# The Most Useless Thread EVAR! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 1, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703 "2016-09-01T20:52:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/1 "2016-09-01T20:52:45Z")
Not all threads are required to have a purpose or a point. We even have a whole forum called Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS, pronounced EM puh sims. Yes we have had a thread on that). A thread should have some utility, however, even if it is entertainment only. There are threads, however, that are absolutely useless. They don’t even rise to the level of time wasters. They are - well, nothing. Even soul sucking could be considered useful to those who are into that. This is not so much about the poster themselves, although I put it in the Pit because I know there is a high likelihood of that occurring. Heaven knows there may have been a time where I myself was the OP of a useless thread. Unlikely, but possible. “Newbie with odd relationship issue” threads are rife with this, and my opening contribution to the list is the anti-classic “[Girlfriend goes to Cuba…](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=798566)” thread in the aforementioned MPSIMS. Nothing useful, not entertaining, not believable - a true black hole of internet space. Are there worse examples? [sub]NOTE: the first person to nominate this thread is an unimaginative, mouth breathing, wildebeest licking dipthong (sounds so dirty!)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/2 "2016-09-01T21:36:36Z")
It seems to me that discussion of useless threads would in itself be useless. So, OP wins. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/3 "2016-09-01T21:41:08Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > [sub]NOTE: the first person to nominate this thread is an unimaginative, mouth breathing, wildebeest licking dipthong (sounds so dirty!)[/sub] Nay, this shall not happen. This thread will have a point of great social importance. Everyone point and laugh and at this chick as she tries to SJW a Lyft driver for having a hula girl bobble-head. Here is a twitterer who claims to have spoken to the driver. **TRIGGER WARNING!!!** Image of racist hula girl in the twitter tweet. [https://twitter.com/Lauren\_Southern/status/770772502863876096](https://twitter.com/Lauren_Southern/status/770772502863876096) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/4 "2016-09-01T21:44:22Z")
Just noticed the OP’s note at the end. Looks like I win, too. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2016, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/5 "2016-09-01T22:40:46Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > **TRIGGER WARNING!!!** > > Image of racist hula girl in the twitter tweet. > > [x.com](https://twitter.com/Lauren_Southern/status/770772502863876096) The horror! The photo on the left really is a deeply offensive stereotypical image. I used to think the hula doll was fine though. I bought one similar to it for my daughters in Hawaii because I liked the hula dancers but I know now that I was just participating in the oppressive patriarchy for doing that (damn you gift shops!!!). I am not sure how anyone can live there with all of the real-life hula dancers giving performances to celebrate their culture every day. How offensive and demeaning! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/6 "2016-09-02T01:27:04Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > Just noticed the OP’s note at the end. Looks like I win, too. I’m curious, is it hard to lick a wildebeest while breathing thru your mouth? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/7 "2016-09-02T02:15:17Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > I’m curious, is it hard to lick a wildebeest while breathing thru your mouth? It’th a liddle diphaculth, yeth. Damn thing keepth moving aorundth. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/8 "2016-09-02T02:34:35Z")
I would say the thread about how the Egyptian Pyramids were built by geyser power was actually more useless. ---
**Author:** ![TheStake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@TheStake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheStake)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/9 "2016-09-02T12:06:15Z")
Haha! Please give a cite ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/10 "2016-09-02T12:55:09Z")
> [@El\_Kabong](#): > > It seems to me that discussion of useless threads would in itself be useless. > > So, OP wins. Even had I not expressly outlined the penalty for such insolence, I submit that a thread warning against useless threads is useful under the category of “informative”. By the way, I think you missed a spot on the wildebeest. Please continue licking. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/11 "2016-09-02T13:57:31Z")
This thread title in GD is so stupid, I refuse to dignify its existence by clicking on it. **Are meat-eaters really more cruel than vegetarians?** Just the title alone is packed with so much bleeding-heart paroxysms and unneeded drama, it’s not even laughable. It’s a suppurative blemish that somebody considered attractive and wanted to show off. It serves no other purpose. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/12 "2016-09-02T17:28:13Z")
I remember seeing a thread a few years back… **Would you rather pee or shit your pants** The visual was too much, I never opened it. But it had replies. ---
**Author:** ![Chisquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Chisquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chisquirrel)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/13 "2016-09-02T17:58:42Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > Nay, this shall not happen. > > This thread will have a point of great social importance. > > Everyone point and laugh and at this chick as she tries to SJW a Lyft driver for having a hula girl bobble-head. The moment she started speaking, I wanted it to stop. Thank God I wasn’t in his position. “Being unable to dance like her is not a class protected from discrimination.” “If it offends you, close your eyes.” “Your voice offends me, please shut up.” et cetera I try to be socially conscious and often fail, sometimes spectacularly. But things like this frustrate me, because at this point I have no idea what could possibly acceptable. ---
**Author:** ![Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90ced4/32.png) [@Waltzes\_with\_Cacti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waltzes_with_Cacti)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2016, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/14 "2016-09-02T20:15:18Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > … (MPSIMS, pronounced EM puh sims ) … Nonsense. It’s pronounced MiPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/15 "2016-09-03T00:24:19Z")
I say “Mip’-Sims” because in my brain MPSIMS stands for “Mom I’d Play SIMS with”. ---
**Author:** ![Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba8739/32.png) [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/16 "2016-09-03T00:45:01Z")
Shit. I’ve always been saying EM _pee_ sims. And you know what? I’m not going to stop. And by the way, Jiff is a peanut butter. Gif is a short repeating video. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/17 "2016-09-03T03:00:27Z")
> [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](#): > > Shit. I’ve always been saying EM _pee_ sims. And you know what? I’m not going to stop. And by the way, Jiff is a peanut butter. Gif is a short repeating video. BTW, since the G in .gif stands for Graphic, you can call it a _Jiff_ but then you have to try to always say \*Jrafic \*(did the Jurrafic come before the Jerkretaceous epoch?) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/18 "2016-09-03T10:58:11Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > I remember seeing a thread a few years back… > > **Would you rather pee or shit your pants** > > The visual was too much, I never opened it. > > But it had replies. Wait. Who the hell _wouldn’t_ choose to pee (in a toilet) over shitting (in their pants)? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/19 "2016-09-03T11:22:48Z")
> [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](#): > > Shit. I’ve always been saying EM _pee_ sims. And you know what? I’m not going to stop. And by the way, Jiff is a peanut butter. Gif is a short repeating video. I’ve always pronounced the abbreviation as “Em Pee Simms” too; I figure it conjures up images of a futuristic German submachine-gun; likely firing pulse munitions or something else requiring a cool acronym-y designation like “SIMS”. Just to explain the joke, “MP” is the German military designation for “Submachine Gun” (literally _Maschinenpistole_; ‘machine-pistol’); think MP-40 or MP-5. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2016, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703/20 "2016-09-03T13:37:46Z")
> [@TheStake](#): > > Haha! Please give a cite I can’t provide a link, because I’m on my tablet, and the thread is locked, but: If you go on advanced search, enter the poster name “cladking”, and search for all posts in ascending order, you will find his debut post on the subject, which he harped on for nearly seven months before flouncing off, apparently insulted that nobody tried to talk him out of leaving us. This guy has a claim to fame, btw. Rationalwiki name-checks him on their “List of well-known cranks” article. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-most-useless-thread-evar/764703.md?page=2)