# The most recent Unwatchable Movies **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 10, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916 "2009-03-10T04:06:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/1 "2009-03-10T04:06:35Z")
I was watching _Synecdoche New York_ last night. And while it recovers overall, the first part of it was reminding me of one of the worst experiences of my life: _Southland Tales_. Totally unwatchable. Which put me in mind of a few other recent experiences I’d, well, rather not be reminded of. So here’s my list: _Romance and Cigarettes Slipstream Southland Tales The Tracey Fragments War, Inc._ Now, obviously this overlooks such below-the-radar jewels as _David Hasselhoff in Anacondas Three_ and\* Underground Presidents\*. So, sticking with major releases that have NO FUCKING EXCUSE for being UTTERLY UNWATCHABLE from the last year or so, let’s hear yours. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/2 "2009-03-10T04:46:43Z")
_ **Wanted** _ ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/3 "2009-03-10T04:55:12Z")
I must disagree, personally. Yes, the storyline is RETARDED. But if you take that as a given, and just go along for the RETARDED ride, it’s a hoot. Have watched it several times, hooting all the while. But yes, I can’t really blame you. ---
**Author:** ![Sefton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Sefton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sefton)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/4 "2009-03-10T04:55:21Z")
Hmm… You keep using the word _unwatchable_. I do not think it means what you think it means. But I would put _Safe_ and _Spontaneous Combustion_ on my list of movies that should never be watched. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/5 "2009-03-10T04:57:23Z")
Hmm. 1990 and 1995. Not what I was looking for. (And \*Safe \*is a masterpiece, a brilliant, flawless movie. Just so’s you know.) ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/6 "2009-03-10T05:05:02Z")
Is _Revolver_ going too far back? I think it’s the worst movie I’ve seen this century. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/7 "2009-03-10T05:10:22Z")
I find most movies literally unwatchable, which is why I don’t watch them. I can sense whether or not a film is good before I watch it, yes yes, thank you, you may touch my cloak as I walk past. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/8 "2009-03-10T05:34:20Z")
I was tricked into watching **Southland Tales** by someone who _knew_ I didn’t like Donny Darko. If I never see another Richard Kelly movie, I’ll die a happy woman. I did watch the whole thing, though, waiting for there to be a point. The latest movies I didn’t bother finishing were **Eagle Eye** and **Gran Torino**. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/9 "2009-03-10T05:50:34Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Is _Revolver_ going too far back? I think it’s the worst movie I’ve seen this century. Yes, agreed. Added to the list. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/10 "2009-03-10T05:52:51Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > I was tricked into watching **Southland Tales** by someone who _knew_ I didn’t like Donny Darko. If I never see another Richard Kelly movie, I’ll die a happy woman. I did watch the whole thing, though, waiting for there to be a point. > > The latest movies I didn’t bother finishing were **Eagle Eye** and **Gran Torino**. Haven’t seen Gran Torino yet, but I’ve heard only good things so far, so I’ll be surprised if I end up agreeing with you. Eagle Eye, on the other hand, while I agree that if it had been been a lowbudget straight to video Bmovie it would have been unwatchable, was after all is said and done extremely entertaining . . . after you agreed to join the conspiracy of ignoring its badness. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/11 "2009-03-10T06:14:42Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Haven’t seen Gran Torino yet, but I’ve heard only good things so far, so I’ll be surprised if I end up agreeing with you. Guess you’ll have to watch it and see what you think. From [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=498288&highlight=Gran+Torino) I’m not the only doper who didn’t like it, nor even the only one who couldn’t make it all the way through the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/12 "2009-03-10T06:24:34Z")
> [@Stephe96](#): > > _ **Wanted** _ I watched it, but I fast forwarded. Talk about hokum. Doesn’t someone at some point fling the gun to the right to curve the bullet to the left? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/13 "2009-03-10T06:40:31Z")
In theaters right now: **Jonas Brothers 3D Pink Panther 2 He’s Just Not That Into You** ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/14 "2009-03-10T06:42:56Z")
I thought that most recent Batman movie was just terrible. Batman is talking in this stupid husky voice. It picked up when the Joker was on screen, but as soon as he wasn’t it headed straight into the toilet. I turned it off at the request of everyone else in the room. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/15 "2009-03-10T07:02:39Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I thought that most recent Batman movie was just terrible. Yeah, [me too](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10912471&postcount=5). ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/16 "2009-03-10T08:32:00Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Yeah, [me too](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10912471&postcount=5). The Bat-cycle was grossly stupid. The Joker was fun to watch, unfortunately they decided to put him in a Batman movie. He deserved better. Actually he deserved to be shot in the face repeatedly, but you know what I mean. I tried watching _The Last Winter_ recently but had to give up. Bad script, terrible characters and dulllll plot. The latest Bond was a chore to sit through. The elaborately ridiculous fight scenes and the exploding hotel at the end were terrible. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/17 "2009-03-10T13:20:40Z")
**The cat in the hat** - (2003, but I only saw it on TV a couple of months ago) terrible, horrible bad bad movie. edit: and agreed on **the dark knight**. not completely unwatchable, but only because of the Joker. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/18 "2009-03-10T13:59:15Z")
Mr. Shayamalan’s **The Happening** happened to piss me right off (that is when it wasn’t putting me to sleep). Bah:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Elysium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3be4f8/32.png) [@Elysium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysium)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/19 "2009-03-10T14:35:36Z")
I got so bored with the _Hellboy II_ movie I almost fell asleep. Mike Mignola must be weeping. Seriously, the first one was no masterpiece but it was a fun movie and entertained me. THe second one was barely watchable. Ugh. But \*Wanted \*was at least entertaining nonsensical fluff. Plus James MacAvoy is adorable. I am waiting for the riff track for _The Happening_ before I watch it, that’s the only way I’ve seen some of the more horrid recent movies. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916/20 "2009-03-10T14:40:13Z")
I haven’t sen it yet, but by all accounts the recent film **The Echelon Conspiracy** is a shoo-in for my annual Bad Film Festival. Out of the seven reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, none is positive, giving it a rating of _zero_. Add that the Boston Phoenix pans it in no uncertain terms, and you have a true winner of a loser: [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/echelon\_conspiracy/](http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/echelon_conspiracy/) > [@](#): > > There is no level on which director Greg Marcks’s film isn’t spectacularly stupid. > > Brilliant young engineer Max Peterson (a mugging Shane West) receives anonymous, omniscient texts that lead him away from a doomed airplane and toward friendly slot machines and untold wealth before embroiling him in an international conspiracy run by (spoiler!) the NSA’s self-aware supercomputer, Echelon. It’s as if EagleEye and War Games had been combined and written for the screen by a ninth-grader. > > The plot is so riddled with holes that to single out one would be a disservice to the others; the climax might just be the worst in modern American film. Echelon Conspiracy’s saving grace, if has one, is that all the unintentional laughs make it worth the price of admission — but I can’t in good conscience recommend watching it sober. > **[The Phoenix \> Reviews \> Review: Echelon Conspiracy](https://thephoenix.com/Boston/Movies/77637-ECHELON-CONSPIRACY/)** > > ECHELON CONSPIRACY Review, Boston Reviews, Shane West, Shane West [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-recent-unwatchable-movies/488916.md?page=2)