# The most horrific mangling of the English language my ears have ever heard **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071 "2011-11-15T23:56:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Prelude\_to\_Fascination](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prelude_to_Fascination)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/81 "2011-11-18T20:01:07Z")
More and more, I’m hearing people pronounce “accessory” as “assessory”. Just to make sure I didn’t miss something, I went to [dictionary.com](http://dictionary.com) and clicked on the pronunciation link > **[Accessory Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com](https://www.dictionary.com/browse/accessory)** > > Accessory definition, a subordinate or supplementary part, object, or the like, used mainly for convenience, attractiveness, safety, etc., as a spotlight on an automobile or a lens cover on a camera. See more. and nothing’s changed. It’s still pronounced the same way it’s always been according to that site. My respect for the human race, at least as it pertains to those who say “assessory” just diminished a little more. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/82 "2011-11-18T20:03:12Z")
Don’t axe me why some people talk funny. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/83 "2011-11-18T20:04:22Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > In a store, where a mother and daughter were trying on sunglasses, the mother delivered this opinion of the girl’s selection: > > “You ain’t get that shit! They ugly!” I grit my teeth when I hear black college students talk this way on the bus. I KNOW they don’t talk that way in the classroom. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/84 "2011-11-18T20:05:23Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I’m not from here. I only moved here 2 years ago, so I have no Boston regionalisms in my speech. Y’all have my apologies, Sir. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/85 "2011-11-18T20:17:01Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I’m not from here. I only moved here 2 years ago, so I have no Boston regionalisms in my speech. Me neither, though I’ve been here for 31 years. In my world, nothing is “wicked.” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/86 "2011-11-18T20:51:16Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > “I currently feel less than halfway similar to the way I was earlier.” Nope :). Consider: I don’t feel [half as much [like I did [when I came in here]]] as I do now The brackets are modifiers: “half as much” modifies how I feel, and “like I did” modifies “as much” and “when I came in here” modifies “did.” So you can take those modifiers out for the basic comparison: “I don’t feel half as much…as I do now.” So the comparison is from how I feel (present tense) to how I am now, and it’s saying I feel less now than I do now. It’s a self-contradiction, but it’s buried under so many modifiers that the contradiction is hard to see. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/87 "2011-11-18T21:03:55Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I have yet to hear this [“anymore” instead of “nowadays”] in the wild–I’m only aware of it because of the SDMB. Is there a geographic area where it’s commonly used, like “needs washed” type constructions, or is it widespread? That would take me a little while to wrap my head around… The guy I hear it from most was born and raised in SE Ohio, and now lives in Georgia. I’m pretty sure he used the phrase before he moved south, though. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/88 "2011-11-18T21:10:48Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I think that some of my midwest relatives used it. I hear it in the South all the time. It’s horrid. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/89 "2011-11-18T21:28:30Z")
Just out of curiosity, because I mistakenly said that I never use “anymore” in the positive, but realized from the dictionary examples that I do use it at least in one type of construction. For those of you for whom “Gasoline is so expensive anymore” sounds awkward, does “Pizza is all I eat anymore” sound weird, too? I find the first construction weird, but not the second, so I’m wondering if this is usual, or some dialectical quirk of mine. ---
**Author:** ![Jaxnative1210](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@Jaxnative1210](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaxnative1210)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/90 "2011-11-18T21:40:41Z")
ok…how does one go about this. How do you cut lights on and off? And fixinta. As in, “I am fixinta make us some supper.” I have also heard everwhat, instead of whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/91 "2011-11-18T21:44:58Z")
[This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=t5xyxVR6NFk) one from _The Soup_ just blew me away. I can’t believe this guy is paid to be on TV. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/92 "2011-11-18T21:59:56Z")
> [@Jaxnative1210](#): > > How do you cut lights on and off? You cut off the voltage to the light? ---
**Author:** ![Jaxnative1210](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@Jaxnative1210](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaxnative1210)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/93 "2011-11-18T22:05:28Z")
ok i can buy the cutting them off, but cutting the lights on??? ---
**Author:** ![all1966](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@all1966](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/all1966)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/94 "2011-11-18T22:23:03Z")
Wouldn’t some of these examples be colloquialisms? [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colloquialism](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colloquialism) ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/95 "2011-11-18T22:40:07Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > Here’s one I never heard until I moved to Atlanta several years ago: might could. As in “I might could stop at the store on the way home.” Also: “You might should finish the pie before it gets old,” and “He might would do it if you asked him.” > > Might could? Might should? Might would? WTF? The first time I heard it my brain sort of twisted up and it took me a few seconds to realize the meaning behind the words. Now I know what is meant, but it still sounds very, very strange to me. And very wrong. You’ll find that mentioned in any book or article about Southern dialect. It’s called the “double modal” construction, and is a long-standing feature of Southern/Texas speech. “Might could” is speculative - you’re mentioning a possiblity without committing to it. “Should ought to” is another: “We should oughta go to Delmore and Tanya’s weddin’; they are your cousins.” > [@a35362](#): > > I grit my teeth when I hear black college students talk this way on the bus. I KNOW they don’t talk that way in the classroom. Of course not, that’s a different social context that calls for a different linguistic register. Black English is more informal, as befits conversations among friends. Going back and forth between different registers is called “code switching”, and most people do it. Would you talk to your friends while hanging out in a bar the same way you’d speak to a professor or give a lecture? Probably not. > [@Jaxnative1210](#): > > ok…how does one go about this. How do you cut lights on and off? And fixinta. As in, “I am fixinta make us some supper.” I have also heard everwhat, instead of whatever. Sheeyit, son, that’s easy. Yuh cut the laights own and off with th’ switch, o’ course! Boy mus’ be dumber’n a box uh rocks, not to know that… ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/96 "2011-11-18T23:23:47Z")
> [@YoSaffBridge](#): > > No, no, no. The correct form is “Where the manager be at?” > 😉 In the interests of cultural compromise, I’m willing to go with ‘Where does the manager be at?’ I really like ‘might could’ and ‘might should’. I’ve never actually heard them, just read them, but I think they express something that doesn’t quite get caught any other way. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2011, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/97 "2011-11-18T23:57:02Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Just out of curiosity, because I mistakenly said that I never use “anymore” in the positive, but realized from the dictionary examples that I do use it at least in one type of construction. For those of you for whom “Gasoline is so expensive anymore” sounds awkward, does “Pizza is all I eat anymore” sound weird, too? I find the first construction weird, but not the second, so I’m wondering if this is usual, or some dialectical quirk of mine. My feelings mirror yours. Pizza is all I eat anymore could be restated, “I eat nothing but pizza anymore,” which is an unremarkable sentence. So I’m gonna hypothesize, since I can’t find a languagelog post that details positive anymores, that for at least the two of us, we need the verb to be restricted by all? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/98 "2011-11-21T14:14:31Z")
> [@Jaxnative1210](#): > > ok i can buy the cutting them off, but cutting the lights on??? We run into a misconception of the public’s understanding of things electrical. A break in an electrical connection is incorrectly referred to as a “short” when it is the opposite; a break or “long” in the circuit. “Cutting” on or off should be “switching”. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/99 "2011-11-21T14:25:53Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Y’all have my apologies, Sir. 🙂 :mad: Y’all. Is. Not. SINGULAR. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2011, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071/100 "2011-11-21T14:30:27Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > :mad: Y’all. Is. Not. SINGULAR. There is a West Texas dialect that uses it as a plural. Consider this brief reenactment: A cop in East Texas stops a car full of College students. He examines the driver and say, “Y’all been drinkin’.” He looks at the passengers. “All y’all been drinkin’.” 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-mangling-of-the-english-language-my-ears-have-ever-heard/603071.md?page=6)