# The Most Maudlin Song Award goes to... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 3, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935 "2013-03-03T19:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Quercus\_alba](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quercus_alba/32/4061_2.png) [@Quercus\_alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus_alba)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/81 "2013-03-10T01:56:50Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > “Watching Scotty Grow,” Mac Davis (or Bobby Goldsboro).. You are dead to me. > [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](#): > > … > Watching Scottie Grow- Bobby Goldsboro > … You too. I’d totally forgotten it. 35+ years since my mother brought that single home. 30+ years since it was ever mentioned in my presence. And now I must re-live the hell, merely because I happen to have an unfortunate given name. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/82 "2013-03-10T02:16:25Z")
_Ebony Eyes_ by the Everley Brothers. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/83 "2013-03-10T02:46:23Z")
> [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](#): > > Happiest Girl In The Whole USA - Donna Fargo O deer ghod. We were on a cross-country trip the summer that song was big, and all we could get on the car radio were the powerful AM stations, which were usually country. So every forty miles or so we’d tune up another station, and there it was again. And again. And again. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/84 "2013-03-10T06:24:52Z")
**A Long December** **Till the Heart Caves in** [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/zrN6xb9AgvE/hqdefault.jpg "Till The Heart Caves In") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrN6xb9AgvE) ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/85 "2013-03-10T06:47:31Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > [Honey](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59BZxgohr9g) by Bobby Goldsboro. > > \<\\> Seconded. Winner and champeen, bar none. The bitch of it is that my wife is exactly like the woman depicted in the song. ---
**Author:** ![C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C.Montgomery_Burns)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/86 "2013-03-10T18:46:38Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > O deer ghod. > > We were on a cross-country trip the summer that song was big, and all we could get on the car radio were the powerful AM stations, which were usually country. So every forty miles or so we’d tune up another station, and there it was again. And again. And again. And her only other song that anyone can name, “Funny Face”, was just as bad. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/87 "2013-03-10T20:20:58Z")
> [@C.Montgomery\_Burns](#): > > And her only other song that anyone can name, “Funny Face”, was just as bad. I can still hear her slur those S’s… “I’m the hap-ee-esht gurl, in the whollllle You Esh Ay.” ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/88 "2013-03-10T20:49:16Z")
> [@NitroPress](#): > > O deer ghod. > > We were on a cross-country trip the summer that song was big, and all we could get on the car radio were the powerful AM stations, which were usually country. So every forty miles or so we’d tune up another station, and there it was again. And again. And again. That was the summer of 1972 wasn’t it? I know because the same thing happened to me that year (cross-country road trip, nothing but AM country stations on the radio, encountering the same song nearly every hour as you came into another station’s broadcast zone). Anyway, most the songs I was going to suggest have already been mentioned. However, I must add Diana Ross’ and Lionel Ritchies’ “Endless Love”. I feel like I’m drowning in molasses whenever I hear that. ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2013, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/89 "2013-03-10T21:34:50Z")
No votes for Mike Douglas and["The Men in my Little Girl’s Life?"](http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/t/themeninmylittlegirlslife.shtml) I always thought it needed a verse, “There’s a boy outside … his name is Chuck …” ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2013, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/90 "2013-03-11T15:11:18Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > I’m conflicted about this one. I can’t deny it’s maudlin & schmaltzy, but it still gets to even a cynical bastard like. Give it a listen and let me know what you think: > > [“Once Upon A Time,” with Ray Bolver and Eileen Herlie](http://youtu.be/Zv1Q-qb4Ipo) I feel the same way. I think it’s partly because I remember it from my childhood when I was all innocent. But also music can be very sentimental and yet still well done, and I think this is an example of that. Sort of in the same ballpark as “Sunrise, Sunset” from _Fiddler on the Roof_. ---
**Author:** ![sidhechaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sidhechaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidhechaos)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/91 "2013-03-12T03:38:03Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > So instead, how 'bout _Run Joey Run_ where Daddy blows away his own daughter with a shotgun while aiming at the daughter’s boyfriend? What great lyrics: “Daddy, please don’t…It wasn’t his fault…we’re gonna get…mar…ried…” oh christ covered in crackers yes, that and wildfire and alot of 70’s stuff ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/92 "2013-03-12T03:44:57Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > My pick, though Most Maudlin Christmas Song is the loathesome “Christmas Shoes”. I came here to post that. That song makes me cry and shake in rage. I hate it. Literally hate it. No hyperbole intended. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/93 "2013-03-12T04:02:39Z")
Meatloaf–Anything for Love [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPko-aXvJM) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/94 "2013-03-12T04:11:22Z")
Teen Angel? Ha! I give you [Tell Laura I love her.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2sP5rG47kw) ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/95 "2013-03-12T08:24:49Z")
> [@Quercus\_alba](#): > > You are dead to me. > > You too. > > I’d totally forgotten it. 35+ years since my mother brought that single home. > 30+ years since it was ever mentioned in my presence. > And now I must re-live the hell, merely because I happen to have an unfortunate given name. :smack: Yeah, I remember that horror. It was a favorite of my BRLFQ… ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/96 "2013-03-12T13:23:51Z")
> [@pohjonen](#): > > I always thought it needed a verse, “There’s a boy outside … his name is Chuck …” Last name Sneed. ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/97 "2013-03-12T15:50:56Z")
Olivia Neutron Bomb - I Honestly Love You ---
**Author:** ![Neo-Calredic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/96bed5/32.png) [@Neo-Calredic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neo-Calredic)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/98 "2013-03-12T16:34:16Z")
> [@Face\_Intentionally\_Left\_Blank](#): > > “Christmas Shoes” should be the Godwin’s law of bad/maudlin music. > > “As an online discussion of bad songs grows longer, the probability mentioning ‘Christmas Shoes’ approaches 1.” Holy shit. I had never heard this song until just now, and… wow. Was this song made as part of a DARPA program to create a weapon that would induce uncontrollable retching in an enemy? ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/99 "2013-03-12T17:41:28Z")
> [@Slypork](#): > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsOA-5H\_L2g](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsOA-5H_L2g) **Killkelly, Ireland**. My son listened to this song and said,“Jesus Christ! This would make goth kids kill themselves!” Do not listen to this if you haven’t talked to your folks in a while. I came in here to mention this one. When I was in high school, I was playing this song in my bedroom and when it was over, I heard my mother weeping in the kitchen downstairs. Whenever it comes up on my playlist, it reminds me to give her a call (if the subject matter wouldn’t, anyways.) ---
**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935/100 "2013-03-12T17:51:32Z")
Seems like there’s room in here for Tom Waits. Although “The Piano Has Been Drinking” is a little too ridiculous to feel maudlin, the character singing it certainly is maudlin. How about “Tom Traubert’s Blues,” “Kentucky Avenue,” or “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-maudlin-song-award-goes-to/651935.md?page=6)