# The Most Metal Deaths in Middle Earth **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 30, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873 "2015-06-30T15:56:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/21 "2015-07-01T21:45:52Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > #2 Crying isn’t metal, unless they’re because you killed an enemy and just realized that he was the last one and there are no more enemies to kill. Black Sabbath would beg to disagree, with [The Devil Cried.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwbNUnl5nqA) \m/ \>\_\< \m/ ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/22 "2015-07-01T22:53:01Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Untrue. That’s how it’s depicted in the films, but Sauron was thrown down by Elendil and Gil-Galad, though they perished in the process. Isildur stepped in and cut the ring and finger from Sauron’s hand as he lay defeated. Stealing a dying guy’s jewelry isn’t metal at all. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/23 "2015-07-01T22:57:25Z")
And Isildur didn’t even die stealing the jewelry, so it totally doesn’t count. Isildur’s actual death is so non-metal it’s not funny. He put on his ring of invisibility and runs away like a bitch, but gets killed anyway when the orcs see him splashing. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2015, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/24 "2015-07-01T23:58:41Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > And Isildur didn’t even die stealing the jewelry, so it totally doesn’t count. Isildur’s actual death is so non-metal it’s not funny. He put on his ring of invisibility and runs away like a bitch, but gets killed anyway when the orcs see him splashing. I think that may have been the ring’s way of telling him to sack up, which makes Isildur the only person in Middle-Earth to be out-metalled by an inanimate object. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/25 "2015-07-02T00:40:48Z")
But it was at least a metal inanimate object. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/26 "2015-07-02T04:28:37Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > In fact there is a song about the dead of Fingolfin, Blind Guardian’s "Time stands still (at the Iron Hill)', Is good but some of the lyrics don’t make sense (I don’t remember any mentions of Angband as “Iron Hill” in The Silmarilion). I think it might be a lost in translation thing (Blind Guardian is a German band, as I’m sure you know), or possibly the book they had had a misprint in it. The name Angband has been translated by Tolkien as “Iron Prison” or “Hell of Iron”. Hell, hill, what’s the difference ? 🙂 Also, the fortress stood in the Iron Mountains - again there’s the possibility of a translation issue there (from English to German, and then from German back into English by the BG lyricist) Or maybe it just rhymes that way, how 'bout that ? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2015, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/27 "2015-07-02T17:23:14Z")
My favorite line is in the Gollum opener: “That’s metal, but ranks last on this list because anyone in our own mundane world with teeth, lava, a deathwish, and a finger could go out the same way.” The comments and discussions on the site are hilarious also 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/28 "2015-08-07T20:37:50Z")
Good stuff. I love this thread! ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/29 "2015-08-07T21:19:13Z")
The best part about Fingolfin’s fight with Morgoth was that Morgoth only came out to fight because Fingolfin was outside talking so much shit he was afraid to look like a bitch in front of his underlings. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2015, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/30 "2015-08-07T21:54:09Z")
Yeah, shaming Satan in front of his mooks to come out and fight is pretty metal. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/31 "2015-08-08T00:11:48Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > My favorite line is in the Gollum opener: > > “That’s metal, but ranks last on this list because anyone in our own mundane world with teeth, lava, a deathwish, and a finger could go out the same way.” > > The comments and discussions on the site are hilarious also 😃 > [@](#): > > Look, I read my postmodern, grimdark, chainmail-and-cusses fantasy. I know my Abercrombie from my Abraham, my Martin from my Mieville. I’m all about feudal overlords dying of tetanus in the muck, while brooding warrior women with disfiguring scars snark at their corpses and pox-ridden mercenaries go through their pockets for loose change. I even read most of a Gene Wolfe book once. What I’m saying is, I am not unfamiliar with metal-as-shit fantasy deaths. > > But sometimes, you need to step back, recalibrate, and bow down to the king in his tweed coat. None more metal. Love it. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/32 "2015-08-08T09:10:14Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Yeah, shaming Satan in front of his mooks to come out and fight is pretty metal. Fingolfin must have talked some pretty epic smack when you figure that Morgoth had no answer but to lose it and haul off with the first punch. ---
**Author:** ![Hiker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3be4f8/32.png) [@Hiker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hiker)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2015, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/33 "2015-08-08T09:53:47Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Yeah, shaming Satan in front of his mooks to come out and fight is pretty metal. Thrash talking Satan may be somewhat metal. What’s \*really \*metal is to scare him so much that you actually \*have \*to thrash talk him in order to make him face you in battle. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/34 "2015-08-31T17:36:16Z")
I always felt that Eowyn’s combat with the Lord of the Nazgul was way more metal than Luthien’s heroics. Yes, there was a leetle bit of a love-lorn suicidal (emo) component to Eowyn’s feat, but she ironically fulfilled a prophecy while taking out the Big Bad’s #1 agent while he was riding a _ **winged dinosaur** _! (Actually, probably a pterosaur, but those are extremely metal, too.) Luthien was a pretty elf-girl who ran away from home and battled evil \*\*\*by singing \*\*\*with the help of her (admittedly metal) talking dog. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/35 "2015-08-31T18:16:13Z")
> [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](#): > > I always felt that Eowyn’s combat with the Lord of the Nazgul was way more metal than Luthien’s heroics. Yes, there was a leetle bit of a love-lorn suicidal (emo) component to Eowyn’s feat, but she ironically fulfilled a prophecy while taking out the Big Bad’s #1 agent while he was riding a _ **winged dinosaur** _! (Actually, probably a pterosaur, but those are extremely metal, too.) Luthien was a pretty elf-girl who ran away from home and battled evil \*\*\*by singing \*\*\*with the help of her (admittedly metal) talking dog. I don’t disagree entirely, but part of what makes a death metal is how much grandstanding and pyrotechnics happen while you do it. Eowyn was disguised at the time and not drawing a lot of attention to herself. Had she whipped off the helmet and made a speech before the fight, she’d probably have scored extra points. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/36 "2015-08-31T19:20:35Z")
Rohirrim are basically pre-Norman Anglo-Saxons, who were the second most metal people on earth after Vikings. ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ac8455/32.png) [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Great_Darsh_Face)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/37 "2015-08-31T19:53:37Z")
> [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](#): > > I always felt that Eowyn’s combat with the Lord of the Nazgul was way more metal than Luthien’s heroics. Yes, there was a leetle bit of a love-lorn suicidal (emo) component to Eowyn’s feat, but she ironically fulfilled a prophecy while taking out the Big Bad’s #1 agent while he was riding a _ **winged dinosaur** _! (Actually, probably a pterosaur, but those are extremely metal, too.) Luthien was a pretty elf-girl who ran away from home and battled evil \*\*\*by singing \*\*\*with the help of her (admittedly metal) talking dog. Although Eowyn started out proceedings by decapitating the Fell Beast that the WK was riding, she loses metal points for needing the help of a hairy-footed peasant who crept up and stabbed the bad guy while he wasn’t looking. Honours were about even in the trash-talking round, I think, because although Eowyn led off with some fairly metal name-calling (“foul dwimmerlaik” is pretty darn creative) the WK came back with some classy threats of his own. The whole scene would play pretty well with some power chords, though. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/38 "2015-08-31T19:58:06Z")
> [@Your\_Great\_Darsh\_Face](#): > > Although Eowyn started out proceedings by decapitating the Fell Beast that the WK was riding, she loses metal points for needing the help of a hairy-footed peasant who crept up and stabbed the bad guy while he wasn’t looking. Honours were about even in the trash-talking round, I think, because although Eowyn led off with some fairly metal name-calling (“foul dwimmerlaik” is pretty darn creative) the WK came back with some classy threats of his own. The whole scene would play pretty well with some power chords, though. Yeah, I had to leave out Merry’s part to bring out the metal a bit. The trash talk just elevates the scene for her- the more metal the opponent you vanquish, the more metal are YOU! ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/39 "2015-08-31T20:03:07Z")
BTW, my point about Luthien being not-so-very metal stands. I nominate Eowyn for her spot. I second the part about the power chords, too. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873/40 "2015-08-31T21:38:46Z")
> [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](#): > > BTW, my point about Luthien being not-so-very metal stands. I nominate Eowyn for her spot. I second the part about the power chords, too. Physicists have noted that when JRR Tolkien concluded his epic with the publishing of Return of the King in 1955 in England, Angus Young was simultaneously born at the antipodal point in Australia, confirming earlier predictions of the Conservation of Metal theory. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-metal-deaths-in-middle-earth/723873.md?page=3)