# The Most Unsexy Names **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222 "2003-05-09T23:05:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/61 "2003-05-11T00:00:03Z")
Boys: Adolph Aldous (as in Huxley) Arlo Archibald Ambrose Arnold (sorry, just not a sexy name) Barnabus Bertram Bartholomew Brewster (nothing ending is “ster” can be sexy, can it?) Burl (as in Ives) Burgess (as in Meredith) Chester (See “Brewster” for the rule governing this one) Clyde Darwin Dermot Delroy Dwayne Dwight (that ‘dw’ sound ain’t happenin’) Earl Edgar Edmund Edwin Eugene Eustace Garfield Garth Harold Harvey Hector Herbert (anything ending in “bert” is risky, folks) Herman Horace Humphrey Jarvis Jerome Kermit Knute (pronounced “Noot”) Leopold Lester Lionel Melvin Norbert (there’s that “bert” curse again!) Norman Obadiah Ogden Olaf Percy Purvis Ralph Rudolph Seymour Sherman Stanley Sylvester Vernon Virgil Walter Wayne Now I want it carefully noted that I never said that men with these names could not be sexy … but if they are it’s in spite of the name, because the name _ain’t_ helping! Girls: Adelaide Agatha Agnes Astrid Beatrice Bernice Darlene Dolores Dorcas Edith Eleanor Esther Florence Frances Geraldine Harriet Hester Imogene Inez Louise Lurlene Mavis Martha Nadine Naoma Oprah Phyllis Sylvia Thelma Trilby Velma Wallis Wanda Once again, no one’s saying that women with these names can’t be sexy. I’m sure there are some very hot women out there who somehow ended up with these names. But I doubt anyone envisions a sensual seductress when they first here these names, either. ---
**Author:** ![Treviathan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@Treviathan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treviathan)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/62 "2003-05-11T01:05:53Z")
For guys: Alistair Ashley (fine for girls, though) Boris Bruno Carmen Chauncey Cornelius Dana (see Ashley) Emile (unlike Agnes, I can’t imagine this being sexy in french) Gord Hank Ichabod Ira Lonnie Murray (Gord, Lonnie, Hank and Murray would make a great overweight, balding bowling team) Manfred Quincy Remus Rory Spalding Thaddeus Zane Girls: Belinda Bonnie Constance Cora Esmerelda Fern Hagar Morag (IMHO, the worst name ever, bar none.) Sabine Shirley Tabitha Vivian Winnifred ---
**Author:** ![Edwardina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Edwardina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edwardina)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/63 "2003-05-11T01:32:04Z")
Winnifred, Fern, and Chauncey! Good ones! I respectfully disagree with Sabine, Hank, Zane, and Rory, though. Hank and Zane are cowboy names. Cowboys are sexy. ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/64 "2003-05-11T02:37:35Z")
Thus far unmentioned: Otis & Englebert ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/65 "2003-05-11T02:41:35Z")
Agnes Eunice Florence Strom Trent [note: even if those two weren’t in and of themselves so unsexy, their names still are] ---
**Author:** ![Stinkum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Stinkum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stinkum)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/66 "2003-05-11T02:48:41Z")
I knew my name would be on the list. Sigh. But I’m awfully cute, even with an old-fart name! ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/67 "2003-05-11T03:00:12Z")
Gee, I’ve always liked the name Stinkum myself… I believe that I knew someone named Mergatroid. I don’t even know if it was male of female. You all have just named half of the people in my class at school, most of their parents and all of my relatives. 😃 I’m not fond of the names Dorthula and Hermione for women. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/68 "2003-05-11T03:11:31Z")
My ex-bf’s mom’s first names is **Dortha**. WTF were her parents THINKING??? ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/69 "2003-05-11T03:47:14Z")
Adolph ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/70 "2003-05-11T04:56:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuco \* > \*\* > > My contribution - NIGEL. \*\* Yeah, Nigel would be one that I would nominate, along with Neville, Wayne, Terry and Lance. This list does not include the old-fashioned or obscure names that were popular in the dark ages…like Cecil, Percival or Wally…truly unsexy names. For the female variety, I would include Leanne, Dianne, Edith, Melva and Thelma. Of course there are others, but for common names, these strike me as particularly lacking in ‘arousability’. Apologies to anyone who is offended by my inclusions. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/71 "2003-05-11T04:58:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by caveman \* > \*\*Thus far unmentioned: Otis & Englebert \*\* Damn…where’s **Deeward** when you need her? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![knock\_knock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@knock\_knock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/knock_knock)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/72 "2003-05-11T05:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by eman77 \* > \*\*Also when I picked Jesus, I meant Je-sus not hay-sus. Imagine being in bed and yelling his name. \*\* I was thinking Je-sus. Maybe it’s just the Big Lebowski that’s making me find it not unsexy. And there’s nothing wrong with yelling his name in bed - I’m sure that plenty of people do that all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Mooney252](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7c8e57/32.png) [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/73 "2003-05-11T14:06:20Z")
Two pages and no one’s suggested that this name is unsexy: **Buckwheat** We did an amniocentesis, so we knew we’d be having a girl. To those who’d ask: “Have you picked out a name?” the response was always the same, “If it’s a girl we’re going to name her Anne but if it’s a boy it’ll be Buckwheat.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/74 "2003-05-11T15:32:18Z")
Edna ---
**Author:** ![Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mirror\_Image\_egamI\_rorriM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mirror_Image_egamI_rorriM)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/75 "2003-05-11T17:22:22Z")
Gertrude. Or Blanche. ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/76 "2003-05-11T17:25:00Z")
Lester. ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/77 "2003-05-11T18:53:36Z")
My grandmother-in-law’s name was Opal Cretora. She didn’t like Opal, so they called her Cretora. I am still amazed. She named one of her daughter’s Doris. Doris didn’t like THAT, so they called her Ilou (pronounced eye-loo). We can’t remember it exactly, but Mrs. Doubtfire’s first name is a doozy “Eulagenia” or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/78 "2003-05-11T19:52:03Z")
Guys: Brainerd (yes, it’s a real name). Arvin (no, I didn’t leave the M off). ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/79 "2003-05-11T21:31:40Z")
Guys– Hamish No, that’s _not_ a misspelling. Girls– Mary. Hey, I went to Catholic school. It _marked_ me. ---
**Author:** ![thatDDperson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@thatDDperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thatDDperson)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222/80 "2003-05-11T21:49:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*It is about as sexy as four day old, thrice run over road kill. It is the anti-blind date kinda name. It is birth control unto itself. It is a name that given to a baby gives her a tremendous obstacle to over come. It is a menstrual cramp of a name. > > What is it? > > **Joan.** > > Guess what my real name is? \*\* Count you blessings. Dorothy (not that I use it), daughter of Dorothy, daughter of Meta, daughter of Zipporah, daughter of Hepizbah. It is a family tradition to name your female children dorky names. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-unsexy-names/174222.md?page=5)