of it.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/73 "2011-11-18T17:05:48Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I have yet to hear this in the wild–I’m only aware of it because of the SDMB. Is there a geographic area where it’s commonly used, like “needs washed” type constructions, or is it widespread? That would take me a little while to wrap my head around. > > As to the OP, I don’t think I would have noticed the “is you or is you ain’t” construction as being odd. “Anymore” as “these days,” though, would raise a flag. I"ve heard it (“anymore” in place of “these days”), and used it, in the South. It doesn’t seem like a regionalism to me. I’ve heard the “needs worshed” construction from relatives and friends in northern Kentucky and Indiana. Another one that seems to be spreading is “come with”, as in “I’m going to the store, wanna come with?” ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/74 "2011-11-18T17:07:53Z")
[Is you Is or Is You Ain’t My Baby?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is_You_Is_or_Is_You_Ain%27t_My_Baby) ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/75 "2011-11-18T17:24:31Z")
> [@ratatoskK](#): > > [Is you Is or Is You Ain’t My Baby?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is_You_Is_or_Is_You_Ain%27t_My_Baby) You might want to read page one of this thread. 😉 > [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > I"ve heard it (“anymore” in place of “these days”), and used it, in the South. It doesn’t seem like a regionalism to me. I’ve only heard “anymore” in the negative, like “Dave doesn’t live here anymore” but never “Dave lives here anymore.” [Dictionary.com](http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/anymore) suggests it is regional: > [@](#): > > In some dialects, chiefly South Midland in origin, it is found in positive statements meaning “nowadays”: Baker’s bread is all we eat anymore. Anymore we always take the bus. Its use at the beginning of a sentence is almost exclusive to speech or to representations of speech Actually, that first construction (“Baker’s bread is all we eat anymore”) is a construction I’m familiar with and use, but not the latter, nor the construction in **Elendil Heir** ’s example. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/76 "2011-11-18T19:11:23Z")
Here’s one I never heard until I moved to Atlanta several years ago: might could. As in “I might could stop at the store on the way home.” Also: “You might should finish the pie before it gets old,” and “He might would do it if you asked him.” Might could? Might should? Might would? WTF? The first time I heard it my brain sort of twisted up and it took me a few seconds to realize the meaning behind the words. Now I know what is meant, but it still sounds very, very strange to me. And very wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/77 "2011-11-18T19:46:08Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I am too. I still can’t shake the feeling that if they get worshed, they come out cleaner. It’s true! This is the one bit of accent I’ve held onto since moving to California (despite getting teased for saying Worshington…) ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/78 "2011-11-18T19:56:54Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Here’s one I never heard until I moved to Atlanta several years ago: might could. As in “I might could stop at the store on the way home.” Also: “You might should finish the pie before it gets old,” and “He might would do it if you asked him.” > > Might could? Might should? Might would? WTF? The first time I heard it my brain sort of twisted up and it took me a few seconds to realize the meaning behind the words. Now I know what is meant, but it still sounds very, very strange to me. And very wrong. Might could/should/would = maybe. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/79 "2011-11-18T19:57:42Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Might could? Might should? Might would? WTF? The first time I heard it my brain sort of twisted up and it took me a few seconds to realize the meaning behind the words. Now I know what is meant, but it still sounds very, very strange to me. And very wrong. It’s how Shane spoke to Jack Palance. 🙂 Hey, I’ve been to Boston. You guys talk funny, too! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/80 "2011-11-18T20:00:02Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Hey, I’ve been to Boston. You guys talk funny, too! 🙂 I’m not from here. I only moved here 2 years ago, so I have no Boston regionalisms in my speech. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=5)