# The most horrific slash you can imagine. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 31, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054 "2003-07-31T03:22:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/1 "2003-07-31T03:22:48Z")
This is probably a bit too pointless for CS. Anyway, what’s the most horrible type of slash fiction that you can imagine? It doesn’t have to actually exist, although bonus points if it does. I’ll kick off the list with the triple-whammy of Gandalf/Balrog slash, Grave of the Fireflies (Yes, it’s what you’re thinking. Yes, it exists. No, I’m not linking.)I couldn’t find it again.), and offered by my girlfriend, Lovecraft slash. ---
**Author:** ![Tradnor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@Tradnor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tradnor)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/2 "2003-07-31T03:41:50Z")
Rugrats? (Yes, it exists.) ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/3 "2003-07-31T04:25:50Z")
Jack Chick slash. “Bob…” “Damien…” “Oh, Bob…” “Oh, Damien…” _woof_ “Oh, Fang…” ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/4 "2003-07-31T04:28:20Z")
What’s slash? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/5 "2003-07-31T04:33:23Z")
Slash is fan fiction of an, ahem, peculiar type. It portrays same sex relationships between characters originally portrayed as heterosexual. You know, Kirk/Spock, or Ashley/Rhett, or Sam/Frodo. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/6 "2003-07-31T04:49:49Z")
Learn something new every day, I guess. Whats fan-fic that portrays hetero sex between charatcers called? Something of the Dumbledoor/McGonagal variety? ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/7 "2003-07-31T04:50:07Z")
(Hope nobody thinks I’m dissing slash here? I don’t read it much but even I’ve had some fun with it, and I write het smut myself) Well I saw a Harry Potter NC-17 fanfic labeled SS/HG/AD/MM (I’ll leave you to fill in the initials yourself) Het and slash for you right there! I also saw a Pokemon doujinshi (fan comic) involving basically the entire male cast plus Jessie and Pikachu. Also Hamtaro slash. On the other hand my honest reaction all of that is basically “Heh, whatever, I don’t have to look at it”. Well, OK my honest reaction to the last one is “They’re freaking hamsters!!” but then I transfer into “and I don’t have to read it” ---
**Author:** ![Rock-n-Rolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/22d042/32.png) [@Rock-n-Rolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rock-n-Rolga)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/8 "2003-07-31T05:09:48Z")
Bon Jovi, Guns-n-Roses and Metallica slash. Sometimes with crossover between the three bands. Yes, it’s real. No, I don’t write it. I must be the only het smut Rock fanfic reader on earth. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/9 "2003-07-31T06:06:27Z")
I don’t read slash–as a straight male, I don’t quite fit the demographic for most of it—but I did see a reference in the Pit the other day that seared itself into my memory: Harry Potter/giant squid slash. As I pointed out in that thread, giant squid have large, serrated bony rings on their suckers. They also have big, sharp beaks. Leaving aside the innate twistedness of the concept, I can’t imagine Harry surviving the experience without, at the least, physical scars to match the mental ones. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/10 "2003-07-31T06:17:20Z")
Faith/Joyce. “Oh great, now I have to **wash** my **brain**! Thanks ALOT!” ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/11 "2003-07-31T06:28:03Z")
Teletubbies? I didn’t find any _specifically_ for them, but there was some crossover. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/12 "2003-07-31T06:31:52Z")
Gingersnaps/Lassie? [sub]If it exists, I don’t wanna know. Really.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/13 "2003-07-31T07:31:00Z")
Bush/Blair ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/14 "2003-07-31T07:32:10Z")
Saddam/Osama ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/15 "2003-07-31T07:44:00Z")
Saddam/de Villipin ---
**Author:** ![TeaRoses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@TeaRoses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaRoses)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 10:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/16 "2003-07-31T10:57:15Z")
> [@](#): > > Saddam/Osama I saw their affair revealed on the cover of the Weekly World News. I really, really should have bought that issue. > [@](#): > > Whats fan-fic that portrays hetero sex between charatcers called? Something of the Dumbledoor/McGonagal variety? Pending an expert opinion I suggest lemon or possibly het, or just good old smut. And while I think they’re a cute couple the idea of explicit smut with them in it seems right now like a good contribution to a “worst heterosexual fic” thread. But maybe that’s the mood I’m in. ---
**Author:** ![brainfizz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/da6949/32.png) [@brainfizz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainfizz)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/17 "2003-07-31T11:22:25Z")
Coldfire/Unclebeer? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/18 "2003-07-31T11:37:37Z")
I thought this was going to be a thread about painful urination. ---
**Author:** ![Nichol\_storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Nichol\_storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nichol_storm)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/19 "2003-07-31T12:02:57Z")
[Ficbitches](http://www.livejournal.com/~ficbitches/) reviews some horrible fanfiction in general, but some of the slash is so bad you can only hope its intentional. A horrible Street Fighter story. _Ken got a back-alley sexchange courtesy of Shadaloo, probably, and Ryu’s masculinity is in question as well_. An awful Sailor Moon story. _(“Raye” and “Serena” go to a Tori Amos concert. And uh…discover they’re in love.)_ A terrible LOTR story. _I can slaughter orcs with toothpicks, but I need your cock to make me whole!_ That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Hilarious site, btw, well worth the time for any fanficcer to check out. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054/20 "2003-07-31T12:17:19Z")
Simon and Simon slash. I have never dared read it. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-horrific-slash-you-can-imagine/192054.md?page=2)