# The Most Maudlin Song Award goes to... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 3, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935 "2013-03-03T19:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/1 "2013-03-03T19:19:00Z")
I nominate [_Teddy Bear_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bi_kRv0dOk) by Red Sovine. ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/2 "2013-03-03T19:21:04Z")
“Asleep” or “back to the old house” by the Smiths. or numerous others ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/3 "2013-03-03T19:21:46Z")
> [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > or numerous others There Can Be Only One. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/4 "2013-03-03T19:22:34Z")
Drag queen standard [I’ve Never Been to Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhQWND9jKDA) would probably place, especially the spoken part. If religious glurge counts, then it’s a battle royale that would make Game of Thrones pale, but [Dear Mr. Jesus](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGhwz0VZR8U) would definitely be a contender for the first half season. (It’s the only song that’s ever made me want to beat a child.) ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/5 "2013-03-03T19:38:27Z")
“Soliloquy” by Rogers and Hammerstein from **Carousel**. Leave no cliche unused. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/6 "2013-03-03T20:03:08Z")
Seasons in the Sun God I hate this song. Especially the French song by Jacques Brel is not maudlin at all. yes it is about a man’s upcoming death, but it sure as hell isn’t maudlin. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/7 "2013-03-03T20:03:56Z")
[Honey](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59BZxgohr9g) by Bobby Goldsboro. \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/8 "2013-03-03T20:05:19Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Drag queen standard [I’ve Never Been to Me](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhQWND9jKDA) would probably place, especially the spoken part. Oh my frickin’ god, I’ve heard of that song, but until now, I never heard it. What a putrid message. “I’ve had adventures around the world, and I’ve made love to rich exciting guys. But all of that is nothing, because no woman is complete without a hubby and a baby.” Excuse me while I throw up. All I can say is I’ve been no further than Germany, and I’ve certainly haven’t got any adventures worth mentioning. But I’m childfree, and I’m damn glad of it. Anyhow, this is a tough choice to pick out a single most maudlin song. Bobby Goldsboro’s _Honey_ is usually at the top of a lot of lists. In fact, Wikipedia mentions a theory that in the song, Honey commits suicide because her husband is so emotionally abusive. He calls her “kinda dumb and kinda smart” and laughs when she slips and falls, and pretends to be angry with her as a sort of lover’s game. But I gotta admit my dirty secret. I actually kinda like _Honey_. “Oh, the shame of it!” (puts paper bag over head like Sylvester Jr.) So instead, how 'bout _Run Joey Run_ where Daddy blows away his own daughter with a shotgun while aiming at the daughter’s boyfriend? What great lyrics: “Daddy, please don’t…It wasn’t his fault…we’re gonna get…mar…ried…” ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/9 "2013-03-03T20:05:41Z")
For good old fashioned “can’t pay the mortgage? Then surrender your virtue to my loathsome clutches, wretched girl!” maudlin: [Hearts and Flowers](http://youtu.be/xnXOr8GvKcQ) ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/10 "2013-03-03T20:22:57Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > In fact, Wikipedia mentions a theory that in the song, Honey commits suicide because her husband is so emotionally abusive. I’ve always said that people misinterpret the line “the Angels came” as meaning that Honey died. She was actually just traded to Anaheim. I’ll toss in Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the Cradle.” ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/11 "2013-03-03T20:24:04Z")
Mac Davis, _Whoever Finds This, I Love You_ ---
**Author:** ![Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/face_intentionally_left_blank/32/288_2.png) [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/12 "2013-03-03T20:57:35Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > But I gotta admit my dirty secret. I actually kinda like _Honey_. “Oh, the shame of it!” (puts paper bag over head like Sylvester Jr.) I feel the need here to pause, just for a moment, to recognize this act of internet bravery. Knowing what a saccarine-sweet glurgefest this song is, and still admitting your attachment to it, well, it inspires me. To point. And laugh. Mostly laugh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/13 "2013-03-03T21:07:53Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > … > > I’ll toss in Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the Cradle.” That’s the first one I thought of. ---
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/14 "2013-03-03T21:13:13Z")
[_Siliva’s Mother_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPrixYOTNHw) by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/15 "2013-03-03T21:21:51Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > [Honey](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59BZxgohr9g) by Bobby Goldsboro. > > \<\\> That guy may just be the single weirdest looking guy I have ever laid eyes upon. Is that his hair or a helmet he’s got on his head? My nominees: [All By Myself](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3j_fdSpkmE) Making Love Out of Nothing At All by Air Supply [Total Eclipse of the Heart](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOxhH8N3Bo) (also winner in the category of Most Over the Top 80s-est of 1980s Music Videos) It hasn’t escaped my notice that all three of these songs has basically the same piano opening: staccato hammering away at the same note or notes. Is there any sight like “TV Tropes” for pop music clches? This would certainly belong to it - the slow hammering away at one or two piano notes to denote Big! Melodrama! Song!!! ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/16 "2013-03-03T21:31:20Z")
[Sometimes When We Touch](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IATz8ZVTALo) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/17 "2013-03-03T21:32:50Z")
Since the OP has already crossed the line by nominating a “song” with no singing: [Jimmy Dean. IOU](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayUJy3fHcYM) Thread over. ---
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/18 "2013-03-03T21:44:28Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > That guy may just be the single weirdest looking guy I have ever laid eyes upon. Is that his hair or a helmet he’s got on his head? > > My nominees: > > [All By Myself](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3j_fdSpkmE) > > Making Love Out of Nothing At All by Air Supply > > [Total Eclipse of the Heart](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcOxhH8N3Bo) (also winner in the category of Most Over the Top 80s-est of 1980s Music Videos) > > It hasn’t escaped my notice that all three of these songs has basically the same piano opening: staccato hammering away at the same note or notes. Is there any sight like “TV Tropes” for pop music clches? This would certainly belong to it - the slow hammering away at one or two piano notes to denote Big! Melodrama! Song!!! _All By Myself_ stole its melody from Rachmaninoff. ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/19 "2013-03-03T22:02:08Z")
I can’t believe no one has yet mentioned _Gloomy Sunday_, a song supposedly so depressing, people have killed themselves after listening to it. Including its author. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2013, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/20 "2013-03-03T22:29:48Z")
[The Bed–Lou Reed](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsxhM2g1JRg) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935.md?page=2)